As Rum Can Be is a music track that is unlocked upon completion of Pieces of Hate. The lyrics were written by Mod Slippers and performed by Mod Osborne.
Lyrics[]
In Sarim it started
This sailor, bravehearted
Did smuggle, skullduggle, and steal (all lies!)
For great pirate Frank
Had emptied his tank
And was thirsty for rummy he appealed (no he weren't!)
(Chorus)
So spill all me grog and slap my knee
It's lies as far as the scope can see, boys
You're the cod in codswallop
The troll in to trollop
Your rhymes are as rum as can be
Then onto old Harmless
Where the patrons are charmless
And lightless and soulless and dead (those three are the same!)
A Rum Deal was had
And a fever by gad
For the mizzen was pelted with lead (rubbish!)
(Chorus)
Look here, vagabonds
You've paid me two bonds
And it's two bonds that gets you the truth (get bond!)
The next gallantry
Was a Brain Robbery
Where Mi-Gor plotted something uncouth (boring!)
(Chorus)
Now listen, you swines
I'm ahead of my time
And these rhymes are as fresh as cave eel (rotten!)
But things went to cack
As old Rabid Jack
Brought the five pirate cap's to his heel (you stink!)
(Chorus)
I don't mean to whinge
During Clockwork Syringe, but
It's time to respect your ship's mates
You wouldn't expect
This coarse dialect
From the pirates' of Pieces of Hate
(Chorus)
