Cold War

Penguin spotting

 * 1) Speak to Larry at the south entrance of the Ardougne Zoo. He's a bit nutty about penguins and hopes to build a lookout to observe them, and he wants you to help. His instructions are to collect for him 10 oak planks, 10 steel nails, a hammer, and a spade.
 * 2) [[Image:Finished_birdie_lookout.PNG|right|thumb|129px|The finished lookout.]]When you have collected the items, head back to Larry at the zoo to depart for the Iceberg. You can also find him at a pier north-west of the Keldagrim entrance, though it doesn't make any difference than talking to him at the zoo (Fairy ring code DKS, Lyre Teleport, Polar eagle ride or Camelot Teleport can be used to reach there). Upon arrival, there is a firm snow patch next to the landing spot. Build the lookout here by using an oak plank on the patch. Then use a spade on the lookout to cover it in snow.
 * 3) When the lookout is ready, speak to Larry. This will be followed by a rather strange cut scene, but is important to keep note of the emotes the penguin does, as it shows the emote greeting code that is unique for every player. There are 8 different Penguin emotes in all, similar to the normal character emotes, and the greeting will consist of three of those.  If you need to see them again, click "Use Snowy Bird Hide" to watch the cut scene again.  After the cut scene speak to Larry and suggest to him that the behaviour of the penguins in the cut scene was suspicious.
 * 4) Return to the dock and speak to Larry again; now here's where things get strange. Larry requests to now design a clockwork suit, which will be used to spy on the penguins. He gives a book filled with instructions.

Making A Clockwork Suit

 * 1) Collect a regular wood plank (the games necklace teleport is handy here, just teleport to Barbarian Outpost and head east a bit to find some planks), a piece of silk, a steel bar and a clockwork.
 * 2) Use the Crafting table 3 at your house or someone else's. Select Clockwork mechanism with the steel bar in your inventory.
 * 3) Then use the option clockwork toy and select clockwork penguin to make a clockwork suit.

Back To The Iceberg

 * 1) Return to Larry at the Rellekka dock or Ardougne Zoo (recommended) after finishing the suit. Jointly return to the Iceberg to test it out.
 * 2) After returning, it appears that the lookout has been completely destroyed and that all the penguins are missing. Speak to Larry, and to no surprise he will blame the penguins. Now, since there are no penguins, it appears impossible to test the suit. However, you - the clever adventurer - suggest to Larry to test the suit on the penguins at the zoo. Larry will kindly assist with a teleport back to Ardougne Zoo.

Meet The Penguins

 * 1) Free your hands and cape and talk to Larry. He'll cast a magic spell. The magic causes a player to shrink and enter the penguin suit! Now test out the disguise. Head into the penguin enclosure and right click on the penguins until you find one with the talk option. Talk to that penguin and you will be forced to give him a greeting before he shall speak to you; this is different for each player. Use the emote sequence that the earlier cut scene showed. The penguin will start talking. Now apparently penguins are trying to learn to fly and escape from Ardougne Zoo. The penguin will give you a mission report to return to the outpost and ask you to speak to the penguins in Lumbridge.
 * 2) Speak to Larry and you and Larry will discuss where penguins could be in Lumbridge for a moment, now head to Lumbridge.
 * 3) [[Image:Odd.PNG|right|thumb|110px|The penguins in the sheep.]]Now to those of you who have a keen eye you may already know where the penguin operatives are, if not however head to Farmer Fred's sheep pasture where you will find Larry; use the tuxedo time option with him (don't forget to remove everything from your hands, and cape). Now head off and find a sheep with flippers and a talk option. Before talking perform the secret greeting as shown in the previous step. Now, once you have done the greeting, they still will not speak to you.
 * 4) Speak to Larry and he will help you both return to Ardougne Zoo. Then re-tuxedo before entering the penguin enclosure once more and speak to the penguin again. However, he will not give you the phrase, so speak to Larry again and he will give you two suggestions to bribe the penguin with:
 * 5) A raw cod, the penguins favourite food.
 * 6) Use a Ring of Charos (a), a ring with powerful magic properties. You will not get the normal (Charm) option, the penguin simply provides the phrase.
 * 7) When you have either the raw cod in your inventory or are wearing the ring, talk to the penguin in the Zoo and he will tell you that the secret phrase is Do Not Trust The Walrus.

Intelligence

 * 1) Return to Lumbridge. Go to Farmer Fred's sheep pen and penguin suit up! Now the penguins will tell you to talk to Farmer Fred to see if he's an undercover agent for the humans.
 * 2) Speak to Farmer Fred about penguins and use either the bully option or warn option. Both work, and when you are done talking to Fred, return and speak with the penguin again. Pick either option in the conversation with the penguin and then they will give you the location of the outpost, it is on the Iceberg you visited earlier under what appears to be an avalanche. They will also give you the password cabbage.
 * 3) Speak to Larry and he will teleport you to the iceberg. Suit up to penguin again and head north-west until seeing a KGP agent penguin and use the emote greeting, then tell him the password, and then he will ask you for an ID but guess what, you don't have one!
 * 4) Now speak to Noodle. He's the black market merchant close to the KGP agent. He'll trade you a Kgp id card and a report for one swamp tar and five feathers. (In Postbag From the Hedge, Noodle says they're for his mother, who is losing her feathers, but Larry sometimes tells you 42 ways that a penguin can torture you using a feather during boat trips.)
 * 5) Exchange the materials with Noodle for the ID and another mission report, speak to the KGP agent and he'll let you through, then left click on the avalanche and you should see the option use avalanche and you will enter the outpost.
 * 6) Once inside go into the first room on the left and talk to the KGP agent there, once done head into the corridor on the other side of the room you will now have to complete an agility course.
 * 7) Once you have exited the door at the end of the corridor you shall see a small cut scene showing a penguin army! Suddenly you seem to realise their intentions are a little more devious than just flying! Follow the signs with arrows to the agility course, and when the path ends just past some blue crates, turn past the crates to start the agility course.

Agility course

 * 1) [[Image:Jump_penguin_Jump!.PNG|right|thumb|97px|Jump, I say! Jump!]]Climb down the steps and into the water.
 * 2) Avoid the moving ice in the water.
 * 3) Climb the stepping stone at the end.
 * 4) Jump to the next stepping stone.
 * 5) Jump to the 5 next stones. (If you fail you will take minor damage). And jump to the land again (hard to find click option).
 * 6) After you manage to cross continue on the path until you come to a shelf with icicles on it. Use the right-click tread softly option to get across. You will have to repeat this several times at each shelf. If you fail you will be hit taking a small damage.
 * 7) Next you will have to cross ice, this is a little annoying. You will take 2 damage each time you fail. If you have only the minimal agility, level 30, a small amount of food may help.
 * 8) After that you will have a small cut scene of you sliding down a hill.
 * 9) Speak to the agility instructor and you are done with the agility arena and free to go wherever you wish in the lair.
 * Note: You may re-enter the Agility course after completion of the quest if you have made another Penguin Suit.
 * You may want to bring at least three lobsters and an agility potion or two for this part as you will tend to get damaged while crossing the ice.
 * Note: If you run out of food anytime, and do not wish to risk losing items, you can un-equip the penguin suit (it's a cape) and you will be caught and stunned but otherwise returned to where larry is on the iceberg.

Discover the penguin plan
(Important note: You may only travel back to the Iceberg by Larry who is close to the Keldagrim entrance north-east of Relleka)
 * 1) Return to Larry and tell him about the army you saw! He will tell you he needs you to find where they are making their war plans.
 * 2) Return to the outpost but instead of turning left this time head right up till you come to massive doors. Ask the KGP agent in the little office right next to the doors to let you in. He will ask you for your ID. When he looks at it, he says you do not have enough access.
 * 3) Head back down the hallway and enter the room with Ping & Pong. They will ask you for a cowbell and set of penguin bongos; you may not see the point but this will help later.
 * 4) Return to Larry and ask him how to get a cowbell and some bongos; he will suggest you steal the cow bell from a cow and make the penguin bongos from mahogany and soft leather. (Use soft leather on mahogany plank).
 * 5) Find a dairy cow and steal a cow bell. If you happen to be in Zanaris when attempting to steal it a short conversation will follow and the cow actually gives you the bell.
 * 6) Go back to Ping and Pong.  After a cut scene the guard will be distracted; go to war room. Use the controls where the KGP used to be standing to open the door. The war room is to the east.  Enter.

Caught by Pescaling Pax

 * 1) [[Image:Icelord.PNG|right|thumb|97px|The icelord, be careful, they can use both ranged and melee.]]You will see a cut scene of the penguins planning to take over RuneScape! The penguins in the room will take your suit and then you'll be teleported to a cage filled with Icelords. They are level 51 and easy to kill. You may need to kill a few before you can leave, although some people have only had to kill one. Others have had to kill two.  So if your level is awfully low or have no armour bring three or four lobsters.  The Icelords can range as well, so watch out.
 * Note:There is something that prevents casting combat spells. You will need to use melee or ranged to defeat the Icelords.
 * 1) Exit the cage through the fence door made of ice, then exit though a chasm east of the Icelord cage.
 * 2) Talk to Larry for a final time to finish the quest.

Reward



 * 1 Quest point
 * 2000 Crafting experience
 * 5000 Agility experience
 * 1500 Construction experience
 * Ability to make the penguin suit. To enter the suit again you must talk to Larry again at the zoo, pier or iceberg.
 * Ability to use the Penguin Agility Course
 * Players can also steal more cowbells and make more bongos. A player can play the cowbells or the bongos if in a penguin suit.
 * Ability to contact Larry through the NPC Contact spell.
 * When playing Penguin Hide and Seek, you will receive 2 points for some penguins.

Music
Music tracks unlocked:


 * Espionage
 * Have an Ice Day

The concept
The concept of this quest seems to be a parody of the real-life Cold War, a period of quiet hostility between the United States (with other Western Powers such as the United Kingdom) and the Soviet Union for over 40 years. Apart from the quest being named after it, there is the following evidence for this:
 * The KGP is strikingly similar to the KGB which is the abbreviation (Russian) for Committee for State Security.
 * The penguins refer to their home as "the motherland", which is a label very often used to describe the Soviet Union
 * The term "Comrade" is a translation of tovarisch, a Russian term for a travel or business companion that broadened to mean "friend" or "ally" in left-wing circles. In Russia and some ex-Soviet countries, common usage eventually turned the word into one that can also be used in a manner similar to "Mister".
 * "Palingrad" sounds similar to the Russian cities Stalingrad and Leningrad.
 * Russian cosmonauts wore penguin (space) suits.
 * The posters in the penguin outpost are a reference to patriotic murals often found in communist countries.

Other references

 * See also: Cultural references


 * Ping and Pong talk like beatniks who played Bongo drums, also like people on cannibis.
 * Ping and Pong may also be a play on words of Cheech and Chong - a pair of hippies portrayed in a series of movies from the late '70s through the '80s.
 * Ping and Pong are also similar to the names of two penguins from the plasticine animated show " Pingu", with the penguins referred to "Pingu" and his friend "Pongi".
 * Ping and Pong may also refer to the game of table tennis, as well as the classical computer/video game, both called 'Ping Pong'.
 * "Cabbage" was a substitute for offensive words in Runescape Classic
 * The penguin is creator Andrew Gower's favourite animal.citation needed
 * The song "Have an ice day" is a pun on "have a nice day" by Stereophonics
 * When asking the penguin for the secret phrase, there is an option to say "Is it Rumpelstiltskin?" Rumpelstiltskin is a mythological creature who takes children away from mothers.
 * Ping says "We need more cowbell" a reference to More cowbell a comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live
 * The Lumbridge penguins in sheep's costume are similar to The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
 * Noodles is a name sometimes given to a Macaroni Penguin.
 * The secret phrase - do not trust the walrus might be a reference to Lewis Carroll's The Walrus and the Carpenter. The walrus invites some oysters to join them in a walk along the beach, the two titular characters get hungry and eat all of the oysters.
 * John Lennon wrote a song I Am the Walrus and commented "It never dawned on me that Lewis Carroll was commenting on the capitalist and social system. ... the walrus was the bad guy in the story..."
 * Oingo Boingo is the name of a music band.
 * Larry's exclamations of "They're organized!" are a reference to Mr. Tweedy from the film Chicken Run.
 * Cold War is the 100th member's quest.
 * If the player has completed The Enlightened Journey or Between a Rock..., the player will suggest flying in a balloon or from a cannon, respectively. Note that these rigs are present in the Penguin base.
 * When this update was released, penguins and Ardougne Zoo had their graphics changed. This bit was unannounced.
 * The concept of penguin special operations may have originated with the DreamWorks Animation animated movie Madagascar.
 * The penguins of the army are Gentoo penguins, which leads its name to a Linux operating system flavour.
 * Examining the trumpet near Ping and Pong gives the text "Miles Davis is looking for this...".
 * The Quest also bears a slight resemblance to the Metal Gear Solid game series. The giant Penguin Mech in the end looks like a wooden version of Metal Gear.
 * Examining the KGP ID Card gives the text "So you can be a penguin too!" This is similar to the phrase "So you can be a big pig too!" which is said by Timon in The Lion King.

Monty Python

 * See: Monty Python


 * Michael Palin played Dr. Peaches Bartkowicz in a sketch about penguins on Monty Python's Flying Circus - A Book at Bedtime episode (episode 38). Peaches is seen looking up at a 66-foot high penguin similar to the final cut scene in the quest. The iceberg outpost named 'Palingrad' may be fusion of Michael's surname and Stalingrad.