Cold War

Penguin spotting

 * 1) Speak to Larry at the south entrance of the Ardougne Zoo. He's a bit nutty about penguins and hopes to build a lookout to observe them, and he wants you to help. His instructions are to collect for him 10 oak planks, 10 steel nails, a hammer, and a spade.
 * 2) Finished_birdie_lookout.PNG you have collected the items, head back to Larry at the zoo to depart for the Iceberg. You can also find him at a pier north-west of the Keldagrim entrance, though it doesn't make any difference than talking to him at the zoo (Fairy ring code DKS, Lyre Teleport, Polar eagle ride or Camelot Teleport can be used to reach there). Upon arrival, look for a firm snow patch next to the teleport spot. Build the bird hide structure here by using an oak plank on the patch. Then use a spade on the lookout to cover it in snow.
 * 3) When the snowy bird hide is ready, speak to Larry. You see a rather strange cut scene, but it is important to keep note of the emotes the penguin does, as it shows the emote greeting code that is unique for every player. There are 8 different Penguin emotes in all, similar to the normal character emotes, and the greeting will consist of three of those. If you need to see them again, click "Use Snowy Bird Hide" to watch the cut scene again. After the cut scene, speak to Larry and suggest to him that the behaviour of the penguins in the cut scene was suspicious.
 * 4) Return to the dock and speak to Larry again; now here's where things get strange. Larry requests you now make a clockwork suit, which you will use to spy on the penguins. He gives a book filled with instructions.

Making A Clockwork Suit

 * 1) Collect a regular wood plank (the games necklace teleport is handy here, just teleport to Barbarian Outpost and head east a bit to find some planks), a piece of silk, and a steel bar or a clockwork.
 * 2) Use the Crafting table 3 at your house or someone else's. Select Clockwork mechanism with the steel bar in your inventory.
 * 3) Then use the option Clockwork toy and select Clockwork penguin to make a clockwork suit.

Back To The Iceberg

 * 1) Return to Larry at the Rellekka dock or Ardougne Zoo (recommended) after finishing the suit. Jointly return to the Iceberg to test it out.
 * 2) After returning, you see that lookout has been completely destroyed and that all the penguins are missing. Speak to Larry, and to no surprise he blames the penguins. Now, since there are no penguins, it appears impossible to test the suit. However, you—the clever adventurer—suggest to Larry that you test the suit on the penguins at the zoo. Larry kindly assists with a teleport back to Ardougne Zoo.

Meet The Penguins

 * 1) Free your hands and cape and talk to Larry. He casts a magic spell. The magic causes a player to shrink and enter the penguin suit! Now test out the disguise. Head into the penguin enclosure and right click on the penguins until you find one with the talk option. Talk to that penguin, and you are forced to give him a greeting before he shall speak to you; this is different for each player. Use the emote sequence that the earlier cutscene showed. The penguin starts talking. Now apparently penguins are trying to learn to fly and escape from Ardougne Zoo. The penguin gives you a mission report to return to the outpost and ask you to speak to the penguins in Lumbridge.
 * 2) Speak to Larry, and you and Larry discuss where penguins could be in Lumbridge. Now head to Lumbridge.
 * 3) Odd.PNG to those of you who have a keen eye you may already know where the penguin operatives are. If not, however, head to Farmer Fred's sheep pasture where you find Larry; use the tuxedo time option with him (don't forget to remove everything from your hands, and cape). Now head off and find a sheep with flippers and a talk option. Before talking perform the secret greeting as shown in the previous step. Once you have done the greeting, the penguins still do not speak to you.
 * 4) Speak to Larry and he helps you both return to Ardougne Zoo. Then re-tuxedo before entering the penguin enclosure once more and speak to the penguin again. However, he does not give you the phrase, so speak to Larry again and he gives you two suggestions to bribe the penguin with:
 * 5) A raw cod, the penguins favourite food.
 * 6) Use a Ring of Charos (a), a ring with powerful magic properties. You do not get the normal (Charm) option, the penguin simply provides the phrase. (Make sure you are wielding the ring or it will not work)
 * 7) When you have either the raw cod in your inventory or are wearing the ring, talk to the penguin in the Zoo and he tells you that the secret phrase is Do not trust the walrus.

Intelligence

 * 1) Return to Lumbridge. Go to Farmer Fred's sheep pen and penguin suit up! Now the penguins tell you to talk to Farmer Fred to see if he's an undercover agent for the humans.
 * 2) Speak to Farmer Fred about penguins and use either the bully option or warn option. Both work, and when you are done talking to Fred, return and speak with the penguin again. Pick either option in the conversation with the penguins and then they give you the location of the outpost; It is on the Iceberg you visited earlier under what appears to be an avalanche. They also give you the password cabbage.
 * 3) Speak to Larry and he teleports you to the iceberg. Suit up to penguin again and head north-west until seeing a KGP agent penguin and use the emote greeting, then tell him the password. He then asks you for an ID, but guess what, you don't have one!
 * 4) Now speak to Noodle. He's the black-market merchant close to the KGP agent. He'll trade you a Kgp id card and a report for one swamp tar and five feathers. (In Postbag From the Hedge, Noodle says they're for his mother, who is losing her feathers, but Larry sometimes tells you 42 ways that a penguin can torture you using a feather during boat trips.)
 * 5) Exchange the materials with Noodle for the ID and another mission report. Speak to the KGP agent, and he'll let you through, then left click on the avalanche and you should see the option use avalanche and you enter the outpost.
 * 6) Once inside, go into the second room on the left (the first door on the left is locked) and talk to the KGP agent there.
 * 7) Go through the door at the west end of the room, head up the corridor, and go through the door at the end to enter the agility course.
 * 8) Once you have gone through the door at the end of the corridor, you see a small cut scene showing a penguin army! Suddenly, you seem to realise their intentions are a little more devious than just flying! (If you speak with the Army Commander, he tells you the penguins are "Getting ready for the invasion.") Follow the signs with arrows to the agility course, and when the path ends at the checkerboard starting line, click it start the agility course.

Agility course

 * 1) Jump_penguin_Jump!.PNG down the steps and into the water.
 * 2) Avoid the moving ice in the water.
 * 3) Climb the stepping stone at the end.
 * 4) Jump to the next stepping stone.
 * 5) Jump to the 5 next stones. (If you fail you will take minor damage). And jump to the land again (it's a hard-to-find click option).
 * 6) After you manage to cross, continue on the path until you come to a shelf with icicles on it. Use the right-click tread softly option to get across. You have to repeat this several times at each shelf. If you fail you will be hit taking a small damage.
 * 7) Next, you have to cross ice. This is a little annoying. You take 2 damage each time you fail. If you have only the minimal agility—level 30, for example—a small amount of food may help.
 * 8) After that, you have a small cutscene of you sliding down a hill.
 * 9) Speak to the agility instructor, and you are done with the agility arena and free to go wherever you wish in the lair.
 * Note: You may re-enter the agility course after completion of the quest if you have made another Penguin Suit.
 * You may want to bring at least three lobsters and an agility potion or two for this part as you will tend to get damaged while crossing the ice.
 * Note: Before, If you ran out of food any time and did not wish to risk losing items, you could un-equip the penguin suit (it's a cape) and you would be caught and stunned but otherwise returned to where Larry is on the iceberg. Now there is a note saying you need Larry's help to remove the suit.

Discover the penguin plan
(Note: You may only travel back to the Iceberg by Larry who is close to the Keldagrim entrance north-east of Relleka).
 * 1) Return to Larry and tell him about the army you saw! He tells you he needs you to find where they are making their war plans.
 * 2) Return to the outpost but instead of turning left this time head straight up till you come to massive doors. Ask the KGP agent in the little office to the left of the doors to let you in. He says his orders are to let no one go through the doors.
 * 3) Head back down the hallway and enter the room with Ping and Pong. They ask you for a cowbell and set of penguin bongos; you may not see the point but this will help later.
 * 4) Return to Larry (at Relleka) and ask him how to get a cowbell and some bongos; he suggests you steal the cow bell from a cow and make the penguin bongos from mahogany and soft leather. (Use soft leather on a mahogany plank.)
 * 5) Find a dairy cow and steal a cow bell. If you happen to be in Zanaris when attempting to steal it, you will have a short conversation with the cow before she actually gives you the bell.
 * 6) Go back to Ping and Pong and talk with them. You see a cutscene with the two penguins playing a song and then the guard entering the room. While the guard is distracted, operate the control panel where the KGP agent used to be standing to open the door. The war room is to the east. Enter.

Caught by Pescaling Pax

 * 1) Icelord.PNG see a cut scene of the penguins planning to take over RuneScape! The penguins in the room take your suit, and then you are teleported to a cage filled with Icelords. They are level 51 and easy to kill. You may need to kill a few before you can leave, although some people have only had to kill one. Others have had to kill two. So if your level is awfully low or have no armour bring three or four lobsters. The Icelords can range as well, so watch out. (Note: If you are a skiller, stop here. Defeating the Icelord gives 40 attack xp.)
 * 2) Exit the cage through the fence door made of ice, and then exit though a chasm east of the Icelord cage.
 * 3) Talk to Larry for a final time to finish the quest.

Reward



 * 1 Quest point
 * 2000 Experience
 * 5000 Experience
 * 1500 Experience
 * Ability to make the penguin suit. To enter the suit again you must talk to Larry again at the zoo, pier, farm or iceberg.
 * Ability to use the Penguin Agility Course
 * Players can also steal more cowbells and make more bongos. A player can play the cowbells or the bongos if in a penguin suit.
 * Ability to contact Larry through the NPC Contact spell.
 * When playing Penguin Hide and Seek, you will receive 2 points for some penguins.

Music
Music tracks unlocked:


 * Espionage
 * Have an Ice Day

The concept
The concept of this quest is a parody of the real-life Cold War, a period of quiet hostility between the United States (with other Western Powers such as the United Kingdom) and the Soviet Union for over 40 years. Apart from the quest being named after it, the following details from the quest are references to this historical event:
 * The KGP is strikingly and amusingly similar to the KGB which is the abbreviation (Russian) for Committee for State Security.
 * The penguins refer to their home as "the motherland", which is a label very often used to describe the Soviet Union
 * The term "Comrade" is a translation of tovarisch, a Russian term for a travel or business companion that broadened to mean "friend" or "ally" in left-wing circles. In Russia and some ex-Soviet countries, common usage eventually turned the word into one that can also be used in a manner similar to "Mister".
 * "Palingrad" sounds similar to the Russian cities Stalingrad and Leningrad (Today named Saint Petersburg).
 * Russian cosmonauts wore penguin (space) suits.
 * The posters in the penguin outpost are a reference to patriotic murals often found in communist countries.
 * The giant penguin seen at the end of the quest may possibly be a reference to ICBM missiles that were possessed by the Soviet Union during the real-life Cold War. It may also be a reference to the giant statue of the "Motherland" built by the USSR to commemorate the Battle of Stalingrad.

Other references

 * See also: Cultural references


 * Ping and Pong may also be a play on words of Cheech and Chong - a pair of hippies portrayed in a series of movies from the late '70s through the '80s.
 * Ping and Pong are also similar to the names of two penguins from the plasticine animated show " Pingu", with the penguins referred to "Pingu" and his friend "Pongi".
 * Ping and Pong may also refer to the game of table tennis called 'Ping Pong'.
 * "Cabbage" was a substitute for offensive words in Runescape Classic
 * The penguin is creator Andrew Gower's favourite animal.citation needed
 * The song "Have an ice day" is a pun on "have a nice day" by Stereophonics
 * When asking the penguin for the secret phrase, there is an option to say "Is it Rumpelstiltskin?" Rumpelstiltskin is a mythological creature who takes children away from mothers. In the traditional story, a queen must guess his name in order to keep her child.
 * Ping says "We need more cowbell", a reference to the More cowbell comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live
 * The Lumbridge penguins in sheep's costume are similar to The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
 * Noodles is a name sometimes given to a Macaroni Penguin.
 * The secret phrase - do not trust the walrus might be a reference to Lewis Carroll's The Walrus and the Carpenter. The walrus invites some oysters to join them in a walk along the beach, the two titular characters get hungry and eat all of the oysters.
 * John Lennon wrote a song I Am the Walrus and commented "It never dawned on me that Lewis Carroll was commenting on the capitalist and social system. ... the walrus was the bad guy in the story..."
 * Oingo Boingo is the name of a music band.
 * Larry's exclamations of "They're organized!" are a reference to Mr. Tweedy from the film Chicken Run.
 * Cold War is the 100th member's quest.
 * If the player has completed The Enlightened Journey or Between a Rock..., the player will suggest flying in a balloon or from a cannon, respectively. Note that these rigs are present in the Penguin base.
 * When Noodle asks you for the swamp tar and feathers, this is a reference to the past torturing called "Tar and Feathering", which was a person would be covererd in hot tar and then covered in feathers.
 * When this update was released, penguins and Ardougne Zoo had their graphics changed. This bit was unannounced.
 * The penguins of the army are Gentoo penguins; which lends its name to a Linux operating system flavour.
 * Examining the trumpet near Ping and Pong gives the text "Miles Davis is looking for this...".
 * Examining the KGP ID Card gives the text "So you can be a penguin too!" This is similar to the phrase "So you can be a big pig too!" which is said by Timon in The Lion King.
 * Michael Palin played Dr. Peaches Bartkowicz in a sketch about penguins on Monty Python's Flying Circus - A Book at Bedtime episode (episode 38). Peaches is seen looking up at a 66-foot high penguin similar to the final cut scene in the quest. The iceberg outpost named 'Palingrad' may be fusion of Michael's surname and Stalingrad.
 * Examine the Piano and it says "I only know Chopsticks" this is a reference to the widely known, and as some people would put it, annoying circus tune, chopsticks, played on the piano.
 * When you finish the quest, Larry does the old dance emote.
 * When you talk to Larry in the zoo after making the suit and right before testing it for the first time, Larry says he was saved by a "old man" which the player refers to "Wise old man". This may be a reference to the "Wise old man in Draynor Village.
 * Penguins live in the South Pole, while polar bears live in the North Pole. Both of these areas are very cold, while the penguins and the polar bears are rivals. This is was probably another reason why the quest was named "Cold War".