Simon Sez is an NPC featured in the Court Case of The Sandwich Lady v. The People. He is the victim of the crime where he is attacked by the Sandwich Lady after choosing the wrong food. This follows suit to the behaviour of the Sandwich lady in the discontinued random event, where she would assault players and teleport them to random locations if they chose the wrong food item.
- When asked about the stolen cake, Simon says "The cake is a lie!" This is a quote from the video game Portal.
- His name is a reference to the word game Simon Says.