Meg chathead

Megatha Christie, commonly known as Meg, is an aspiring adventurer who describes herself as the player's biggest fan. Meg can be found in the player's player-owned port in the south-west corner. Once a week, resetting on Wednesday at approximately 00:00 UTC, Meg will ask the player for advice on how to deal with three situations that she is expecting on her adventures. After hearing some advice, she will teleport out to her adventures.

When Meg returns the following Wednesday, players receive a chatbox message upon logging in: "You receive word that Meg has returned from her latest adventure." The next time a player talks to Meg, she will tell them how well she did and give them a treasure chest, with a reward that depends on the quality of the advice she was given.

The advice that Meg is given acts as a bonus to her skills. It is always best to give the best possible advice from the choices offered; however, even she may fail to have a perfect result regardless of whether she was given the best possible advice to all three questions. Excellent answers only give big boosts to Meg's own skills - if the mission is above her league, she will still fail it, although excellent answers guarantee that the player will be rewarded with at least a medium lamp. Players do not need to meet the skill requirements for player-owned ports to speak with and advise Meg.

Exiting the conversation and offering to Help her again before completing the dialogue forces a player to begin the dialogue again from the beginning, allowing a player to choose different advice to give, but Meg will teleport away after she is answered three times.

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Meg sees you
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One of Meg's many questions.

Meg's cases

Main article: Meg's cases

During the Mega May event in 2016, players assisted Meg a.k.a. Megatha Christie with her detective agency by investigating cases for her. One case was unlocked each day, and rewards included experience lamps, pets, and an outfit.

Kindred Spirits

Main article: Kindred Spirits

During the course of her investigations into various thefts and kidnappings, Meg was herself kidnapped by a dragonkinesque creature. She was used as bait alongside Major Mary Rancour, Linza and Brother Samwell to force the World Guardian to play a series of games designed by Sliske involving the Barrows brothers. Brother Samwell was killed while the others were forced to help the World Guardian defeat the games. During Ahrim's trial, she was possibly tortured, and during Verac's trial, she may have been hurt making a key. During Guthan's trial, she badly impersonated the World Guardian, who was investigating Sliske's secret laboratory. Sliske saw through the guise and, when the World Guardian arrived, beat them and turned Linza into a wight. Meg, alongside Major Rancour and the World Guardian, fled to the surface after the Barrows brothers refused to kill them. She returned back to her post in the player-owned ports afterwards.

Player-owned port

The reward comes in the form of a treasure chest that contains two items: a stack of coins and an experience lamp giving experience in a random skill. Players will always receive at least a small experience lamp no matter how poorly Meg did. The lamps are equivalent to those awarded by Treasure Hunter.

Meg's response Reward
Oh, wow! I can't believe how amazing that was. Nothing went wrong. I didn't fall over my feet - not that I do that much - and no one threw rocks at me or anything like that. I even found some amazing treasure. Here, you deserve a big share, I couldn't have done it without you! Huge XP lamp + coins
Oh, it was amazing! I followed your advice and - while I did encounter a few problems - I prevailed. I brought you back a share of my treasure, just as I promised. Large XP lamp + coins
That did not go as well as I expected. I'm sorry, but I wasn't able to get the loot that I intended to. Here's what I did find though. I'm sorry, I'll do better next time. Medium XP lamp + coins
Oh, good Guthix, it was horrible! I barely escaped with my life. I-I must have gotten your advice mixed up, I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm such a fool. I'll do better next time, I really will. Please, don't give up on me - I know I can be a better adventurer. I just need practice. Small XP lamp + coins

Meg's questions

Main article: Calculator:Meg

The first question will have four answers to select from, while the remaining two questions will have three. The responses available to you depend on your level in the skill being asked about, with the best responses only being available at higher levels. The possible types of answers are excellent, good, bad, neutral or terrible. For some questions there are two possible answers for each type, for a total of ten possible answers per question, and for others there is only one possible choice for each level of answer.

If any of your levels are lower than their base levels, the best possible responses might sometimes not be available. This includes Prayer and Summoning levels that have been drained from maximum.[source needed]

Answers in this table are colour coded as follows:


A suggested method of navigating this table is searching for phrases in the question using the "Find" function (CTRL+F, or +F on Mac).

Question Skill Answer Rating
A friend of mine told me about this rare breed of shark that can walk on land. I’ve decided to go and hunt one down – It’d look great mounted on my wall at home. you have any idea how I would go about doing that? Hunter They'll probably use sound to track prey. Excellent
Dance on the ground to attract them. Excellent
Use kebbits as bait Good
I think your friend is pulling your leg, Meg. Good
Dig a moat to trap them Neutral
Stay on rock. They won't swim through that Bad
Dig underground to find them. Bad
You'll need a strong harpoon. Bad
Keep above the ground Terrible
Use fire to trap them in one place. Terrible
After defeating a gang of scurvy seadogs - which I've not done, but am very close to nearly-maybe doing - what's the best way to haul off my loot? Thieving Take the most valuable pieces with you. Excellent
Don't get carried away by greed. Take what you need. Good
Get a big, sturdy bag. Neutral
Throw the loot into the sea for safekeeping. Bad
Ask the seadogs to carry it for you. Terrible
Any general tips on being stealthy? I want to sneak my way past some rather scary looking people. Thieving Keep to the shadows and cover yourself in dark colours. Excellent
Keep to the shadows. Good
Move slowly and carefully. Neutral
Move quickly. Bad
Make yourself stand out, they won't expect that. Terrible
Do you have any advice for dealing with magical traps? Runecrafting Research them carefully Excellent
Try setting them off remotely. Good
Warding spells are your friend. Neutral
Shoot them first. Bad
Just use brute force. Terrible
Have you heard the stories of zombies in Karamja? A terrible curse that turns people into monsters? It's horrible and I'm going to find a way to put a stop to it. I hear tales of an artefact that can cure it - a bag filled with strange magical powder, so I'm going to find it. Any idea of where I should look? Herblore The jungles would be a good place to hide it. Excellent
Look in the caves around Karamja. Excellent
Sneak into the Legends' Guild and see if they know. Good
Investigate sources of magic. Good
Try the villages. Neutral
Ask the local populace. Neutral
Interrogate a broodoo victim. Bad
Interrogate a jogre. Bad
Look in the heart of the volcano. Terrible
Try the broodoo ritual yourself for inspiration. Terrible
I have heard about a great way to improve my connection to the spiritual, something called an... erm... ecto-fungus? Yeah, the ecto-fungus is in Morytania somewhere, and I shall quest to find this ghostly mushroom... thing. Any tips? Prayer I hear it's near Port Phasmatys. Excellent
Work on your agility - it'll help. Excellent
It's called the Ectofuntus, Meg. Good
You'll need bones, pots and buckets. Good
I think you should do more research before going. Neutral
Morytania is dangerous. Be careful. Neutral
Fungus grows in dark damp areas. Bad
Follow the ghasts. They'll lead you there. Bad
Beat up some werewolves. They'll tell you where it is. Terrible
I hear it's in the heart of the vampyre city. Terrible
I have heard stories of strange lobsters that lie deep within the swamps of Morytania. Lobsters that have been twisted by the malevolent forces that reside there. So twisted, that their skin has turned into obsidian blackness. So I'm going to find some. Any suggestions? Cooking They're just burnt lobsters, Meg. Excellent
Someone was trying to trick you, Meg. Excellent
Don't go Meg. They're lies. Good
Were they very crispy? Good
Bring a lobster net. Neutral
Be prepared for disappointment. Neutral
They'll hide in deep ponds. Bad
They'll be near ghasts. Bad
Sure, but first, let me cut your gems for you. Terrible
I hear they taste particularly good. Terrible
I have heard that deep within the swamps of Morytania, there lives a witch with terrible and dark power. So, I'm going to go and steal her book of spells. Any advice? Magic Reconsider. Witches can be unpredictable. Excellent
Make sure you have a strong magic defence. Excellent
Bring some allies for support. Good
Be stealthy; wait till she leaves. Good
Offer to trade for it. Neutral
Ask another witch first. Neutral
Set her house on fire. Bad
Throw rocks at her. Bad
Research life as a toad. Terrible
Poke her with spoons. Witches hate spoons. Terrible
I heard there's a cup that never runs out of water. I was wondering if I could use that to my advantage... if I could find it. Magic Learn the enchantment that makes it work. Excellent
You could help the needy during droughts. Good
It could keep you hydrated in the desert. Neutral
Put it on its side and gradually wear a fortress wall away. Bad
Handy for washing your clothes. Terrible
I may have upset a few people. What's a good way of dealing with an angry mob? Hunter Set a trap beforehand. Excellent
Get yourself the homeground advantage. Good
Get help. Neutral
Rig explosive traps around you. Bad
Take the fight to them. Terrible
I met this really weird guy in Karamja the other day, he kept talking to me about this plant as though it were alive. Weird. However he did introduce me to these bizarre little creatures and a way of hunting them to make potions. I thought it could be useful. Any tips? Herblore Make sure your farming skill is up to scratch. Excellent
Look out for the rare breeds of jadinko. Excellent
Make juju hunter flasks. Good
Bring hunter potions. Good
Set up lots of the traps. Neutral
Wear camouflage. Neutral
Use normal box traps. Bad
Use deadfall traps. Bad
Cut off bits of the vine to snare them. Terrible
That guy's crazy. Just trap the things with fire. Terrible
I might be overreaching a bit with this adventure. See I've heard that there might be a secret dungeon in Morytania, one created by a powerful necromancer and - well - that means there might be dark secrets to uncover. So... I'm going to investigate. Any advice that will help me get back alive? Slayer Necromancy seems to have nasty side effects. Be careful. Excellent
Don't go alone. Excellent
Bring equipment that's good against undead. Good
Keep teleport runes handy. Good
Note what you find in a journal. Neutral
Don't let zombies bite you. Neutral
Drink any potions you find. Bad
Go in secret, so no one can betray you. Bad
If a zombie bites you, bite back. Terrible
If you find anything, cast the biggest spell you can. Terrible
I think I've got a lot better at being stealthy, so I am going to test my skills. I have decided to sneak into the vampyre city and steal something from there. Any suggestions? Thieving Look for a vampyre resistance group. Excellent
Find a good disguise. Excellent
Have a quick escape plan. Good
Vampyres are hard to fool. Good
Reconsider. Vampyres are deadly. Neutral
Create a distraction. Neutral
Keep to the shadows. Bad
Stick to the high ground. Bad
It's dark, so bring a light source. Terrible
Mark yourself with blood. They won't investigate you. Terrible
I want to bind an elemental to serve me. Any ideas? Runecrafting Leave that to the Wizards' Tower. Excellent
Try and bargain with one, rather than bind it. Good
Use the opposite element to control one. Neutral
Force one into submission with violence. Bad
Invoke demonic magic. Terrible
I want to cross terrain faster. What animals are safe to ride? Summoning None that I know of. Excellent
I guess unicorns, if you can tame them. Good
I'd stick to going on foot. Neutral
Bears. Bad
Fire elementals. Terrible
I want to focus on sword fighting. Any pointers? Attack Treat the sword as an extension of your arm. Excellent
Remember - the sword can do more than just stab. Good
Keep the pointy end away from you. Neutral
Throw it at your enemy. Bad
Juggle with them to scare your foe. Terrible
I want to train an animal to help me. What would you recommend? Summoning Dogs are loyal and have great noses. Excellent
Birds have a great range of travel. Good
Ferrets can fit through small gaps. Neutral
Cats are cute. Bad
Bears are cuddly and friendly. Terrible
I was... erm... working on opening doors that, strictly speaking, I don't have the keys for. Can I pick your brain? Thieving Get some good quality lockpicks. Excellent
Locate alternative entrances. Good
Make sure the place is empty first. Neutral
Just kick the door down. Bad
Stand outside and shout 'fire!' Terrible
I was trying to disarm someone at range, but it's tricky. What do I do? Ranged Aim for their arm rather than their hand. Excellent
Use a crossbow for greater accuracy. Good
Try throwing daggers. Neutral
Use a cannon. Bad
Aim for their head. That'll disarm them. Terrible
I was wondering how I fight a pirate with a hook. Attack Keep your distance. Excellent
Carefully - treat the hook as a weapon. Good
Disarm him quickly. Neutral
Put a cork on the hook. Bad
Ignore it. focus on their main weapon. Terrible
I was wondering what the best weapon was for cutting through dense undergrowth. Woodcutting A strong machete. Excellent
A sharp sword. Good
A good knife. Neutral
A bladed whip. Bad
A warhammer. Terrible
I'll need to travel through cave networks. Any advice? Firemaking Get a mining helmet. Excellent
Speak to the dwarves for suggestions. Good
Bring rope. Lots of rope. Neutral
Oil yourself so you can slip through tight spaces. Bad
Dive straight in. Terrible
I'm trying to enchant my sword with runes, but it doesn't seem to work. ...? Runecrafting Enchanting doesn't work that way. Excellent
You'll need an enchantment spell. Good
Go to the Wizards' Tower for help. Neutral
Make a sword out of rune essence. Bad
Eat rune essence so you're in tune with your sword. Terrible
I'm worried about insects. Any ideas of how to protect against them? Hunter Insects don't like smoke. Excellent
When in a tent, cover the gaps with netting. Good
Avoid walking near hives. Neutral
Ignore them. You need to toughen up. Bad
Coat yourself in honey. Terrible
I've been formally challenged to my first duel. Please help! Slayer Scope out the arena first. Excellent
Research your opponent. Good
Check your weapons first. Neutral
Sabotage their weapon beforehand. Bad
Don't turn up. Terrible
I've discovered an ancient temple filled with the undead. How do I kill them? Slayer Bring a group. Excellent
Arm yourself with powerful weapons. Good
Bring food to heal. Neutral
Undead are weak. Just charge in. Bad
Use the Bones to Peaches spell on the skeletons. Terrible
I've found a waterfall I need to scale down. What's the best thing to do? Agility Find a path nearby. Excellent
Scale the cliffside, not the fall. Good
Tie a rope to the top to control your descent. Neutral
Test a raft first. Bad
Close your eyes and hope. Terrible
I've heard rumours of a haunted house. Any thoughts on how I should investigate? Find out why the ghosts are haunting it. Excellent
Talk to an exorcist first. Good
Bring salt. Neutral
Go alone. You'll draw less attention. Bad
Stab the ghosts. Terrible
I've noticed several restless ghosts wandering around Gielinor and I want to help. I've decided I will become an exorcist, setting these spirits free. Erm... don't suppose you have any idea how I do that? Prayer Father Urhney is a skilled exorcist. He can help. Excellent
Try to find out what's keeping the spirits trapped. Excellent
An amulet of ghostspeak would be useful. Good
Give them a proper burial. Good
Salt and holy water. Neutral
Get a priest to help. Neutral
Just ignore them. Bad
Destroy them with magic. Bad
Give them to a demon. Terrible
Bind them to serve you. Terrible
Oh dear. I'm hoping to adventure in Lumbridge, but I'm a little concerned about how to deal with the goblin population. Any pointers? A great adventurer like you must know something! Ranged Distract them with something shiny first. Excellent
Try attacking from a distance. They tend to be melee-based. Excellent
Goblins are fairly weak. Just be brave. Good
Strike quickly, before they can strike you. Good
A quick strike to the stomach often works. Neutral
Make yourself seem intimidating. Neutral
Work on counter-attacks, not attacks. Bad
Throw rocks at them. Bad
They're harmless. Just punch them. Terrible
Just remember to mock Bandos. Terrible
Oh, good Guthix! I-I-I was attacked by... by ROCKS! ROCKS! They just seemed to move of their own accord and went for me. I fought them off, but it was close. I have been told that they're called 'rock crabs'. Do you have advice about them? Slayer Fighting rock crabs is good combat training. Excellent
Their rock forms can be identified, if you're observant. Excellent
Pickaxes are good against them. Good
They have a strong defence. Be careful. Good
Use a dwarf multicannon. Neutral
Take care not to get too injured. Neutral
Disguise yourself as a rock. Bad
Just run away screaming. Bad
They spit fire! Terrible
They're highly poisonous. FLEE, MEG! Terrible
Oh, I discovered a terrible thing on my travels to Morytania. There are people who are not what they seem. One moment they are normal humans, but the next they become huge snarling creatures. I need to know how to deal with them. Any suggestions? Slayer I hear there is a magic weapon that will help. Excellent
Attack from a distance. Excellent
Try diplomacy first. Good
Bring food. They can hit hard. Good
They're scary, but mortal. Neutral
Try and kill them before they change. Neutral
Stamp on their tail. Bad
Swat them on the nose. Bad
Poke them repeatedly; they can't fight if angry. Terrible
Insult their fur. Terrible
Oh, it's awful - those poor people in Morytania, forced to live under the yoke of cruel vampyre masters. I'm going to save as many as I can. I'll slay me some vampyres. Ahh... any idea how I would do that? Slayer Vampyres don't like silver. Excellent
I hear you need a potion to defeat them. Excellent
Be careful. Vampyres are very dangerous. Good
You'll need a special weapon to defeat them. Good
Stake them. Neutral
I think holy water is effective. Neutral
Drag them into sunlight. Bad
Coat your sword in garlic first. Bad
Just stab them. Terrible
Fight them bare-handed. Terrible
Oh, while I've got you - I was planning on seeing if I could use a bow and arrow as a sort of grappling hook thing. What do you think? Ranged You'd be better off using a crossbow Excellent
Arrows aren't generally good at holding weight. Good
Use the arrows as footholds instead. Neutral
Aim the arrow at a downward angle. Bad
Use flaming arrows, so they melt into the surface a bit. Terrible
Okay, so a friend of mine told me he's heard rumours of a powerful flail that was wielded by one of Saradomin's generals way back in the God Wars. I'm going to go and quest for it. Do you have any suggestions on where to start? Dungeoneering Be careful. A weapon like that will be guarded. Excellent
Be sure you can trust your friend. Excellent
Saradomin's followers may know something. Good
Ask around. Rumours are occasionally based on truth. Good
Look in ancient ruins. Neutral
It's just a rumour. Neutral
Leave it to me. I'll find it eventually. Bad
It's clearly a lie, Meg. Why bother looking? Bad
Keep buying flails until you get the right one. Terrible
Never liked flails. Too easy to hit yourself. Terrible
Okay, so I have a problem. Um. I set up a series of magical traps and... locked myself out of my own house. Any suggestions? Thieving Study them carefully. It'll come back to you. Excellent
Work backwards. Good
Set them off remotely. Neutral
Just charge through. Bad
Move house. Terrible
Okay, so I heard that I can hunt swamp lizards and use them to breathe fire on my enemies. That sounds really useful. Any ideas on how to catch them? Hunter Watch out for ghasts. Excellent
Look for trees that aren't rotten. Excellent
Don't wear anything flammable. Good
Set several traps to be sure. Good
Wear camouflage. Neutral
Be very quiet to avoid spooking them. Neutral
Box traps might work. Bad
Deadfall traps are good for them. Bad
Stamp on them. Terrible
Douse yourself in oil first. Terrible
Okay, so I wanted to improve my connection to the divine powers and I thought Lumbridge would be a good place to start. Any suggestions? Prayer Ask Father Aereck about a ghost for a good reward. Excellent
The Salvation auras can be useful. Excellent
Imps drop ashes that you can scatter. Good
There are lots of goblins to get bones from. Good
Just buy a bunch of bones from the Grand Exchange. Neutral
Sit in on local sermons. Neutral
Just keep praying. You'll improve it that way. Bad
Duel random people to show your devotion to the gods. Bad
Ignore Lumbridge and go straight to the frost dragons. Terrible
Greater demons drop some nice ashes. You can defeat them, right? Terrible
Okay, so I was speaking to this wise old adventurer in the Poison Arrow pub the other day - scary place and he told me the tale of El Piskay the Demon Fish of the River Lum. So I am going to catch it! Although I'm not so good with water... or fish... or fishing rods... Any advice? Fishing I think you should start smaller, Meg. Excellent
Why not get some help on this one? Excellent
I'm not sure that fish is real, Meg. Good
Be calm and don't panic. Good
Make sure the rod is secure. Neutral
Find out what the right bait is first. Neutral
If you fire several harpoons at once, you won't miss. Bad
Buy the adventurer a drink and bring him along. Bad
Wrestle it into submission. You'll be legendary! Terrible
Dam up the river so it can't escape! Terrible
Okay, so I went to Lumbridge and I noticed the vast wealth difference between the Duke and his subjects and I just thought 'why?'. I mean, it's not like he needs ALL of that wealth. So, I am going to break into the castle and steal from his treasury to give it to the poor locals. Erm... any idea how I would go about doing that? Thieving You might want to have a chat with the Thieves' Guild. Excellent
The castle's fairly open. Scope it out first. Excellent
A disguise is always a good idea. Good
Take the wealth in small batches over time. Good
Plan carefully. Neutral
Go at night, when it's easier to stay unseen. Neutral
Enlist the goblins for help. Bad
Dig under the tower from the swamp. Bad
No subtlety. Attack directly - show them who's boss! Terrible
Borrow a cannon and lay siege to the castle as a distraction. Terrible
Okay, so I'm planning on crossing over White Wolf Mountain, but there are... well, there are wolves there! I don't want to be eaten. Can you help me at all? I really need advice. Ranged Take them out from a distance. Excellent
Run past them and bring food. Excellent
Collect their bones for summoning. Good
Wear strong armour to reduce the danger. Good
You could just teleport past it. Neutral
Travel in a group. Neutral
Go at night, for stealth. Bad
Dig through the mountain. Bad
Remember - wolves always work alone. Terrible
Cover yourself in blood first. That scares them. Terrible
Okay, so I'm taking myself on an adventure to the dangerous town of Lumbridge and I heard about this technique called runecrafting. It sounds like a useful skill to have and so I have made it my mission to investigate! Erm... any ideas what it is and where I should look? Runecrafting Find the Wizard's Tower. They can help. Excellent
Ask the wizards about the Runespan. Excellent
Get yourself a wicked hood. Good
Goblins sometimes drop talismans when slain. Worth a look. Good
You'll need some essence first. Neutral
The air altar can be found east of the River Lum. Neutral
Runecrafting is lame. Magic is for sissies. Bad
Fletching is more useful. Bad
Find runes, then just paint the symbols on rocks. Terrible
Crush runes up and use the dust. Terrible
Okay, so I've been tasked with a dangerous undertaking: the... erm... assassination of a dangerous foe. I have to kill... THE FERRET OF DOOM! A big, burly Fremennik warrior named Thok told me about it. Any hints or tips? Dungeoneering I think you should let Thok overcome his own fears. Excellent
I think its natural enemy is the heim crab. Excellent
Set a trap for it. Good
I suspect it's not as scary as he claims. Good
Sneak up on it from behind. Neutral
Use stealth; stick to the shadows. Neutral
Collapse the dungeon on it. Bad
Go alone; just be quick. Bad
Just tell Thok that he's a big coward. Terrible
Wait it out. Ferrets don't live that long. Terrible
Okay, so I've decided I need to pitch my fighting skills against scarier opponents than chickens. I've decided to test my swordsmanship against the Black Knights. Of course, I would like to come back alive from this, so I wondered if you had any tips. Magic They're weak against magic. Excellent
Bring a White Knight as assistance. Excellent
Keep your nerves steady. Good
You can heal at the Monastery. Good
Make sure you're wearing good armour. Neutral
Bring food to heal. Neutral
Wear black armour to infiltrate them. Bad
Bring a Black Knight as assistance. Bad
Dress in white armour so they don't suspect you. Terrible
Use ranged weapons. They're weak against those. Terrible
Okay, so I've heard rumours of an ancient temple hidden in the Kharazi jungle somewhere. I've decided to investigate to see if I can be the first to uncover it. Don't suppose you have any pointers do you? Woodcutting Bring a machete. The jungle is thick. Excellent
Might want to find someone who's been there before. Excellent
Mark where you've been so you can get back. Good
Arm yourself. The locals might not be friendly. Good
Remember that it's just a rumour, Meg. Neutral
Climb a tree to get a better view of the area. Neutral
If attacked, wave your swords around while screaming. Bad
Flies can be a great source of nutrition. Bad
Ask a monkey. Terrible
Tame a deathwing and survey the area from above. Terrible
Okay, well, thing is... I was hoping to catch something in Lumbridge. Something horrible; something terrifying beyond words. I was hoping to catch... shrimp. Don't laugh - they're horrible things! Slimy and icky... Any tips on how to catch them effectively? Fishing Just remember that they're harmless. Excellent
Use a small fishing net and grab the shrimp quickly. Excellent
Cook them immediately so they don't freak you out. Good
Wear gloves so you don't have to feel them. Good
Just look for the right fishing spots. Neutral
Get a net and shove it in the water. Neutral
Get a fishing rod and be patient. Bad
Just buy them from the Grand Exchange. Bad
Harpoon the shrimp, they'll know who's boss. Terrible
Stick your head in and catch them with your teeth. Terrible
So I've been wanting to work on my fletching skills, but I just can't get enough feathers. The shops won't sell them to me after that nasty incident at the archery competition. It was the wind, I'm sure of it! Anyway, I've discovered these birds that have amazing blue feathers so, how do I catch them? Hunter Set up several traps and be patient. Excellent
Watch for favoured flight patterns. Excellent
Disguise the traps as best you can. Good
Consider putting seeds on the trap. Good
Not really my area of expertise. Neutral
Wear camouflage. Neutral
Shoot them down with an arrow. Bad
Sing at them. Birds love song. Bad
Just whack the birds with a whip. Terrible
Set fire to the trees so they can only land on your trap. Terrible
So, I've been wondering about those little red things... imps, I think they're called. There were a few in Lumbridge and I was going to try my hand at catching one. Got any pointers? Hunter Try baiting the traps with beads. Excellent
Watch out for their teleports. Excellent
Be quiet and keep still. You don't want to spook them. Good
Make sure you're using the right trap. Good
Dress as a Zamorakian monk so they don't suspect you. Neutral
You'll need to use a magic box. Neutral
Shoot at them first. Bad
Throw beads at them to confuse them. Bad
Use a simple box trap. They're cheaper. Terrible
Use holy water on them. They hate it. Terrible
So, I've discovered that between me and my target is an army of the undead. What do I do? Slayer Whittle them down with cannonfire. Excellent
Don't panic. Undead are slow and stupid. Good
Blast them with magic. Neutral
Sneak past them. Bad
Fight them with fists - they're weak to fists. Terrible
So I've heard about this powerful demonic force and I wondered if you had any idea how to stop it. Prayer Most demons can be banished. Find the ritual. Excellent
Look for a binding spell. Good
Be strong in your faith. Neutral
Stabbing it normally works. Bad
Make a bargain with it. Should be fine. Terrible
So I've realised that I can make a little bit of money from polar kebbit fur. I figured I can't get tracking wrong. Except it turns out I can. I was stuck under that log for hours! Don't suppose you have any advice? Hunter Wear polar camouflage. Excellent
Stock up on hunter potions. Excellent
Keep quiet. They're easily spooked. Good
Just keep focused and prepare to lose a few. Good
Wear white clothes to blend in. Neutral
Stand upwind so they can't smell you. Neutral
Blast the burrows with Earth Bolt spells. Bad
Block up all the exits with snow. Bad
Smoke them out with fire. Terrible
Shout loudly to scare them. Terrible
So, I decided I need to improve my mystical knowledge and I said to myself, 'Meg, what better way to do so than to have a nice chat with a demon? Of course, they're big and scary and might try to devour my soul... Still, no pain no gain. Got any advice? Prayer Demons lie, Meg. Don't trust them. Excellent
Make sure you have a powerful wizard with you. Excellent
Whatever you do, don't agree to anything. Good
Be careful. Good
Make sure it's bound properly. Neutral
I think you should reconsider. Neutral
Summon it in a church. Bad
Make sure you summon it in a place of power. Bad
Don't bother with any sort of binding circle. Terrible
Offer it your soul for information. Terrible
So I had this plan to sneak into Varrock castle - you know, for all the treasure... But I'm a little concerned at what I should do if I get caught. Any tips? Thieving Trick the guard. Excellent
Fake illness, then escape. Excellent
Dig a tunnel with a spoon. Good
Hide under the bed. Good
Just don't get caught. Neutral
Remember that it's just a rumour, Meg. Neutral
Knock the guard out. Bad
Kill the guard. Bad
Kill everyone you meet. Terrible
Set fire to the castle. Terrible
So, I have decided that I need to get in touch with my spiritual side. I'm heading into Lumbridge to learn the secrets of the Saradominist church there. You know, the one by the graveyard. Any advice? Prayer Father Aereck is a good man to talk to. Excellent
Talk to Xenia in the nearby graveyard. She is an experienced adventurer. Excellent
Kill some goblins and bury their bones. Good
Be quiet and polite. It is a place of worship, after all. Good
Be sure to go in disguise. Neutral
It's just a church, Meg. You can just go inside. Neutral
Go find Father Urhney instead. He loves company. Bad
Break in through the northern window. Bad
It's secretly a Zamorakian temple. Terrible
Be careful - Father Aereck is clearly a Mahjarrat. Terrible
So I have heard the stories of flesh-eating fish, in the heart of Karamja, that will strip the flesh from your bones in seconds. I'm going to catch me some. Any suggestions? Fishing Use a long rod. Excellent
Don't go in the water. Excellent
Set a trap using meat and a net. Good
Find a way to trap them. Good
Wear sturdy armour. Neutral
Use meat as bait. Neutral
Use fish as bait. Bad
Use fruit as bait. Bad
Wade in and catch them close up. Terrible
Dive in and catch them with your teeth. Terrible
So I may have... accidentally made a pact with a demon. How do I get out of it? Prayer Find a loophole in the contract. Excellent
Bind the demon to your service. Good
Destroy the demon. Neutral
You can't. Bad
Bargain with other demons. Terrible
So, I want to prove that I have what it takes to be an adventurer - you know, to get the job done. I realised that I'm going to need to get my hands dirty and show off my thieving skills. So I figured, what better way than to infiltrate the Thieves' Guild in Lumbridge? What do you think? Any suggestions? Thieving I've heard it's near a furnace. Excellent
Get on Darren Lightfinger's good side first. Excellent
Accept any 'job' offers the guild offers you. Good
Consider the art of disguise. Good
Steal from stalls to get some practice. Neutral
Practice pickpocketing on H.A.M members. They deserve it. Neutral
Remember - don't touch the handkerchiefs. Bad
Ask the guards about where to find them. Bad
Remember to shout at people before you rob them. Terrible
The secret to stealth is to drink a lot of alcohol first. Terrible
So, I was planning on making a canoe and sailing to some of the wilder places downriver. Tell me, what's the best wood to use? Woodcutting Just use one of the trees at the canoe station. Excellent
Try oak - sturdy, and not too expensive. Good
A tree's a tree. Neutral
Cursed magic trees, for extra speed. Bad
Bloodwood trees. You can get to those, right? Terrible
So I was talking to an adventurer friend of mine. Well, 'friend' might be a strong term... 'Adventurer I met once' might be more accurate. Anyway, they were telling me about how useful rune essence is and I realised I could make a tidy profit if I just found another supply of it. Any idea where I might find one? Runecrafting Very special circumstances create rune essence. Look for those. Excellent
Honestly, it's unlikely you'll find one. Excellent
Rune essence absorbs magic. Look for weird side effects. Good
Look for high concentrations of magic. Good
Maybe the Wizards' Tower can help. Neutral
I'd consider a more fruitful quest. Neutral
Just take control of an existing mine. Bad
Give up, Meg. Bad
Just keep saying different words in the teleport spell. Terrible
Randomly teleport around the world. Terrible
So. Okay. So, don't judge me on this, but I've been having a few problems dealing with the... erm... Well, the chickens. I can't seem to defeat the chickens in Lumbridge. I don't suppose you have any advice do you? Slayer Sneak up on them from behind. Excellent
Draw a line in front of their beaks to hypnotise them. Excellent
Try not to show fear Good
Strike quickly. It gets it over with faster. Good
Just stab them. Neutral
Throw a rock at them first. Neutral
Make loud noises to scare them. Bad
Chase them around to tire them out. Bad
Use fire to trap them. Terrible
Summon the Evil Chicken. He'll take care of them. Terrible
Well I was planning on seeing if I could catch me a baby squirrel pet. I heard there were a couple of them around Lumbridge somewhere and I wanted to try my luck. Any advice? Make sure you're good enough at summoning to keep one. Excellent
A squirrel is for life, not just for a whim. Excellent
Nuts. I don't really need to say more. Good
Be careful. They can scratch. Good
Make sure your trap is secure. Neutral
Be patient and use more than one trap. Neutral
Try to catch one with a hawk. Bad
Scare them into submission first. Bad
Deadfall traps work better than nets. Terrible
Pitfall traps are the best way. Terrible
Well, I've been planning an expedition into the heart of the Lumbridge swamps, as a friend of mine told me that he's found a cavern full of something called a 'rune golem'. It only cost me 1000 gold - a bargain! Do you have any tips on how to deal with a rune golem? Dungeoneering Tread carefully. It might be a trap. Excellent
It's never wise to pay money up-front like that. Excellent
You need to find better friends. Good
I think your 'friend' may have tricked you. Good
Bring a light source. Neutral
Scout out the area first. Neutral
Use fire. Golems hate fire. Bad
You're an idiot, Meg. Bad
Fold up your shopping list and put it into the golem's head. Terrible
I'll tell you for 1000 gold... Terrible
What's the best armour to wear while exploring? Defence Something durable, which still allows freedom of movement. Excellent
Something that provides all-round protection. Good
Something comfortable. Neutral
A full suit of chainmail. Bad
A full suit of heavy plate. Terrible
What's the best food to hunt for in the wild? Fishing Fish are generally easy to come by. Excellent
Rabbits are tasty and easy to catch. Good
Fruits and berries. Neutral
Rats are numerous. Bad
Crocodiles. Terrible
What's the best way to take out a sorcerer? Ranged Use a powerful bow to take him out from range. Excellent
Take him out from the shadows. Good
Use a ranged weapon. Neutral
Fight Fire Bolts with Fire bolts. Bad
Run up and punch him in the face . Terrible
Which of the gods is the right one to follow? Prayer Only you can answer that. Excellent
Why follow just one god? Good
Don't follow any. Neutral
Depends on what your favourite colour is. Bad
Defy all of the gods, openly. Terrible



  • The fourth option when speaking to her is "Shut up Meg.", which is a reference to the reoccurring line in the American animated sitcom Family Guy. Choosing this option does not have any effect on your standing with Meg.
  • One of her descriptions also references Family Guy by stating that for the first four years of her life, her parents thought that she was a house cat, similar to Peter sending a letter to Meg stating such.
  • Meg's question about travelling across terrain faster could be a reference that players often request a "riding skill" or "mounts". So far no mount or riding system exists in RuneScape.
  • When Meg asks about the best way to steal money due to the Duke being rich, while his subjects are poor, is most likely a Robin Hood reference.
  • The options for Meg traversing a waterfall from bad-good are a reference to the Waterfall Quest where you take a raft, before using a rope to descend the cliff.
  • The riding crop she holds in her hand is a possible reference to Indiana Jones.
  • The question about the rare lobsters in Morytania that are deep obsidian black is a reference to the "Rare" Black lobsters scam, where players would attempt to sell burnt lobsters for lots of money. One of the answers for the question references the cutting gem scam.
  • The question on the El Piskay Demon fish of Lumbridge River could be a word twist on El Fishy as pisc- is the latin root for fish, as well as Elpis, the Greek spirit of hope.
  • The answer "Dig a tunnel with a spoon" is a reference to the June 1962 Alcatraz escape, where three prisoners escaped Alcatraz by digging a hole through the cell wall with steel spoons.
  • The answer stating "Poke her with spoons. Witches hate spoons." in the question about stealing a Morytanian witch's book of spells is a reference to the popular internet meme about female dogs liking leaves.
  • The question of how to handle a rare shark that walks on land, and the answers "They'll probably use sound to track prey" and "Keep above ground", may be a possible reference to the 1990 film Tremors.
  • Meg's name and examine text during Mega May are references to crime novelist Agatha Christie.
  • During the Mega May event, she was replaced by Seasinger Jemi for her usual weekly adventurer role where she asks questions to the player, though her voiced dialogue still said Meg.
  • The answer "Run up and punch him in the face." is likely a reference to a Japanese Anime called "A Certain Magical Index", where the main premise of the show is the protagonist running up and punching magicians in the face to defeat them.
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