A H.A.M. guard is a character encountered during The Chosen Commander quest, and is amongst those radical members of H.A.M. found in Sigmund's H.A.M. base north of East Ardougne. He guards the prisoner and can tell the player what day of the week it is.
The guard appears to be a stickler for organisation, as he has drawn up a schedule for interrogators and through his own initiative set up a system that allows interrogation and prisoner release only when recommended or authorised in writing by Sigmund respectively.
His extreme need for proper processes have driven him to associate any lack of order with monsters, going so far as to develop homicidal distaste for the disorganisation as well as lack of proper conflict resolution within the goblin hierarchy.
The guard gets stunned by Grubfoot as he escapes from the base with the assistance of the player.
- ^ H.A.M. guard, "The Chosen Commander", RuneScape. "I've drawn up a rota assigning a different interrogator to each day of the week, using the old Saradominist calendar."
- ^ H.A.M. guard, "The Chosen Commander", RuneScape. "So, I've set up a system: everyone has to have a letter, signed by Sigmund, saying they're qualified to interrogate prisoners."
- ^ H.A.M. guard, "The Chosen Commander", RuneScape. "What? No, no. I could only let the prisoner go if Sigmund authorised it in writing. That's the system."
- ^ H.A.M. guard, "The Chosen Commander", RuneScape. "We can't just let anyone in to interrogate the prisoner, now, can we? We have to do things by a proper procedure. Otherwise, it'll be anarchy, and we'll be no better than the monsters!"
- ^ H.A.M. guard, "The Chosen Commander", RuneScape. "But they just won't follow proper rules and procedures. They won't be neat or organised. So we have to put a process in place to wipe them all out. It's the only way."
- ^ H.A.M. guard, "The Chosen Commander", RuneScape. "Because they are disorganised! They don't follow proper systems! I visited Goblin Village once, and even their generals don't have any proper procedures in place."
- ^ H.A.M. guard, "The Chosen Commander", RuneScape. "They don't even have a system for resolving disputes! They disagree all the time, and then they just shout and fight."