Cold War

Penguin spotting

 * 1) Speak to Larry at the south entrance of the Ardougne Zoo. He's a bit nutty about penguins and hopes to build a lookout to observe them, and he wants you to help. His instructions are to collect for him 10 oak planks, 10 steel nails, a hammer, and a spade.
 * 2) Finished birdie lookout.PNG you have collected the items, head back to Larry at the zoo to depart for the Iceberg. He can also be found on a pier north-west of the Keldagrim entrance in Rellekka, though it provokes the same conversation as talking to him at the zoo (Fairy ring code DKS, Lyre Teleport, Polar eagle ride, Teleport to house (if your house is in Rellekka), or Camelot Teleport can be used to reach the pier). Upon arrival, look for a firm snow patch next to the teleport spot. Build the bird hide structure here by using an oak plank on the patch. Then use a spade on the lookout or dig next to it to cover it in snow.
 * 3) When the snowy bird hide is ready, speak to Larry. You see a rather strange cut scene, but it is important to keep note of the emotes the penguin does, as it shows the emote greeting code that is unique for every player. There are 8 different Penguin emotes in all, similar to the normal character emotes, and the greeting will consist of three of those. If you need to see them again, click "Enter Snowy Bird Hide" to watch the cut scene again. After the cut scene, speak to Larry and suggest to him that the behaviour of the penguins in the cut scene was suspicious.
 * 4) Return to the dock and speak to Larry again; now here's where things get strange. Larry requests that you now make a clockwork suit, which you will use to spy on the penguins. He gives you a book filled with instructions.Penguin Emotes.png

Making A Clockwork Suit
NOTE: If the option to make a Clockwork toy or penguin does not appear with all items in inventory, you need to either upgrade your bench or use a friend's house.
 * 1) Collect a regular wood plank (the games necklace teleport is handy here, just teleport to Barbarian Outpost and head east a bit to find some planks), a piece of silk, and a steel bar or a clockwork.
 * 2) Use the Crafting table 3 at your house or a friend's to make a clockwork mechanism.
 * 3) Then, use the Crafting Table 3 and select clockwork toy, then select Clockwork penguin to make a clockwork suit.

Back To The Iceberg

 * 1) Return to Larry at the Rellekka dock or Ardougne Zoo (recommended) after finishing the suit. Jointly return to the Iceberg to test it out.
 * 2) After returning, you see that lookout has been completely destroyed and that all the penguins are missing. Speak to Larry, and to no surprise he blames the penguins. Now, since there are no penguins, it appears impossible to test the suit. However, you—the clever adventurer—suggest to Larry that you test the suit on the penguins at the zoo. Larry kindly assists with a teleport back to Ardougne.

Meet The Penguins

 * 1) Free your hands and cape and talk to Larry. He casts a magic spell. The magic causes a player to shrink and enter the penguin suit! Now test out the disguise. Head into the penguin enclosure and talk to the penguin which is really an undercover KGP agent. He will be the only penguin with a "talk" option. Use the emote sequence that the earlier cutscene showed. (NOTE: If you do not know your sequence, you can try each option until you come up with the correct combination. You will need to do each emote twice before doing the next emote. There is no penalty for failing.) The penguin starts talking. Now apparently penguins are trying to learn to fly and escape from Ardougne Zoo. The penguin gives you a mission report to return to the outpost and ask you to speak to the penguins in Lumbridge.
 * 2) Speak to Larry, and you and Larry discuss where penguins could be in Lumbridge. Now head to Lumbridge.
 * 3) Farmer fred npc.png to those of you who have a keen eye you may already know where the penguin operatives are. If not, however, head to Farmer Fred's sheep pasture where you find Larry; use the tuxedo time option with him (don't forget to remove everything from your hands, and cape). Now head off and find a sheep with flippers ('The Thing' that Fred has mentioned in an earlier quest) and a talk option. An easier way to find the sheep with flippers is to look for the sheep that has ' 3 more options'. If it has 2 options, that is a false alarm. Before talking perform the secret greeting as shown in the previous step. Once you have done the greeting, the penguins still do not speak to you.
 * 4) Speak to Larry and he helps you both return to Ardougne Zoo. Then re-tuxedo before entering the penguin enclosure once more and speak to the penguin again. However, he does not give you the phrase (unless you wear a ring of charos) so speak to Larry again and he gives you two suggestions to bribe the penguin with:
 * 5) A raw cod, the penguins favourite food.
 * 6) Use a Ring of Charos (a), a ring with powerful magic properties. You do not get the normal (Charm) option, the penguin simply provides the phrase. (Make sure you are wielding the ring or it will not work)
 * 7) When you have either the raw cod in your inventory or are wearing the ring, talk to the penguin in the Zoo and he tells you that the secret phrase is Do not trust the walrus.

Intelligence
Note: Before traveling to the iceberg, you need to bring:
 * 1) Return to Lumbridge. Go to Farmer Fred's sheep pen and penguin suit up! Now the penguins tell you to talk to Farmer Fred to see if he's an undercover agent for the humans.
 * 2) Speak to Farmer Fred about penguins and use either the bully option or warn option. Both work, and when you are done talking to Fred, return and speak with the penguin again. Pick either option in the conversation with the penguins and then they give you the location of the outpost; It is on the Iceberg you visited earlier under what appears to be an avalanche. They also give you the password cabbage.
 * Food to avoid being killed during the upcoming agility course. (It is also recommended to avoid bringing anything valuble.)
 * 5 feathers.
 * 1 swamp tar.
 * Both mission reports
 * Penguin Suit
 * Mahogany Plank
 * Leather (soft)
 * Cowbell
 * 1) Speak to Larry and he teleports you to the iceberg. Suit up to penguin again and head north-west until seeing a KGP agent penguin and use the emote greeting, then tell him the password. He then asks you for an ID, but guess what, you don't have one!
 * 2) Now speak to Noodle. He's the black-market merchant close to the KGP agent. He'll trade you a Kgp id card and a report for one swamp tar and five feathers. (In Postbag From the Hedge, Noodle says they're for his mother, who is losing her feathers, but Larry sometimes tells you 42 ways that a penguin can torture you using a feather during boat trips and this might also be a reference to tar and feathering)
 * 3) Exchange the materials with Noodle for the ID and another mission report. Speak to the KGP agent, and he'll let you through, then left click on the avalanche and you should see the option investigate avalanche and you enter the outpost.
 * 4) Once inside, go into the second room on the left (the first door on the left is locked) and talk to the KGP agent there. He will take all 3 mission reports from you.
 * 5) Go through the door at the west end of the room, head up the corridor, and go through the door at the end to enter the agility course.
 * 6) Once you have gone through the door at the end of the corridor, you see a small cut scene showing a penguin army! Suddenly, you seem to realise their intentions are a little more devious than just flying! (If you speak with the Army Commander, he tells you the penguins are "Getting ready for the invasion.") Follow the signs with arrows to the agility course, and when the path ends at the checkerboard starting line, click it to start the agility course.

Agility course
'''NOTE: Bring Food! (Unless you are a very high agility level, i.e. 75+, if you are, disregard the rest.) You will get hurt a lot when crossing the ice! And don't bring valuable items if you don't bring food!'''
 * 1) Jump penguin Jump!.PNG down the steps and into the water.
 * 2) Avoid the moving ice in the water.
 * 3) Climb the stepping stone at the end.
 * 4) Jump to the next stepping stone.
 * 5) Jump to the 5 next stones. (If you fail you will take minor damage). And jump to the land again ( The click option can be found just to the bottom of the patch of ice on the landing to the left)
 * 6) After you manage to cross, continue on the path until you come to a shelf with icicles on it. Use the right-click tread softly option to get across. You have to repeat this several times at each shelf. If you fail you will be hit taking a small amount of damage.
 * 7) Next, you have to cross ice. This is a little annoying. You take 20 life points each time you fail. If you have only the minimal agility—level 30, for example—a small amount of food may help.
 * 8) After that, you have a small cutscene of you sliding down a hill.
 * 9) Speak to the agility instructor, and you are done with the agility arena and free to go wherever you wish in the lair.
 * Note: You may re-enter the agility course after completion of the quest if you have made another Penguin Suit.
 * You may want to bring at least three lobsters and an agility potion or two for this part as you will tend to get damaged while crossing the ice.
 * Note: Before, If you ran out of food any time and did not wish to risk losing items, you could un-equip the penguin suit (it's a cape) and you would be caught and stunned but otherwise returned to where Larry is on the iceberg. Now there is a note saying you need Larry's help to remove the suit.
 * Note: When crossing the ice, it is extremely difficult, but you can only proceed further when the ice is not sparkling. The shine travels from the top to the bottom in a very short time so you must make a strategy in order to not use all your food. If you have a lower agility level, you may get stuck here.

Discover the penguin plan
(Note: You may only travel back to the Iceberg by Larry who is close to the Keldagrim entrance north-east of Rellekka. You can get here by using the fairy ring DKS and run West).
 * 1) Return to Larry and tell him what you've seen. He tells you he needs you to find where they are making their war plans.
 * 2) Have Larry put you back into the suit and return to the outpost but instead of turning left this time head straight up till you come to massive doors. Ask the KGP agent in the little office to the left of the doors to let you in. He says his orders are to let no one go through the doors.
 * 3) Head back down the hallway and enter the room with Ping and Pong. They ask you for a cowbell and set of penguin bongos; you may not see the point but this will help later.
 * 4) Return to Larry and ask him how to get a cowbell and some bongos; he suggests you steal the cow bell from a cow and make the penguin Meeting_ping_and_pong.pngs from mahogany and soft leather. (Use soft leather on a mahogany plank.)
 * 5) Find a dairy cow and steal a cow bell. You can find a dairy cow at Rellekka. If you happen to be in Zanaris when attempting to steal it, you will have a short conversation with the cow before she actually gives you the bell.
 * 6) Go back to Ping and Pong and talk with them. You see a cutscene with the two penguins playing a song and then the guard entering the room. While the guard is distracted, operate the control panel where the KGP agent used to be standing to open the door. The war room is to the east. Enter.

Caught by Pescaling Pax
NOTE: If you teleport out and return to Larry on the iceberg, you will be recaught and have to fight and kill an icelord.
 * 1) Icelord.PNG see a cut scene of the penguins planning to take over RuneScape! The penguins in the room take your suit, and then you are teleported to a cage filled with Icelords. They are level 51 and easy to kill. You may need to kill a few before you can leave, although some people have only had to kill one. Others have had to kill two. So if your level is awfully low or have no armour bring three or four lobsters. The Icelords can range as well, so watch out. (Note: If you are a skiller, you only have to kill one. However, it gives 40 XP in Attack. Rings of Recoil can be used for the battle, but you need to do at least 1 damage.) # Exit the cage through the fence door made of ice, and then exit though a chasm east of the Icelord cage.
 * 2) Talk to Larry for a final time to finish the quest.

Reward



 * 1 Quest point
 * 2000 Experience
 * 5000 Experience
 * 1500 Experience
 * Ability to make the penguin suit. To enter the suit again you must talk to Larry again at the zoo, pier, farm or iceberg.
 * Ability to use the Penguin Agility Course
 * Players can also steal more cowbells and make more bongos. A player can play the cowbells or the bongos if in a penguin suit.
 * Ability to contact Larry through the NPC Contact spell.
 * When playing Penguin Hide and Seek, you will receive 2 points for some penguins.

Music unlocked

 * Espionage
 * Have an Ice Day

The concept
The concept of this quest is a parody of the real-life Cold War, a period of quiet hostility between the United States (with other Western Powers such as the United Kingdom) and the Soviet Union for over 40 years. Apart from the quest being named after it, the following details from the quest are references to this historical event:


 * The KGP is strikingly and amusingly similar to the KGB which was the Soviet secret police during the Soviet era.
 * The penguins refer to their home as "the motherland", which is a label very often used to describe the Soviet Union
 * The term "Comrade" is a translation of tovarisch, a Russian term for a travel or business companion that broadened to mean "friend" or "ally" in left-wing circles. In Russia and some ex-Soviet countries, common usage eventually turned the word into one that can also be used in a manner similar to "Mister". It also means "acquaintance".
 * "Palingrad" sounds similar to the Russian cities Stalingrad (now Volgograd) and Leningrad (Today named Saint Petersburg). It most likely is not a reference to American politician Sarah Palin, as Palin did not become famous until over a year after the quest was released; instead it may refer to Michael Palin.
 * Russian cosmonauts wore penguin (space) suits.
 * The posters in the penguin outpost are a reference to patriotic murals often found in communist countries.
 * The giant penguin seen at the end of the quest may possibly be a reference to ICBM missiles that were possessed by the Soviet Union during the real-life Cold War. It may also be a reference to the giant statue of the "Motherland" built by the USSR to commemorate the Battle of Stalingrad.

Other references

 * It is thought that the penguin is creator, Andrew Gower's, favourite animal.
 * When asking the penguin for the secret phrase, there is an option to say "Is it Rumpelstiltskin?" Rumpelstiltskin is a mythological creature who takes children away from mothers. In the traditional story, a queen must guess his name in order to keep her child.
 * Ping says "We need more cowbell", a reference to the More cowbell comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live
 * When Noodle asks you for the swamp tar and feathers, this is a reference to the past torturing called "Tar and Feathering", which was a person would be covered in hot tar and then covered in feathers.
 * Examining the trumpet near Ping and Pong gives the text "Miles Davis is looking for this...". Miles Davis (Miles Dewey Davis III) was a renowned was an American trumpeter, Band leader, and Composer and was widely considered one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century. The reference illustrates that the creators of Runescape have some musical taste beyond the modern.
 * Examine the Piano and it says "I only know Chopsticks" this is a reference to the widely known circus tune, chopsticks, played on the piano.
 * When you're about to investigate Fred the Farmer, Larry says "So you'll be a human, pretending to be a penguin, pretending to be a human" and you reply "Curiouser and curiouser!", an Alice in Wonderland reference.
 * After discovering the bird hide has been destroyed, you can select "I don't think it was the penguins", using the idea that you can't tell by the tracks. Larry will reply "Well of course you can't make out tracks. Penguins walk single file to hide their numbers." This is a reference to Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope when Obi-Wan tells Luke that the Tusken Raiders could not have killed the Jawas.
 * If you talk to the KGP Interrogator, he will reply, "Move along, move along." This is a reference to Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope when Obi-Wan and Luke are being checked by stormtroopers as they enter Mos Eisley.
 * When you first enter the penguin cage in Ardougne, the penguin you talk to says "blast them [the humans] and their thumbs." This is a reference to the movie Madagascar.
 * When first entering the penguin lair and talk to the KGP agent, the agent will say: "Did you really get launched out of a cannon? It seems quiet risky." To which the player responds: "It wasn't too bad, I was wearing a helmet at the time." referring to Between a Rock... where the player wears a Gold helmet and gets launched out of a Dwarf multicannon.