List of confessions
- I am a pirate! - I knew you had a funny look to you. Right then, you're going away for a long time.
- I am a murderer! - I see. Very well, you're coming with me. I'll make sure you can never hurt anyone ever again.
- I am a thief! - That's right, you stole my heart! - What? - What? - Yeah...no...sorry, I don't think of you like that. - THEN IT'S PRISON FOR YOU! - ...
- I am an arsonist! - I did think you were hot. - Err...well...this is awkward now... - PRISON!
- I spacebar through quests. - You monster!
- I tried to equip gobin mail. - What's wrong with you?
- I sold my cat for death runs. - You monster!
- I don't visit my kingdom. - You monster!
- I play minigames for fun. - What's wrong with you?
- I forgot my brass key. - What's wrong with you?
- I once alched my party hat. - What's wrong with you?
- I leeched bosses for comp. - You monster!
- I lured player for all their stuff. - You monster!
- I always mine the Seren Stones someone's mining. - You monster!
- I filled the party room chest with junk. - You monster!
- I told Meg to shut up. - You monster!
- I asphyxiate north pool Yakamaru. - What's wrong with you?
- I never cap at the citadel. - You monster!
- I set up cannons at chinchompas. - You monster!
- I bought all the beads for Imp Catcher. - What's wrong with you?
The Rock Trivia
Using Eric's hook with Perch rock results in "This hook is too blunt to crave anything into the rock and the rock is too smooth to sharpen the hook upon. All in all, this isn't helpful.
Using Eric's hook with Fishing spot results in "Ow! The little blighters nipped my fingers and I've dropped the hook. I wonder if Eric has any spares."
Using piece of cloth with the bed results in "You show the bed its terrible fate should it speak up against you. You've torn off one piece, there are so many more you could tear. Wisely, the bed remains silent"
Using piece of cloth with Door results in "You polish the bars to a lustrous shine. Now you can stare at your reflection in them. You know...as you waste away into nothingness"
Using the Eric's hook attached to cloth with Door results in "Curses! Arbitrarily squishing random objects against this door has failed to grant me freedom!
Using the Eric's hook attached to cloth with Perch rock results in "You dangle the hook over the rock. It hangs there, motionless, silent.
Using Eric's hook (sharpened) with Perch rock without Count Ludwig Koppenploppen results in "You crave some crude graffiti into the rock about pirates and their booty. It momentarily amuses you, but otherwise achieves nothing"
Using Eric's hook (sharpened) with Perch rock with Count Ludwig Koppenploppen results in "You dare threaten me with the sharpened appendage of a seafaring human?""I am not so easily intimidated. I will not flinch in the face of your pathetic attempts to frighten me"
Using Eric's hook (sharpened) with door without consulting with Count Ludwig Koppenploppen results in "I can see you trying to pick the lock, you know?""No, you can't""I'm right here!""Urgh,FINE! I mean, you do realise there's a massive hole behind me, so escape is trivial, right?""What?""What Dee-de-dee, nothing to see here"
Using Eric's hook (sharpened) with bed with Fish in inventory result in "Careful now, you could blunt the hook on the terrible tog rating"
Using fish with Fishing spot results in "I offer this sacrifice to thee, oh mighty crab overlords.""The crabs are utterly ambivalent about your offering""That was fruitless. Oh no! I dropped the hook with the fish. I regret all my decisions."
Using fish with door results in "You throw the fish through the bars with gleeful abandon, only for it to land on the other side and to be promptly stolen and eaten by a rat.""Hmm, this gives me an idea, but I need a creature other than a rat to distract these guards"
Using fish with bed results in "I think it's a bit late for that fish to have a nap now"
Using fish with other's door results in "The fish hasn't committed sufficient crimes to warrant jail time"
Using fish with Rat hole results in "Hmm, he doesn't seem interested in fish"
Using Wooden spoon with other's door result in "You play a delightful tune on the door, but otherwise nothing happens"
Using Wooden spoon with pineapple result in "While it looks delicious, I think I need to use this pineapple somewhere else"
Using pineapple with other's door result in "With a whir and a creek, a secret trapdoor opens up in the floor revealing an entire treasure trove of abandoned party hats. Just kidding! Using a pineapple on a door obviously does nothing"
Using pineapple with Rat hole result in "No matter how hard you shove, you can't fit it in the hole"
Using pineapple with Wilson result in "Why won't this pineapple stick to this rat? What's coming to this world when fruit won't magically adhere to rodents?"
Using cheese sandwich with other's door result in "The prison door isn't hungry"
Using cheese sandwich with Fish result in "Mmmm, a delicious raw fish sandwich... Oh, dear I think I'm gonna throw up *Hlerg huey blehrgle* (sound effect)"
Using cheese sandwich with pineapple result in "It's a bit big to add to the sandwich"
Using cheese sandwich with Rat hole result in "Ouch! The little blighter stole the sandwich from me. If only I had some way of catching it."
Using cheese sandwich with Wilson result in "Wilson eats the sandwich.""I'm not sure what I was expecting there"
Using cheese sandwich with any other objects result in "That seems like it would be a horrible sandwich"
Using Unbaited box trap with door results in "A prison door isn't sufficient bait for anything"
Using bait trap with door results in "The door is already stationary, you don't need a box to trap it"
Using any other objects with the bed results in "The object has a nice little nap, not nothing interesting seems to happen.
Using any other objects with Fishing spot results in "I dread to think what these crabs would do with such an offering"
Using any other objects with Rat hole results in "I've been told off for tryting to squeeze random things into tight holes before"
Using any other objects with Wilson results in "Yeah, Wilson doesn't seem to like me prodding him with that"
Drink the "rum" "No more, please. I'm begging you, oh invisible puppet master, don't make me drink more of this!""1.Yes-dance,my puppet,dance!""Oi,*hic* whosh putsh that there? Stop being there. Rude""Heey*hic*yoush is really really pretty. Give #player a kish"*Slap**I deserv*hic*ed that""Hyyuggh""Zzzzzzz" "2.No-I am a merciful god"Gspbeetle (talk) 16:20, March 21, 2018 (UTC)
Examining the pineapple results in "I've heard it both ways." (copied from talk on pineapple page) Most likely a reference to the tv show Psych, as the main character, Shawn Spencer, is often heard uttering the phrase "I've heard it both ways" when his friend Gus corrects him. And every episode of the show has a pineapple hidden in it. --Jimwormmaster (talk) 13:33, April 30, 2018 (UTC)
Pirate interrogation jokes
- "Why is piracy so addictive?" "The rush of adrenaline as you pillage and plunder?" "They say once you lose yer first hand, ye get HOOKED!" "Wow, dude, joking about people living with handicaps now?" "I know, I'm a terrible person"
- "How do philosopher pirates know that they're pirates?" "They think, therefore they ARRRRRRRR!"
- "Did you hear what happened to the pirate that fell into the Red Sea?" "He got MAROONED" "Where's this Red Sea? I've never head of it before." "Errr, go past the fourth wall and turn left?"
- "How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?" "He bought it on a sail!" "Wow, that's bad" "I regret nothing. I still have more" "Oh gods..."
- "What has eight arms, eight legs and eight eyes?" "Arr, that be the dread sea spider. We do not speak her name in fear she mi-." "EIGHT pirates!" "That's a terrible stereotype"
- "What lies at the bottom of the ocean and switches?" "A nervous wreck." "Oh you know that one"
- "How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?" "A buck'n'ear!" "Why are they paying in deer?" "It's a joke, don't overthink how it fits into the canon." "Why are you putting a poor little deer into a cannon? What kind of monster are you?" "Canon, not cannon" "What?" "Never mind"
- "Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?" "Right where you left him!"
- "Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?" "Because they were standing on the deck!"
- "When you've just got back into Mos Le'Harmless after a long voyage and you're hungry and broke, you know what's criminal?" "The pie-rates!"
- "Have you heard about the cannoneer that couldn't stop messing around on the job?" "Oh Ken. He was burned horribly and-" "He got fired!" "..." "Oh, that actually happened to someone?" "Sorry..."
- "Why was the pirate banned from boxing?" "He had a mean right hook!" "That's... actually better than what I was going to say." "Go on, tell me" "Nah, I'm no boxer myself, I couldn't deliver a better PUNCH line than that" "Damn you"
- "Why can't you tell when the Eastern pirates get food poisoning?" "Hmm... I don't know, why is that?" "because they have invisible salmon-ella!"
- "Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank?" "I don't know?" "Because they'll wash up on shore later!" "Laughing about the death of pirates at sea? That's low, dude, and I'm a decomposing zombie head"
66.6...% Luke's name suggestions
- 2/3 Luke
- Mostly Luke
- More Luke than wood
- Lukey Lukey Luke
- Deck Hand Luke - I'm a bosun
- R Luke
- G Luke
- B Luke
- Y Luke - I'm not a fighting game character!
- Lukely Loo
- Argento - That name's already taken
- Luke Crybalker
- Luke Highwalker
- Luke Eyegawker - Are there anymore like this?
- Luke Lieporker
- Luke Trywalker
- Luke Wrytalker - Ugh, the first three was better
- Tree person - How very creative of you
- Samantha - What? Why Samantha?
- Woodguy Threepbrush
- Major Oak - That's a military rank
- The old man
- Whomping Willow
- Grandmother Willow - I don't even have kids
- Half Bark, No Bite
- Lukey Lumber
- Giles - There's already a Bosun Giles
- Oi Yew - Who me?
- Yes Yew - What?
- Yew over there - Where?
- It's behind Yew - Oh, no it isn't
- The Pa-tree-archy
- The Tree-umphant
- The Sen-tree
- The Gatekeeper
- The Treemaster - Oh, we've got a dead one, here? Cute
- The pirate formerly known as Luke - I'm still known as Luke!
- TPFKAL - Tapfkal?
- [Icon] - As in witchwood icon?
- Shiver Me Timmmmmmbbbeerrrrrrrrrrs
- T.R.E.E - What would that stand for?
- Mod Oak
- Mod Beech
- Mod Ash - I don't want to be banned for impersonating a tree
- Forrest Chump
- Reanimated Copse
- The Lonely Tree - Now I'm sad...
- The Anti-Timbo
- Jungle Jim
- Woods Rogers - Isn't it Woodes
- William Beech
- Jiminy Thicket - I'm a half-real live boy
- Sir Francis Brake
- Black stone Bart
- Henry Morgan - Neither of those first names is 'Luke'
- Justin Timberland - (Yeah!) But no
- Weald-iam Kidd
- Ca-Luke-co Jack
- Long Fen
- Woody Bones
- Anne Bonsai
- Luke McKraken - Do you see any alien mindbenders?
- The Luke-rax