Player-owned port/Ports updates

While your ship is on a voyage, you may occasionally receive random updates about your ship, which do not actually affect your ship in any way. The messages generally joke about ships, and may include references to other Runescape activities, other video games, or pop culture. These will be shown in the chatbox through the game filter, and may include:


 * (number) rats were found aboard (ship name) today.
 * A crew member of (ship's name) shot an albatross. Bad move.
 * A mermaid has given directions to (ship name).
 * A small drunk man appeared from nowhere and briefly abducted the captain of (ship name).
 * All the biscuits on (ship name) have been eaten by weevils. All the weevils have been eaten by the crew.
 * Due to shipworm, the timbers of (ship name) have been slightly shivered.
 * Legal action has been threatened against (ship name) after it dropped its anchor on a mogre's home.
 * One of the crew of (ship name) was a penguin in disguise. It has escaped custody...
 * Pirates boarded (ship name) and decided there wasn't anything worth taking.
 * Rum supplies are running perilously low on (ship name).
 * Rumours say that (ship name) sank with all hands. These are lies.
 * Several of the crew of (ship name) have nearly died of dysentery.
 * Sightings of sea serpents have been reported by the crew of (ship name).
 * The captain of (ship name) managed to prevent a mutiny by increasing the crew's rations.
 * The captain of (ship name) briefly became obsessed with a white whale, but has got over it.
 * The captain of (ship name) has admitted that he can't swim.
 * The captain of (ship name) has discovered and chartered a previously unknown reef. With the ship's keel.
 * The captain of (ship name) has organised another floggin'.
 * The captain of (ship name) is drunk again.
 * The captain of (ship name) is sober today.
 * The captain of (ship name) noticed some of the crew missing after sailing near a quiet village.
 * The captain of (ship name) says he saw a giant whale! but no one in the crew believed in him...
 * The crew of (ship name) are convinced the mogre they caught yesterday is actually dolan.
 * The crew of (ship name) are convinced the mogre they caught yesterday is actually a mermaid princess.
 * The crew of (ship name) are swabbing like they've never swabbed before.
 * The crew of (ship name) are singing sea shanties... very, very badly.
 * The crew of (ship name) caught a giant talking fish; it flopped overboard before they could stop it.
 * The crew of (ship name) have begun singing bawdy sea shanties.
 * The crew of (ship name) have begun saying 'Arr!' loudly instead of talking normally.
 * The crew of (ship name) have repelled an assault by deadly sea cabbages.
 * The crew of (ship name) is reduced to eating baked beans. There are rumblings in the fo'c'sle.
 * The crew of (ship name) let the figurehead park. The damage was minor.
 * The crew of (ship name) rescued a sailor found floating on some flotsam.
 * The crew of (ship name) wanted to know how many sailors would fit in the crow's nest at once. The experiment ended badly.
 * The crew of (ship name) watched in amazement as an island rose out of the sea and floated into the sky.
 * The crew of (ship name) were beguiled by manatees.
 * The crew of (ship name) were waylaid because the captain wanted to top up his tan.
 * The first mate of (ship name) is in the brig after an unfortunate, grog-related incident.
 * The lookout aboard (ship name) has spent day yelling 'Marco' out to sea. There has been no response.
 * The mast of (ship name) was felled by a stowaway beaver. Luckily, a spare was acquired.
 * The Void Knights were sure (ship name) was hiding pests and detained the crew. It's now back on course.
 * There has been a birthday party on (ship name) today. # shipmates were sick.
 * There was a leak in (ship name)'s hull! Everyone bailed as fast as they could.
 * There was a leak in (ship name)'s hull! It was quite big, so they stuffed the bo'sun in it.
 * There was a leak in (ship name)'s hull! It was quite small, so they just put a cork in it.
 * There was a leak in (ship name)'s hull! They had to break up the lifeboats for wood to repair it.
 * Your crew has become addicted to Braindeath 'rum'.
 * Your crew of (ship name) have confirmed that worse things really do happen at sea.
 * Your ship (ship name) almost sails off the edge of the world, then remembers Gielinor is a globe.
 * Your ship (ship name) decided to take the long way home, which curiously takes no additional time.
 * Your ship (ship name) found Bailey Holmes's locker. Turns out it contains gnomeball equipment that needs a wash.
 * Your ship (ship name) has become becalmed. The crew have had to eat the cabin boy.
 * Your ship (ship name) has been issued a ticket for speeding.
 * Your ship (ship name) has been threatened with legal action after dropping anchor on a mogre's house.
 * Your ship (ship name) has defeated a vast socktopus formed out of huge piles of wizards' discarded socks.
 * Your ship (ship name) has encountered a crude goblin ship, drifting while its two captains argue about the course to take.
 * Your ship (ship name) has encountered a flying squid at sea, and is giving battle!
 * Your ship (ship name) has encountered a fremennik longboat and the crew have lost a drinking contest.
 * Your ship (ship name) has encountered a ghost ship. The crew is human, but the ship is a ghost. No one's sure how that works.
 * Your ship (ship name) has encountered a large trading vessel, with a finely dressed purple man on board, sipping tea.
 * Your ship (ship name) has encountered a mysterious ship, which released a kraken.
 * Your ship (ship name) has evaded a ninja monkey ship.
 * Your ship (ship name) has evaded a pirate ship.
 * Your ship (ship name) has evaded a zombie pirate ship.
 * Your ship (ship name) has explored a point on the map marked 'Here Be Dragons'. Nothing interesting happened.
 * Your ship (ship name) has found an island inhabited by witches who live in the sand. Supplies have been restocked.
 * Your ship (ship name) has gone wildly off course; the navigator trusted his duties to a parrot.
 * Your ship (ship name) has hitched a ride on a surfacing whale.
 * Your ship (ship name) has laid in additional supplies of fresh water and fruit.
 * Your ship (ship name) has passed a sunken island once fabled for its school for adventurers.
 * Your ship (ship name) has passed another in the night.
 * Your ship (ship name) has passed a Void Knight frigate doing battle with an extra-dimensional sea monster.
 * Your ship (ship name) has passed an island where natives ride on strange beasts like hornless unicorns.
 * Your ship (ship name) has passed the Entrana Monks' ferry. Those crew members who could not mind their language were locked below.
 * Your ship (ship name) has repelled a boarding party of sea imps.
 * Your ship (ship name) has run out of rum. In desperation, the crew has turned to drinking water.
 * Your ship (ship name) has run out of space in the captain's log.
 * Your ship (ship name) has sighted strange pylons. The crew are attempting to construct an additional one.
 * Your ship (ship name) has temporarily run out of ocean.
 * Your ship (ship name) has weathered a mild storm.
 * Your ship (ship name) has wisely stayed out of a battle between a ninja monkey ship and a zombie pirate ship.
 * Your ship (ship name) is celebrating the captain's birthday. Grog all round!
 * Your ship (ship name) is going on course. Nothing bad has happened. Promise.
 * Your ship (ship name) is trying to outrace dolphins.
 * Your ship (ship name) managed to avoid some pirates.
 * Your ship (ship name) was briefly abducted by a random event.
 * Your ship (ship name) has gone wildly off course; The navigator trusted his duties to a parrot.
 * Your ship (ship name) was delayed when the helmsman fell asleep while turning starboard and sailed in circles all night.
 * Your ship (ship name) was double-parked in port last night.
 * Your ship (ship name) was painted in rainbow colours and is now 20% cooler.
 * Your ship (ship name) sighting of the Kalphite Queen turned out to be a weevil on the telescope.
 * Your ship (ship name) spotted smoke signals on a nearby island and went to investigate.
 * Your ship (ship name) traded for a crate of sword bows. Sadly, a storm has washed them overboard.
 * Your ship (ship name) went off course when the helmsman sailed around Dragontooth Island three times.
 * There was a mutiny on (ship name) over who gets to use the phrase 'shiver me timbers'
 * Your ship (ship name) has traded for some yo-yos and a bottle of rum.
 * Your ship (ship name) has had its rations transformed into poisonus fungi, so the crew has summoned giant toads to eat instead.
 * Your ship (ship name) is making good time thanks to a favourable wind.
 * Scurvy has been warded off (ship name) by the fortuitous acquisition of a hundred peaches.

Trivia

 * "A crew member of (ship's name) shot an albatross. Bad move." is a reference to the poem "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner", in which an albatross is shot down causing the entire crew to perish but the one that shot it.
 * "A small drunk man appeared from nowhere and briefly abducted the captain of (ship name)." is a reference to the Drunken Dwarf former random event.
 * "All the biscuits on (ship name) have been eaten by weevils. All the weevils have been eaten by the crew." is possibly a reference to the British comedy Red Dwarf, in which space weevils have eaten all the food so the android crew member serves space weevils for meals.
 * "Due to shipworm, the timbers of (ship name) have been slightly shivered." references the well-known "pirate" phrase, "Shiver me timbers!"
 * "Several of the crew of (ship name) have nearly died of dysentery." references the popular educational computer game The Oregon Trail, which players frequently lost when the game unexpectedly informed them "You have died of dysentery."
 * "The captain of (ship name) briefly became obsessed with a white whale, but has got over it." refers to the white whale from Herman Melville's classic novel.
 * "Your ship (ship name) has sighted strange pylons. The crew are attempting to construct an additional one." is a reference to the video game 'Starcraft'. In Starcraft the race known as 'The Protoss' have to construct buildings known as 'pylons' to be able to support more units. When trying to train a unit without enough of these pylons, the game gives you the message 'You must construct additional pylons'.
 * "Your ship (ship name) was painted in rainbow colours and is now 20% cooler." is another reference to characters from the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. In this case it is Rainbow Dash.
 * "One of the crew of (ship name) was a penguin in disguise. It has escaped custody..." is a reference to the penguin quest series and penguin hide and seek, in which penguins disguise themselves in a bid to take over the world.
 * "Your ship (ship name) has passed a sunken island once fabled for its school for adventurers." is a possible reference to tutorial island which was recently removed from the game completely  (including the map)
 * "Your ship (ship name) has had its rations transformed into poisonus fungi, so the crew has summoned giant toads to eat instead" Is a referance to an episode in the popular anime Naruto Shippuden.