Brassica Prime is the cheerful patron god of all cabbages[3] and, as such, takes the form of a giant cabbage. He claims to command the power of highly concentrated nutrients.[4]
Likely due to being a giant vegetable, Brassica Prime believes that power comes from deliciousness,[1] probably due to the fact that most fruits and vegetables wish to be eaten to spread their seeds around, and thus the more deliciousness, the more chance of being picked and propagating.[5]
Brassica was involved in the 2007 April Fools event, the 2009 April Fools event, and makes small appearances in The Death of Chivalry and Missing, Presumed Death. He also features in the Cabbage Facepunch Bonanza with the monkey goddess of parties, Marimbo.
Personality
| “ | I command the power of highly concentrated nutrients. There is no greater force in all of creation. | ” |
Brassica is a cheerful god, and seems to enjoy relaxing and bouncing.[6] As his appearance would imply, he is extremely fond of cabbages, and considers the cabbages of RuneScape to be his followers. Brassica Prime also seems to value persistence, and has twice rewarded those who have demonstrated it.[7][8]
Brassica appears to be rather delusional, and believes himself to be the only god, describing the other gods as mere "fleshy giants".[9] He also believes himself to be immune to fire, including the breath of the powerful dragonkin Strisath, as he puts it, "a roasted cabbage is a delicious cabbage, and deliciousness is power".[1].
Despite his seemingly frail appearance, Brassica believes himself to be extremely powerful, and with the use of the "highly concentrated nutrients" he commands, he considers himself to have no need for the Elder Artefacts, including even the Stone of Jas (or the "Cabbage of a Thousand Truths" as he calls it).[4] The accuracy of his claims are questionable however, due to his apparent insanity.
During the Cabbage Facepunch Bonanza, he tells the player that his dominion is not limited to "just" cabbages, but that "All cabbage-kind and all cabbage related things" are his to control; pointing out that the world is "shaped like a giant cabbage" and that "the giant, glowing cabbage in the sky" is "the source of light and heat in this world". He also tells the player "Nothing can exist without cabbage. I have foreseen it".
Brassica Prime not only claims deliciousness as the source of his own power, but that it is also a universal force: "For deliciousness infuses every micro-cabbage that forms the world around us. It flows through the cosmos, infusing every living thing - thus binding them together. From the tiniest, humblest cabbage on this world to the giant space-cabbages that will soon arrive to enslave humanity, all are connected by the deliciousness.". He also insists that "to be the most delicious is to wield this power. The power to create and destroy." and as "the most delicious of gods" he is "the font of this delicious power!", proclaiming to the player "From me spills all the deliciousness in creation.".
History
Early history
Brassica is one of the most mysterious deities, with nearly nothing known about his past prior to the Fifth Age. Some of his followers believe him to be a product of the Anima Mundi, in a similar fashion to Vorago, and thus tied to Gielinor's well-being, although there is no evidence to support this claim.[10]
Although Saradomin claimed that all current gods participated in the Gielinorian God Wars, it is likely Brassica did not, for he was not affected by the Edicts of Guthix when they ended, suggesting that Guthix may have thought favourably of him, or that he did not perceive him as a threat.[11]
Visit to Oo'glog
In 169 of the Fifth Age, the cabbages of Falador Farm began jumping around with intense joy, exclaiming various phrases, although cabbages in other locations remained stationary.
Adventurers who kicked one of these bouncing cabbages all the way from Falador to Oo'glog were rewarded with a fireworks display and an audience with Brassica Prime himself. Brassica claimed to be impressed by adventurers "looking after one of [his] followers so well", and rewarded them with an ordinary cabbage.
Destruction of the Monastery Cabbages
Followers of Brassica Prime, murdered by Saradomin
When the god of order, Saradomin visited Edgeville Monastery to impart a mission to Sir Owen and an adventurer near the start of the Sixth Age, he inadvertently disintegrated a dozen cabbages, with the three remaining cabbages being lightly quick sautéd, rendering them unsuitable for consumption.[12] This angered Brassica, and as a result, he now bears a grudge towards Saradomin.[13] Adventurers are able to replant these cabbages by using 12 cabbage seeds on their scorched remains for some experience in Farming.
After the adventurer completes Saradomin's mission, they are able to find a gilded cabbage in a coffin within an ancient Saradominist crypt located near the God Wars Dungeon. If they kick this cabbage 30 times in a row without picking it up, Brassica Prime will speak to them, praising their persistence, and rewarding them with 10,000 bonus Prayer experience.[8]
Sliske's Grand Ascendancy
Brassica silently watches Sliske's announcement.
Some time after the destruction of Brassica's cabbages, the Mahjarrat Sliske attempted to gather most of the gods in the Empyrean Citadel, which he had captured from Armadyl, in order to make an announcement.
Brassica Prime was one of the gods whom Sliske invited,[14] and unlike many other gods, Brassica attended the event. Although he was silent during the events that transpired, Brassica was oblivious to the true purpose of the meeting, he believed that the "fleshy giants" were simply paying tribute to him.[9] Additionally, he was uninterested in the Stone of Jas, which Sliske announced he would give to the being who kill the most gods by the time of the next eclipse.[15]
After Sliske released the enraged Dragonkin Strisath on the gods, Brassica did not flee the citadel for he believed he had nothing to worry about, as "everyone knows cabbage beats fire".[1]
He currently remains at the citadel, sat atop his podium, relaxing and enjoying the scenery, enjoying the podium's cushion on his leaves,[6] although he believes there is a need for a cabbage patch.[16] Brassica is happy to chat to any adventurers that talk to him, and will answer any questions they ask.
Cabbage Facepunch Bonanza
Brassica Prime on his throne in Lumbridge.
As soon as the goddess of monkeys, Marimbo, returned to Gielinor, Brassica Prime faced off with her at Saradomin's old camp next to the Lumbridge Crater. However, the two gods' competition was not fatal, and more friendly than other god battles that have occurred in the Sixth Age. At the end, Brassica won the competition over Marimbo and the Godless.
Dialogue
Followers
- Cabbages
- Cabbage Cauldrons
- Herbert the Quartermaster
- Several farmers of Brassica
- The Delicious Destructor
- According to Brassica Prime himself, "all people" are his people, "although some do not know it yet.", and all who eat of the leaves of his "cabbage brethren" are his to command.
Trivia
- Brassica Prime was first mentioned during the 2007 April Fools fake Behind the Scenes as a joke, described as the King of the Cabbages and a level 11 giant cabbage boss monster, who could be fought after passing a dungeon with level 2 cabbage spawn and level 5 cabbage knights.
- Brassica is the genus for cabbages. Brassica prima is Latin for "First cabbage".
- Brassica Prime is voiced by Mod Raven, although his voice is greatly enhanced.
- His examine text in the Empyrean Citadel is a reference to the Lord of the Rings.
- Eating Brassica Prime would only make him stronger and, as he claims, more delicious.
- Brassica Prime refers to the Stone of Jas as the 'Cabbage of a thousand truths'.
- The mentions of "the giant, glowing cabbage in the sky" and "micro-cabbages" that "form the world around us" are referring to the sun, and atoms, respectively.
- The "giant space-cabbages that will soon arrive to enslave humanity" are either a hint to future story content, or an invention of Brassica Prime's imagination.
- According to Mod Giara, Brassica's first arrival to Gielinor on April 1st may have been a normal cabbage. However, this is most likely a joke. [17]
- Brassica wondering why people would think the world is banana shaped is a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail when Sir Bedever the Wise is telling King Arthur how we know the world to be Banana Shaped.
References
| Elder Gods | |
| Transcendent gods |
 Seren Zaros Guthix† |
| High gods |
 Saradomin |
| Experienced gods |
 Armadyl Zamorak Bandos† Tuska† |
| Inexperienced gods |
 Brassica Prime Elidinis‡ Marimbo Tumeken‡ V† |
| Demigods |
 Amascut‡ Icthlarin‡ |
| Facets of gods |
 Apmeken‡ Crondis‡ Het‡ Scabaras‡ |
| Unknown power |
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| Mythical |
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| † denotes gods that are deceased; ‡ denotes gods part of the Menaphite Pantheon | |
April Fools | |
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| 2004 | |
| 2005 |
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| 2007 |
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| 2009 |
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| 2011 |
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| 2012 |
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| 2013 |
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| 2014 |
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| 2015 |
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| 2016 |
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| 2018 |
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| NPCs |
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| Rewards |
 Seedicide Slayer VIP ticket Patch bomb Brassican cloak Marimban cloak Godless cloak Cabbage Facepunch Bonanza (emote) | ||||||||
| Music |
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