Cold War

Penguin Spotting
Speak to Larry at the southern entrance of the Ardougne Zoo. He's a bit paranoid about penguins and hopes to build a lookout to observe them, and wants you to help him as the penguins already recognize his scent. Larry instructs you to collect 10 oak planks and 10 steel nails for building the lookout.

When you have collected the items, head back to Larry at the zoo to depart for the Iceberg. He can also be found on a pier north-west of the Keldagrim entrance in Rellekka (Fairy ring code DKS, Lyre Teleport, Polar eagle ride, Teleport to house (if your house is in Rellekka), or Camelot Teleport can be used to reach the pier).

Hello World
Upon arrival on the iceberg, look for a firm snow patch next to Larry. Build the bird hide structure here by using an oak plank on the patch. Click on the lookout again and you will be prompted to cover it in snow using a spade. When the snowy bird hide is ready, speak to Larry.

You see a rather strange cut scene, but it is important to keep note of the emotes that the penguin does as it shows a penguin greeting code that is unique for every player. If you do not keep note of these emotes, you can talk to Larry on the Iceberg to observe the penguins again. There are 8 different penguin emotes in all, similar to the normal character emotes, and the greeting will consist of three of those. If you need to see the greeting again, click "Enter Snowy Bird Hide" to watch it again.

After the cut scene, speak to Larry and suggest to him that the behaviour of the penguins in the cut scene was suspicious. He insists that you move on to the docks to prevent eavesdropping. Return to the dock and speak to Larry again; now here's where things get strange. Larry wants you to spy on the penguins by creating a penguin clockwork suit. He gives you a book filled with instructions on how to make one.

Clockwork Penguin
To make a clockwork suit:
 * 1) Collect a regular wood plank, a piece of silk, and a steel bar.
 * 2) Use a Crafting table 3 to make a clockwork mechanism.
 * 3) Then, use the crafting table again and select clockwork toy, then select Clockwork penguin to make a clockwork suit.

Note: If you haven't already made a Crafting Table 3 in your house, you will need 4 oak planks, 3 molten glass and a workshop in your house, along with 34 Construction, using boosts if required. You need to create the crafting table 1 with the planks, and then upgrade it to a level 3 using the molten glass. A friend's house can be used, but it shouldn't be too hard to make your own table.

Return to Larry at the Rellekka dock or Ardougne Zoo (recommended) after finishing the suit. Jointly return to the Iceberg to test the suit out. After returning, you see that the lookout has been completely destroyed and that all the penguins are missing. Speak to Larry and, no surprise, he blames the penguins. Now, since there are no penguins, it appears impossible to test the suit. However, you — the clever adventurer — suggest Larry that you test the suit on the penguins at the zoo. Larry kindly assists with a teleport back to Ardougne.

Suit Up!
Free your hands and cape and talk to Larry. He casts a magic spell, causing the player to shrink and enter the penguin suit! Now to test out the disguise. Head into the penguin enclosure and talk to the penguin who is really an undercover KGP agent. He will be the only penguin with a "talk" option. Use the emote sequence that the earlier cutscene showed. If you cannot remember, or did not write down the emote sequence, you must go by trial and error until you get it right.

Fortunately, the agent responds. Now apparently, penguins are trying to learn to fly and escape from Ardougne Zoo. The penguin gives you a mission report to return to the outpost and asks you to also speak to the penguins in Lumbridge.

Exit the enclosure and speak to Larry to get out of the suit. When you tell him about the conversation with the penguin agent, Larry ponders as to how the penguins could be hiding in Lumbridge. You now need to track down the agents in Lumbridge, and Larry will catch up with you later.



Incognito
Those of you who have a keen eye may already know where the penguin operatives are. If not, however, head to Farmer Fred's sheep pasture where you find Larry; use the 'tuxedo-time' option with him. Now head off inside the pen and locate a sheep with flippers.

Before speaking to them, perform the secret greeting. Once you have done the greeting, the penguins still don't speak to you, demanding the secret phrase and also angry at attempting to blow their cover. Speak to Larry and he helps you both return to Ardougne Zoo.

Re-tuxedo before entering the penguin enclosure and speak to the penguin again. However, he does not give you the phrase. Speak to Larry and he suggests you two ways to convince the penguin to provide the secret phrase:
 * A raw cod, the penguins favourite food.
 * Charm the agent using a ring of Charos (a), a ring with powerful magic properties. You do not get the normal (Charm) option, the penguin simply provides the phrase.

When you have either the raw cod in your inventory or are wearing the ring, talk to the penguin in the Zoo and he tells you that the secret phrase is "Do not trust the walrus".

Intelligence
Return to Lumbridge and go to Farmer Fred's sheep pen and penguin suit up! Now the penguins tell you to talk to Farmer Fred to see if he's an undercover agent for the humans. Speak to Farmer Fred about penguins and use either the bully option or warn option; both work.

When you are done talking to Fred, return and speak with the penguin again. Pick either option in the conversation with the penguins and they give you the location of the outpost; it is on the Iceberg you visited earlier under what appears to be an avalanche. They also give you the password "cabbage".

Before traveling to the iceberg, you need to bring the following items. Make sure you bring ALL of them, or when you leave to get what you forgot, you will actually have to go all the way to Larry's boat in Rellekka to get back to the iceberg.
 * Food to avoid being killed during the upcoming agility course
 * 5 Feathers
 * 1 Swamp tar
 * Both mission reports
 * Clockwork suit
 * Mahogany plank
 * Soft leather
 * Cowbell

Surprise, Surprise
Speak to Larry to teleport to the iceberg. Wear the penguin disguise again and head north-west until you see a KGP agent. Use the emote greeting, then tell him the password. He then asks you for an ID, but guess what, nobody told you about one!

Now speak to Noodle. He's the black-market merchant near the KGP agent. He'll trade you a Kgp id card and a report for one swamp tar and five feathers. Exchange the materials with Noodle for the ID and another mission report. Speak to the KGP agent, and he'll let you through. "Investigate" the avalanche behind him to enter the outpost.

Once inside, go into the first room on the left and de-brief the KGP agent. He will take all 3 mission reports from you and tell you to move on through the door at the west end of the room. Head up the corridor, and go through the door at the end.

Once through the door, the camera pans showing a penguin army! Suddenly, you seem to realise their intentions are a little more devious than just flying! If you speak with the Army Commander, he tells you the penguins are "Getting ready for the invasion." Follow the signs with arrows to the agility course, and when the path ends at the checkerboard starting line, click it to start the agility course.

Agility Course
If you run out of food any time and do not wish to risk losing your items, you could un-equip the penguin suit, resulting in being caught and stunned, but otherwise returned to where Larry is on the iceberg.


 * 1) Climb down the steps and into the water.
 * 2) Avoid the moving ice in the water.
 * 3) Climb the stepping stone at the end.
 * 4) Jump across the next stones reach an ice platform.
 * 5) After you manage to cross, continue on the path until you come to a shelf with icicles on it. Use the tread softly option to get across. You have to repeat this several times at each shelf. If you fail, you will be hit taking a small amount of damage.
 * 6) Next, you have to climb up the ice. This can be very annoying, as you take 20 life points each time you fail, and the failure rate is surprisingly high. If you have only the minimal agility — level 30, for example — a small amount of food may help.
 * 7) After that, you have a small cutscene of you sliding down a hill.

Speak to the agility instructor, and you are done with the agility arena and free to go wherever you wish in the lair.

'Berg Bards
Return to Larry and tell him what you've seen. He tells you that according to his new research, there is a secret room deep inside the glacier, where he thinks all the war plans are being made. Have Larry put you back into the suit and return to the outpost but instead of turning left this time head straight up till you come to massive doors. Ask the KGP agent in the little control room to the left of the doors to let you in. He says his orders are to let no one go through the doors.

Head back down the hallway and enter the room with Ping and Pong to the east. They represent penguin rebels and ask you for a cowbell and set of penguin bongos to replace their outdated musical instruments, as they need to make a new song.

Return to Larry and ask him how to get a cowbell and some bongos; he suggests you steal the cow bell from a cow and make the penguin bongos from mahogany and soft leather. Use your soft leather on a mahogany plank to create penguin bongos.

Head back to Ping and Pong and provide them with the bongos and cowbells. You see a cutscene where the two penguins play a song, producing enough sound to distract the guard at the control room. While the guard is distracted, operate the control panel where the KGP agent used to be standing to open the door. The war room is to the north-east. Enter.

Conclusive Evidence


You see a cut scene of the penguins planning to take over RuneScape! Sadly, the penguins have set up a magical device which reveals any intruders inside the war room. The penguins in the room take your suit, and you are teleported to a cage filled with Icelords. They are level 51 and easy to kill. You may need to kill 1-2 before you can leave. So if your level is awfully low or have no armour bring three or four lobsters. The Icelords can range as well, so watch out.

If you teleport out and return to Larry on the iceberg, you will be re-caught and have to fight and kill an icelord again.

Exit the cage through the fence door made of ice, and then exit through a chasm east of the Icelord cage. Talk to Larry for a final time to finish the quest.

Reward



 * 1 Quest point
 * 2000 Experience
 * 5000 Experience
 * 1500 Experience
 * Ability to make the penguin suit. To enter the suit again you must talk to Larry again at the zoo, pier, farm or iceberg.
 * Ability to use the Penguin Agility Course
 * Players can also steal more cowbells and make more bongos. A player can play the cowbells or the bongos if in a penguin suit.
 * Ability to contact Larry through the NPC Contact spell.
 * When playing Penguin Hide and Seek, you will receive 2 points for some penguins.
 * 2 extra spins on the Squeal of Fortune

Music unlocked

 * Espionage
 * Have an Ice Day

Required for completing
Completion of Cold War is required for the following:


 * Hunt for Red Raktuber

The concept
The concept of this quest is a parody of the real-life Cold War, a period of quiet hostility between the United States (with other Western Powers such as the United Kingdom) and the Soviet Union for over 40 years. Apart from the quest being named after it, the following details from the quest are references to this historical event:


 * The KGP is strikingly and amusingly similar to the KGB which was the Soviet secret police during the Soviet era.
 * The penguins refer to their home as "the motherland", which is a label very often used to describe the Soviet Union.
 * The term "Comrade" is a translation of tovarisch, a Russian term for a travel or business companion that broadened to mean "friend" or "ally" in left-wing circles. In Russia and some ex-Soviet countries, common usage eventually turned the word into one that can also be used in a manner similar to "Mister". It also means "acquaintance".
 * "Palingrad" sounds similar to the Russian cities Stalingrad (now Volgograd) and Leningrad (Today known as Saint Petersburg).
 * Russian cosmonauts wore penguin (space) suits.
 * The posters in the penguin outpost are a reference to patriotic murals often found in communist countries.
 * The giant penguin seen at the end of the quest may possibly be a reference to ICBM missiles that were possessed by the Soviet Union during the real-life Cold War. It may also be a reference to the giant statue of the "Motherland" built by the USSR to commemorate the Battle of Stalingrad.

Other references
Likewise, if you are male, the operative will be skeptical because your card says that your name is Peach, to which your character reply that it was either that or pear.
 * It is thought that the penguin is creator, Andrew Gower's, favourite animal.
 * When asking the penguin for the secret phrase, there is an option to say "Is it Rumpelstiltskin?" Rumpelstiltskin is a mythical creature who takes children away from mothers. In the traditional story, a queen must guess his name in order to keep her child.
 * Ping says "We need more cowbell", a reference to the More cowbell comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live
 * When Noodle asks you for the swamp tar and feathers, this is a reference to the past torturing called "Tar and Feathering", where a person would be coated with tar and then covered in feathers.
 * Examining the trumpet near Ping and Pong gives the text "Miles Davis is looking for this...". Miles Davis (Miles Dewey Davis III) was a renowned was an American trumpeter, band leader, and composer and was widely considered one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century. The reference illustrates that the creators of RuneScape have some musical taste beyond the modern.
 * Examine the Piano and it says "I only know Chopsticks" this is a reference to the widely known circus tune, chopsticks, played on the piano.
 * When you're about to investigate Fred the Farmer, Larry says "So you'll be a human, pretending to be a penguin, pretending to be a human." and you reply "Curiouser and curiouser!", an Alice in Wonderland reference.
 * After discovering the bird hide has been destroyed, you can select "I don't think it was the penguins", using the idea that you can't tell by the tracks. Larry will reply "Well of course you can't make out tracks. Penguins walk single file to hide their numbers." This is a reference to Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope when Obi-Wan tells Luke that the Tusken Raiders could not have killed the Jawas.
 * If you talk to the KGP Interrogator, he will reply, "Move along, move along." This is a reference to Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope when Obi-Wan and Luke are being checked by stormtroopers as they enter Mos Eisley.
 * When you first enter the penguin cage in Ardougne, the penguin you talk to says "blast them [the humans] and their thumbs." This is a reference to the movie Madagascar.
 * When first entering the penguin lair and talk to the KGP agent, the agent will say: "Did you really get launched out of a cannon? It seems quite risky." To which the player responds: "It wasn't too bad, I was wearing a helmet at the time." which is referring to the Between a Rock... quest, where the player wears a Gold helmet and gets launched out of a Dwarf multicannon.
 * If you are female and you show the penguin operative your ID card, he will be a bit skeptical as the card says your name is Pablo. Your female character will reply, "Hippy parents, sir. They had weird ideas about names."
 * When your player informs Larry that the penguin in Lumbridge will not talk to them, the player uses the phrase "These penguins are crazy!". This is a play on the phrase used frequently by the character Obelix in the French comic series The Adventures of Asterix and Obelix, "These Romans are crazy!".
 * The song Have an Icy Day, which is unlocked during the quest may be a reference to the Bon Jovi song: Have a Nice Day.

Trivia

 * Upon telling Larry what was in the penguin war room, he will perform the old dance emote.