Postie Pete



Postie Pete is a non-player character who consists of a skull. He is RuneScape ' s only known postman. He delivers all of the Postbag from the Hedge letters to their destinations, and ventures into whatever dangerous places he must to get there - although he can never be seen to do this in-game, preferring instead to pop up around locations within RuneScape. A Postbag from the Hedge confirmed the existence of his two brothers, Party Pete and Pirate Pete. Also, while talking to Parrot Pete, he mentions him also being his brother.

He can speak over 1,000 languages including Wyvern, and usually tells a rather weak joke. According to Baba Yaga, Postie Pete's Crafting level is 1. However, this is debatable as in a letter's response, he completed the Lost City quest, which requires level 31 Crafting. Lanthus also says to Postie Pete that he should say hi to the kids for him, this showing that he must have children.

Before leaving the place he has spawned, he usually says: "Well, I should be heading off", a reference to his lack of torso.

Postie Pete's jokes
The joke: "Two birds are sitting on a perch. One says to the other 'Do you smell fish?'"

The meaning: A perch is a type of fish.

Q – What happens if you right-click and ‘Use’ your own belly?

A – Nothing intestine happens

The meaning: It is a joke on the common text in the game "Nothing Interesting Happens" when two objects are used on each other and there is no specific result.

Confirmed locations


Postie Pete can be found at the following locations:
 * Castle Wars lobby
 * Party Pete's Party Room
 * Near Pirate Pete at Port Phasmatys
 * Ardougne Zoo
 * Varrock Palace Library
 * Falador East Bank
 * The Laughing Miner, a bar in east Keldagrim
 * Bandit Camp (Wilderness)
 * The Ardougne Church
 * Ice Mountain, near the Oracle
 * Phantuwti Fanstuwi Farsight's house in Seers' village

Interaction with players
Postie Pete will stop and talk with players if they speak with him. What he says depends on the location they encounter him at.

If a player tries to speak to him as he is leaving, they will receive a message that says, "Postie Pete is preparing to teleport somewhere else, distracting him could have some terrible side effects."

However, if a player is already speaking to Postie Pete when he teleports away, the conversation will not be interrupted, and the player will turn to face his new location, giving them a clue as to where he has gone.

Postie Pete has given numerous forms of possible updates. One such conversation goes: Player: "Hey postie pete how's it going?" Postie Pete: "I was just trying to get some wise words of wisdom from the oracle, You know, she's been here a long time" Player: "Yes, I thought as much, what did she say?" Postie Pete: "First she said, I am the oracle when I speak, let no dog bark!" Player: "I see and then what?" Postie Pete: "I didn't know she was familiar with the words of shakespeare, et tu brute" Player: "And then?" Postie Pete: "Well then she started pointing to Ardougne and rambling on about betrayal!"

Also, he can be seen in the bandit camp where he talks to Notterazzo, the general store owner, about their plan and how it is running along smoothly(?).

When Pete first arives at an area, he has a conversation with another npc from the area, usualy another pete. Here are a couple of his conversations:

The following is a conversation between Postie and Pirate Pete:

Postie Pete: Anyone Got post? Postie Pete: Hey Pete. Any news from the fleet? Pirate Pete: No yo ho bruv. Pirate Pete: ’Tis all quiet on the eastern front. Postie Pete: Good good. Postie Pete: Well you know what to do if something goes wrong. Pirate Pete: Aye, that I do, bruv. Pirate Pete: Holler like a bosun without a bottle. Postie Pete: That’s it brother, and we’ll come a running!

The following is a conversation between Postie and Reldo the librarian:

Postie Pete: Anyone Got post? Postie Pete: Reldo, have you found that book I was looking for yet?? Reldo: No, not yet… but I know I’ve seen it somewhere…? Reldo: …come back later? Postie Pete: Sure, no problems. See you later.? Reldo: Bye! Say hi to the other Petes for me.? Postie Pete: Will do. Farewell!

The following is a conversation between Postie and Party Pete:

Postie Pete: Anyone Got post? Postie Pete: Hey Bro, how’s the party business? Party Pete: Great! Thanks! Party Pete: Celebrating weddings and drop parties… Party Pete: …and getting paid for it! Postie Pete: Nice. Well I’m here to talk to some white knights. Party Pete: Want to take some cake with you? Postie Pete: No thanks, I’m still dieting. Postie Pete: Just seafood for me.

Trivia

 * It is possible that he is a spy or a scout for the Imperial Guard of Asgarnia because of the conversation players can have with him while at the bandit camp, and the conversation he has with Party Pete: "I'm here to see some white knights."
 * He also mentions Parroty Pete is his brother.
 * While with the oracle he mentions "et tu brute" with the oracles reaction being "pointing to Ardougne and rambling on about betrayal!" possible clue from Jagex about an upcoming quest with the Sinclairs killing King Lathas for power. This could also already of happened during the events of regicide with the death of King Tyras thus giving Lathas full power over Kandarin.