|Release date||28 March 2011 (Update)|
The quest follows the pattern of its series, featuring humourous dialogue, story elements and scenes besides the continued struggle against the returned Rabid Jack and his crew of zombie pirates. In the quest, general surgeon Mi-Gor, who was last seen in The Great Brain Robbery, returns, this time with a new companion, Mechanical Murphy, who together fulfil the new orders of Jack. The intentions of Captain Donnie (who was last seen invading Braindeath Island in order to obtain large quantities of Braindeath 'rum') are also revealed during the quest, in the form of a dungeon featuring extremely aggressive monsters. The quest also features Bill Teach, who continues being the main protagonist.
Everyone loves getting mail, right? So, when a huge and mysterious package arrives for you at your house, you wouldn't think it to be the beginning of another madcap pirate adventure. Yet it is, and this one involves barrelchests, vengeful seagulls and more concussions than all previous pirate quests combined.
|Start point||player-owned house|
|Member requirement||Members only|
|Requirements||Skill requirements are not boostable unless marked with a [B] for boostable.
|Items required||Items from the tool belt are not listed unless they do not work or are not automatically added.|
|Enemies to defeat||general malpractitioners and 'rum'-pumped crabs, who hit high and are poisonous.|
An unexpected parcel
Go to your player-owned house portal, and attempt to enter your house. When you do so, Postie Pete will appear saying that he has delivered a package to your house and has stuck a note in the portal. Choose the "A Clockwork Syringe" option from your portal to retrieve the note. The note opens an interface* to begin the quest. Once you have started the quest, select the "A Clockwork Syringe" option once more to inspect the package that was delivered to your player-owned house.
*If the interface does NOT open, do not right-click on the house portal for the "A Clockwork Syringe" option. Just click on the portal, to bring up the selections.The package contains a level 98 Barrelchest Mk II which uses melee and ranged attacks in addition to draining the Constitution skill level. Do not investigate the package unless you are prepared for combat with this foe.
Dealing with the delivery
The Barrelchest Mk II uses melee and ranged attacks, mainly using melee attacks. If using protection or deflect prayers, it will only use the opposite attack style from the one being protected from. Every so often, the barrelchest will use a special attack, which is precluded by a blue glow and it saying "Prepare yerself!", that knocks you backwards and completely destroys surrounding areas of your house, except for walls. This means that it may also break any stairs, food sources, exit portals or altars you may wish to use. Anything destroyed during the fight will be repaired immediately after the fight though, so players do not need to worry about any sort of loss. The range of the attack is about ten squares.
This attack will additionally drain your constitution, lowering the maximum number of life points to which you can heal. A super restore potion may be used to replenish the drained levels, and it is recommended that you recover to your maximum Constitution level in order to face additional combat later in the quest.
Using a long-distance weapon along with Protect from Missiles or Deflect Missiles can prevent a majority of damage as players may then hide behind walls of their house when attacking the barrelchest. Additionally, although the barrelchest can break down walls when it uses its special attack, it cannot break undecorated walls. This method may be effectively employed using Ranged, Magic, or melee with a halberd.
A good method is to hide inside a chapel that is next to a open area, such as a garden or pet storage area. The trick is to have the barrelchest destroy the open area and then retreat into the chapel. You will be able to range through the window spaces safely, and the barrelchest will not be able to move at all nor attack you if you use protect from/deflect missiles. However, note that any ammo used will be lost at the end of the fight if it is not picked up before the barrelchest's health reaches 0.
Players who are killed by the barrelchest will appear immediately outside of their house portal without having lost any items.
Discovering the perpetrator
Once the barrelchest has been defeated, an estate agent will appear and inform you of the repairs that have been done to your house. He remarks that the repairs were covered by insurance as acts of zombo-mechanical piracy were added to the insurance policy to make the list of covered circumstances seem more appealing, although he did not think such a thing would actually happen. The agent will take the delivery note as proof and leave you to deal with the severed head.
After the estate agent has left, speak to the zombie head; all that remains of the original barrelchest. The head will refuse to divulge any information, so you must torture it until its stress level reaches a certain threshold. Use all five options when they are available, and the zombie's stress level will soon reach its maximum. The head will explain that he was sent by Rabid Jack to destroy you and that an army of more barrelchests are currently being built to launch a destructive wave on Mos Le'Harmless. When the zombie head refuses to reveal any more information, you take the head with you to Bill Teach and inform him of the turn of events, effectively annoying him using the fluff in the bottom of your bag, which gets into its nose. The head may be found in your house if lost.
Travel to Port Phasmatys and speak to Bill Teach in The Green Ghost pub or aboard his ship. Port Phasmatys may be quickly reached using an ectophial or using the fairy ring code ALQ. Players who do not have access to either method of transportation may charter a ship to the dock. Bill will tell you that something this important must be spoken of only in utmost privacy. He will direct you to Harpoon Joe's House of 'Rum' in Mos Le'Harmless.
Take Bill's ship from the dock in Port Phasmatys to Mos Le'Harmless and head to Harpoon Joe's pub, just north west from the bank. On your minimap, both pubs appear highlighted; you need to visit the northern of the two pubs. Sit in the chair in the corner of the room and ask Joe for a "Long Drop". When he asks if you're sure, tell him "Aye, drop me.", and he will drop you.
Bill Teach will be waiting for you in the basement of the pub. Talk to him and explain what happened in your player-owned house. When he asks for evidence, place the zombie head on the table. After a short discussion, he will hand you a teleport scroll and ask you to retrieve a twiblick night special from Captain Braindeath on Braindeath Island.
The Twiblick night special
Items recommended: Armour, a weapon, food, prayer potions, antipoison, and an emergency teleport
Exit the basement of the pub and use the teleport scroll's option to travel to Braindeath Island after preparing for combat. Note however that you will not be allowed to summon familiars or equip items to your helmet and cape slots for the next portion of the quest.
After arriving on Braindeath Island, speak to Captain Braindeath and ask him for the twiblick night special. He will ruefully inform you that several of his workers have recently gone missing. Offer to find out what became of them, and he will suggest you look near the dungeon entrance near the volcano. As the dungeon is submerged, Captain Braindeath will give you a diving apparatus and a fishbowl helmet if you do not have one with you.
If you die while in this dungeon, your grave will appear outside the dungeon.
With a diving apparatus and fishbowl helmet, head west then north past 50% Luke towards the volcano until you reach what appears to be an entrance to a resource dungeon. The monsters inside the dungeon attack using melee and Ranged and hit harder and more accurately than other monsters of similar levels. It may be advised to use Protect from Missiles in addition to a high melee defence bonus or Protect from Melee with a high ranged defence bonus.
Make sure you have the diving apparatus and fishbowl helmet equipped and enter the dungeon. The dungeon has three possible paths. Go down all three paths, each of which ends in a room with a door lockable from the inside. Head down each path and close the door to prevent further monsters from venturing inside. Kill any general malpractitioners in the room as they will interfere with your investigation of the workers. Once the general malpractitioners have been dealt with, the 'rum'-pumped crabs may be trapped behind obstacles. If you are unable to trap the crabs, quickly dispose of them, stabbing weapons are very effective, and investigate the worker's body to discover his name. Do this for each of the three paths.
The general malpractitioners attack using a poisonous Ranged attack and the 'rum'-pumped crabs use an accurate melee attack. The 'rum'-pumped crabs can be trapped behind various pillars, while the level 84 general malpractitioners range from quite a distance, throwing what appear to be exploding syringes. The general malpractitioners also repeatedly say "Taste some 'rum', little crab!" as they are ranging. The targeted crab receives an accuracy boost as well as an increase in attack speed. It is recommended that you kill the general malpractitioners first when clearing the rooms. Note that if you've completed As a First Resort, you can use the thermal bath to give you temporary immunity to poison such that you won't need to carry any antipoison if you move fast. Either way, you should be prepared to deal with the poison of the malpractitioners as it hits hard in an area where regular attacks are already highly accurate and will constantly chip away at your health.
Once you have discovered the name of the last worker, head back to Captain Braindeath with the news. Before the Captain hands over the Twiblick night special, he will force you to take a rigorous oath. After taking the oath, he will hand over the special, telling you that Bill Teach has the key to open it.
With the Twiblick night special in hand, teleport back to Mos Le'Harmless with the teleport scroll and head back to the basement in Joe's pub.
Getting into Bloodsplatter Isle
The most difficult combat is done and the next phase of the quest involves delivering the Twiblick Night Special to Bill in the basement. Teleport using the scroll to Mos Le'Harmless, return to the basement via the chair in the pub and talk to Bill. Bill will unlock the Twiblick Night Special, for the player to then open. After some dialogue, the player shall get to choose what to beautify the zombie head with. He then uses the chosen set of items to decorate the zombie head in order to get it to tell you where the barrelchests are being built. Return south to Bill's ship, the 'Adventurous', talk to him, and use the "A Clockwork Syringe" option to begin your travel.
Note: Bring good food because you will be occasionally attacked whilst wearing a special disguise.
Speak to Bill, and after some short dialogue barrelchests fire cannons at you, and so you are forced to find a way to the island yourself by building a Cannonball barrel-boat to launch you there.
After talking with Bill, he will tell you go to the lower parts of the ship to make the barrel boat. You need to go down the ladders to the ship's hold. There, pick up the hammer and tinder box, and open and search both the repair locker and gun locker. Items on your tool belt can be used here. Take a barrel from the barrel stack, as well as some gunpowder (at least 3) from the gunpowder barrel.
Next, use the gunpowder on the chain to flash-heat it. Then smith the chain and cannonball on the anvil. Lastly, use your chain-with-cannonball on the barrel. The cannonball-barrel boat is now ready.
Go back up the ladder to the main deck. Look on your mini map for the cannon closest to the arrow. It requires two gunpowders to fire you with your cannon-barrel boat. Now 'Take-The-Ride Cannon' to Bloodsplatter Isle.
Investigating Bloodsplatter Isle
When you arrive, investigate the Perch Rock. The seagull (Baron von Hattenkrapper), from Rocking Out will appear and will forgive you for what you did to him during Rocking Out. He wants to work with you to destroy the barrelchests, so that he can freely roam around the Isle. You must use your Summoning skill to steer him using the arrows in the control box (it may be easier to hide your chatbox whilst doing this if it's in the way). There are 5 barrelchest-MKs to drop bombs on around the island. Keeping your camera to the north will make this part easier.
Once you have killed them all, a cutscene occurs. Leave the Isle and swim to Bill Teach on his ship, and update him on the fate of the barrelchests on the Isle.
Ask Bill to take you back to Bloodsplatter Isle. You arrive at a dock, from which you can enter the factory compound to the east. Approach the yellow dots to the north of the factory to get caught and jailed.
Escape your cell and collect a surgical mask, roll of bandage, bundle of parts from the shelf (barrelchest part), and a barrel from the supply area just to the north.
Return to Bill by using the signalling point at the end of the dock where you arrived.
He will help you construct a barrelchest disguise, with which you can investigate and sabotage the operations, gathering evidence as you go. When you have the disguise, have Bill send you back to the island. Enter the compound and change into the barrelchest disguise.
There is a noticeboard within each of the 5 rooms from which the player must collect letters to complete the evidence file. In order to get the letters, the player must do various activities to distract or kill the guards in each room. You may be attacked by Grimterns, so bring some good food.
- Letter one: This is in the south-west room, the player must first subdue the Dis-orderly by sabotaging the gas canister to the south of the room. Once the laughing gas fills the room, 'tell-joke' to each of them and then brutalise each of them. After all the 3 Dis-orderly are dead, investigate the noticeboard.
- Letter two: Stun each of the Grimterns in the western-most room by using the cannon (right click option), then dispose of them one by one. The player can also take on all three of them at once. Investigate the noticeboard after killing them.
- Letter three: Simply talk to one of the Drunk zombies lying on the beds in the north-west room to find they are extremely drunk, then investigate the noticeboard.
- Letter four: Loosen each of the three undead arms found in the north-eastern room, and then inspect one of the arms. After the short cutscene of the undead arms killing the Resideads, investigate the noticeboard.
- Letter five: Return to the supply area north of the jail room and collect three barrels and three gun powder in human form. Use the gunpowder on each of the three barrels, then wear the disguise again and head to the south-eastern room. The attendead will ask the player to help finish the barrel chests. Do so by using the gun powder filled barrels and sabotage them. Destroy any one of the barrelchests, exploding the remaining ones and killing the attendead. (Do not detonate unless you have more than 200 life points as the explosion may kill you otherwise.) Now investigate the noticeboard.
After collecting all letters, return back to Bill by signalling him from the dock.
Destroying the factory construction line
Talk to Bill Teach on board his ship. After taking the barrelchest disguise from you, he hands you a stash of mini powder kegs (bundle o' kegs). Now ask him to return you to Bloodsplatter Isle so that you can complete the task of destroying the factory construction line. Head to the eastern-most room (the room with the red line). Pull the lever to activate the three conveyor belts, and use the bundle o' kegs on them continuously until each of the conveyor belts explode. Occasionally, a Sado-machinist zombie will climb onto the conveyors and approach you; if it reaches the end of the conveyor it will jump off and initiate combat. This can be prevented by sending a keg down the conveyor while the zombie pirate is still on it; this kills it instantly. Note that you can't place kegs on conveyor belts that are destroyed, yet zombies can still travel down those belts to attack you. As such, you may want to balance your barrel placement such that all three belts are destroyed around the same time.
Battle at Sea
This fight is completely safe. If your zomboat is sunk, you will reappear on the dock with a new zomboat. However, all the zomboats you have previously sunk will respawn, and you will need to begin the battle again.
After all of the three conveyor belts have exploded, Mi-Gor and Mechanical Murphy attempt to escape. Climb over the destroyed wall between the conveyor lines, and head east through the door opening to the docks. Descend the ladder, and you will encounter Mi-Gor and Mechanical Murphy, only to see them escape on their zomboats.
Board the unoccupied zomboat to chase your enemies, Mi-Gor's zomboat, Murphy's zomboat (5 hits to sink) and three other zomboats (2 hits to sink). Shoot at the enemy boats by using the available interface, or by using a right-click option on the enemy boat. Try to attack them one on one, backing off to recover and repair damage when necessary. Enemy boats can not repair damage.
After all hostile boats are sunk, you will return to Bill's boat and sail back to Mos Le'Harmless. Go back to Joe's Pub basement and speak to Bill Teach.
Congratulations, quest complete!
- 1 quest point
- 19,000 experience
- 18,000 experience
- 18,000 experience
- 15,000 experience
- 11,250 experience
- 11,000 experience
- 5,000 experience
- Ability to enter the 'Rum'-geon resource dungeon and kill the 'Rum'-pumped crabs for the brackish blade.
- A scroll allowing quick transport between Mos Le'Harmless and Braindeath Island.
- 2 Treasure Hunter keys and 2 Hearts of Ice
- Music unlocked
Required for completing
Completion of A Clockwork Syringe is required for the following:
Partial completion of A Clockwork Syringe is required for the following:
- The title is a reference to the 1962 dystopian novella A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess.
- On the day of release, the spoilers read, "The developer won't spill the beans on the quest rewards. We've sworn 'The Oath' and will make him crack within the day. This isn't going to be pretty...".
- Upon completion of the quest, your Adventurer's log reads: "I prevailed over Rabid Jack's minions in their most recent dastardly plot to destroy the world with Zombio-mechanical weaponry."
- The zombie minions in the factory have names which refer to various stages in medical training and other hospital personnel, "Dis-orderlies", "General Malpractitioners", "Grimterns", and "Resideads" instead of "orderly", "general practitioner", "intern" and "resident", respectively. The zombies that crawl onto the conveyor belts are called "Sado-machinists", a reference to sadomasochism.
- When you destroy the conveyor belts in the factory, the examine text reads "You were only supposed to blow the doors off". This is a reference to the film The Italian Job.
- The phrase "Off te the locker I go..." you hear one of the zombies say is a reference to Davy Jones' Locker, a euphemism for death at sea and an idiom for the bottom of the sea.
- After the skillcape graphical update on 16 March 2015, the estate agent can be seen wearing a Slayer cape instead of a Construction cape. This has since been fixed.
- The phrase "What happens at sea stays at sea" when taking the oath is a reference to the quote "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."
- The phrase "Oh, the huge manatee!" you hear one of the zombies say as they sink is a pun on the phrase "Oh, the humanity!" from when the Hindenburg burst into flames and crashed into the ground.
- Repairing your zomboat appears to be influenced by your Construction level. The higher your level, the higher you can raise your boat's health to when performing repairs.
- Examining the Crate of legs in the western-most room in the factory gives the text: "You put your left leg in..." This is a reference to the song The Hokey Pokey.
- The damage done by the seagulls (Baron Von Hattenkrapper) bomb to the Barrelchest MK II of 1337 is a reference to the common usage of 1337 to represent leet speak.