Talking to Iron Doc Mk I[]
- Iron Doc Mk I: You'll do, laddie. We need warm bodies to fight for the resistance!
- Player: Excuse me?
- Iron Doc Mk I: Ah, right. Well I'm from a different universe. It's around Halloween time there too, but ours is a LOT scarier than whatever you've got going on here.
- Iron Doc Mk I: We're beset upon all sides by REAL monsters, and we need help in creating one of our own to help defend our base. You interested? There's plenty of rewards if you do.
- Teleport to this year's Halloween event?
- Yes.
- Iron Doc Mk I: Great! Now, just climb into the cannon and I'll 'teleport' you there.
- (You are 'teleported' just outside of Invention Guild.)
- No.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- Yes.
Talking to Iron Doc Mk II[]
- Iron Doc Mk II: Hey there, laddie. The MDF needs you!
- Player: MDF?
- Iron Doc Mk II: The Mountain Defence Force. We're a rag-tag resistance movement, and the last force for good in Asgarnia.
- Iron Doc Mk II: The Asgarnia in our universe, at least - yours seems just fine. We're so desperate, we're recruiting outside our own universe.
- Iron Doc Mk II: We'll take anyone! If you think you can help, just step on through the dimensional portal over there - the big, purple swirly thing!
Talking to Iron Doc Mk III[]
- Iron Doc Mk III: Ah, good, you came through! Mostly we need your assistance here inside the Invention Guild, but you're free to explore the surrounding area.
- Iron Doc Mk III: Be careful out here, though. It should be safe for now if our barricades hold, but there are threats on all sides.
- (If none of the mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Iron Doc Mk III: And if you do spend any time out here, keep an eye out for some mechanical legs. They're from a little side project I've been working on...
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If one of the mechanical spider legs has been found:)
- Player I've found a mechanical spider leg!
- Iron Doc Mk III: Great! Keep looking for the rest; there should be eight in total.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If two of the mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Player I've found 2 mechanical spider legs!
- Iron Doc Mk III: Great! Keep looking for the rest; there should be eight in total.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If three of the mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Player I've found 3 mechanical spider legs!
- Iron Doc Mk III: Great! Keep looking for the rest; there should be eight in total.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If four of the mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Player I've found 4 mechanical spider legs!
- Iron Doc Mk III: Great! Keep looking for the rest; there should be eight in total.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If five of the mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Player I've found 5 mechanical spider legs!
- Iron Doc Mk III: Great! Keep looking for the rest; there should be eight in total.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If six of the mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Player I've found 6 mechanical spider legs!
- Iron Doc Mk III: Great! Keep looking for the rest; there should be eight in total.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If seven of the mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Player I've found 7 mechanical spider legs!
- Iron Doc Mk III: Great! Keep looking for the rest; there should be eight in total.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- (If all mechanical spider legs have been found:)
- Player I've found all eight mechanical spider legs! I'm not sure why I'm happy about this.
- Iron Doc Mk III: Excellent! Check out my rewards shop. With those eight legs, you can now buy a certain reward from me...if you also have enough 'grey matter'.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
Dr Fenkenbrain's overhead lines[]
(One of the following is randomly seen in 2.5-minute intervals:)
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...a new letter of the alphabet!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...a number between 4 and 5!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...discovering things!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...electric feels!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...inflatable dartboards!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...inner peace!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...my old library card!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...nothing!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...octo-socks!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...religion!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...some mould on my jar!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...the auto-pranktifier!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...the meaning of life!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...the secret of Menaphos!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I have just discovered...umami!
Talking to Iron Doc Mk IV before talking to Dr Fenkenbrain[]
- Iron Doc Mk IV: Hey, thanks for coming, we really need your help. At least, Dr Fenkenbrain here needs it so he can finish his current project, and the MDF needs his work in order to survive.
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain for the first time[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: What is this, Iron Doc? We do not need outsiders! My work shall produce results!
- Iron Doc Mk III: This outsider is here to keep you in check, 'doctor'. Your methods have been growing increasingly worrisome. I'm still not sure how you convinced us to let you aid our cause.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: My methods are only as dark as is required to defeat the enemies we face.
- Player: What have you got me into, Iron Doc? I thought I was just here to help the Mountain Defence Force.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: These are not the dwarves you are looking for. Move along.
- Before Creature of Fenkenstrain
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I said move along. Why aren't you moving along? Is this thing even on?
- Player: I don't know what you're trying to do, but it's not working.
- Iron Doc Mk III: I don't know either, but what he's supposed to be doing is helping the MDF, NOT working on evil experiments.
- After Creature of Fenkenstrain
- Player: Ha, trying to use your old Charos mind trick, Fenk? Yeah, that's not going to work on me.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: What? You know about the ring? But how can I manipulate you?
- Iron Doc Mk III: So you have manipulated your way into the MDF - I suspected as much.
- Player: What is this work? What are you inventing? If you're doing evil experiments, I'm not going to help you.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: It was only slightly evil. I'm a good guy, honest. But, fine, if you'd rather I didn't offend your sensibilities, then let's try something 'nicer'.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: The dwarven resistance is beset on all sides - Black Knights to the south, trolls to the west, goblins to the north and zombies from New Varrock to the east. The mountain is their last bastion.
- Iron Doc Mk III: We, ah, 'liberated' Fenkenstrain here from our enemies and in exchange for his continued freedom, he's been inventing things for us to aid the resistance.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: My current project is to create a new type of soldier - a 'guardian' of sorts, to help defend the mountain. I've been making use of something we scientist call 'divine energy' in a new field of study we call 'invention'.
- (If the player hasn't unlocked Invention:)
- Player: Oh, we have something like that back in my universe. Maybe I can help?
- (If the player has unlocked Invention:)
- Player: Oh yeah - god juice, components, augments. I'm all over that stuff.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Very well, I could use an assistant. You must follow my instructions closely.
- Player: Okay, I'm ready - what are we doing and where do I start?
- Dr Fenkenbrain: We are creating a new type of guardian to protect our mountain base. I have identified four stages to the creation process, plus an additional final testing stage.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: For each stage, I will require your input. No stage should take more than about five minutes of your time.
- Player: Great, what are these things and why do you need me to do them.[sic] Is it because of things I have that you might not?
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Precisely.
- Player: I'm happy someone recognises my wealth of experience and knowlege[sic].
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I was thinking more along the lines of arms and legs, but whatever gets you helping.
- Player: Oh, right. So, what are the stages?
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I shall walk you through each one by one. Let us begin with...
- (Continues with description of stage 1.)
Talking to Iron Doc Mk IV after talking to Dr Fenkenbrain[]
- Iron Doc Mk IV: You should really talk to Dr Fenkenbrain about this latest experiment. He knows what needs doing.
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain about stage 1[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Stage 1: Parts Sorting! Within the chamber to our west you will find four parts bins, and a patented invention of mine - the automated disassembler!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I need you to rummage through the four bins to throw suitable parts into the hopper. The machine will take it from there, disassembling those parts into the raw components we'll need for my new creation.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: I will shine a spotlight on the parts bin I need you to be sorting through at any given moment, in order to obtain the desired components needed for my next experiment.
Accessing an activity too early[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Wait, come back here. We're not ready for that yet!
Accessing an activity after finishing it[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: You've done that part already!
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain about stage 2[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Stage 2: Housing Assembly! Within the chamber to the north-west you will find the Stitch-o-tron 5000. It will build a housing for us, in which we can install components from parts sorting.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Raw parts enter on a conveyor belt and pass beneath the stitching arm. I will need you to regulate its speed - what is required will change over time, so listen clearly to the instructions you are given.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Once in the chamber, sit on your Apparatus to Regulate Speed Efficiently and pedal as fast as you are instructed. Once a housing has been completed, return to me.
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain about stage 3[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Stage 3: Divine Entanglement! Within the chamber to the north-east are four huge vats filled with the four different types of divine energy, as gathered by the dwarves here.
- Player: Wait, FOUR types of divine energy? We only have one back home, which came from Guthix.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Don't be silly, Guthix isn't dead, he's sleeping. That's the myth, at least. He evicted all the lesser gods, draining away most of their divinity as he did so, scattering it across the land.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: We've since classified four types of energy: chaotic, lawful, good and evil.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: It is incredibly difficult to balance these four types to create truly neutral energy, but it is necessary to obtain the required level of divinity to achieve success.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Each of the four vats has a flow control valve and a pressure release switch. Once in the chamber, turn on the flow for all four vats to begin.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Once that is done, keep an eye on them - if you ever see their flow rates drop, give the relevant control valve another turn, and if steam starts coming out of one, hit its pressure release switch.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: You need to obtain optimal flow on all four vats for long enough to generate the required divine blend. Once that is done, return to me.
Starting stage 3[]
- Player: Okay, that's all four valves open. Now to keep an eye on things...
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain about stage 4[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Stage 4: Static Charging! Within the chamber to the east you will find a static charging plate. When you pass the railing you will automatically don some zombie-skin boots and begin 'skating' around the plate.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: This generates static charge, which will be collected by the capacitor at the end of each lap. This collected 'e-lec-tri-ci-ty' - think of it as portable lightning - will be used to give new life to our creation.
- Player: Oh, you have electricity here too? Where are all the cave goblins?
- Dr Fenkenbrain: What's a cave goblin? None of those here. A deep-reaching MDF scouting party discovered the means to generate electricity in a ruined underground city south-east of here.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: For each lap you complete, any positive charge you have generated will be collected by the central battery. Once that has reached 100% charge, return to me for the final stage.
Starting stage 4 with a follower[]
- Player: A sign on the wall says that followers aren't allowed in the charging area due to health and safety regulation 45b, subclause 5.
Starting stage 4 with something worn in the feet slot[]
- Player: I can't start this activity while wearing anything on my feet!
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain after stage 4[]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Excellent! Now we have everything we need to create our new guardian! Once it is ready, I will need you to head into the basement for a spot of analysis.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Science is not just about discovery and creation, we must also test our results to ensure we understand our accomplishments.
- Player: And how would I go about testing a re-animated, augmented, semi-divine, lightning-powered guardian.[sic]
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Well, you could try hitting it with a really big stick, see how well it does at guarding itself.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Or I suppose if you're not the violent type, you could use the various testing apparatus down in the basement.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Whatever your approach, return to me once you have finished testing our new creation.
Fighting the god construct[]
Beginning of the fight[]
- God construct: What...is this?
- God construct: What have you...done?
- God construct: The voices...in my...head. The pain...
- God construct: You did this to us? HOW?...why?
- God construct: For this, you must die.
- God construct: I WILL EXTINGUISH YOU![sic]
During the fight[]
(The god construct says one of the following randomly:)
- God construct: The voices...in my...head. The pain...
- God construct: I WILL EXTINGUISH YOU![sic]
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain after defeating the god construct[]
- Player: What have you created? It's a mostrosity[sic]! It was some ungodly chimeric collection of godly parts. I'm going to have nightmares for weeks!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: It's a failure, is what is is. That it didn't kill you is all the proof I need. Oh, well, back to the drawing board.
- Player: Well, I AM the World Guardian - that might have someth- Wait, you want to make another one?
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Of course! I have been given a job and I shall see it through. This mountain will not be safe until it has a capable protector.
- Dr Fenkenbrain: This invention lark isn't a perfect science. So, the last guardian may have been less useful than a giant cat-eagle thing, but the next one will be perfect!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: From this point onwanrds, I shall begin with a new experiment each day. If you help me to complete all five stages each new day, then you shall earn grey matter more efficiently!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: You are free to repeat any of the four preparation stages as often as you desire; however, you will receive less grey matter in doing so.
- Congratulations! You have completed the Invention of Disaster quest!
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Feel free to sort, stitch, entangle or charge as you like, or just come back tomorrow to begin a new experiment!
Talking to Dr Fenkenbrain after the quest[]
- (If the daily stage 1 has not been completed:)
- Dr Fenkenbrain: You haven't yet collected the components I require from the parts sorting room.
- (Continues below.)
- (If the daily stage 2 has not been completed:)
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Could you regulate the Stitch-o-tron 9000, please? We need a new housing.
- (Continues below.)
- (If the daily stage 3 has not been completed:)
- Dr Fenkenbrain: How about some divine entanglement for me? Head to the divine energy pumping room.
- (Continues below.)
- (If the daily stage 4 has not been completed:)
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Were you planning to charge the generator any time today? Get that static going.
- (Continues below.)
- (If the god construct is not ready to fight:)
- Dr Fenkenbrain: Feel free to sort, stitch, entangle or charge as you like, or just come back tomorrow to begin a new experiment!
- (If the god construct is ready to fight:)
- Dr Fenkenbrain: You still haven't tested today's new experimental guardian...
Talking to Iron Doc Mk IV after the quest[]
- Iron Doc Mk IV: Hey, thanks for helping out Fenkenbrain and keeping him honest. It's a shame that the last experiment didn't work, though.
- Iron Doc Mk IV: Anyway, you must at least have been inspired by your efforts. I have some things you might be interested in - want to take a look at Iron Doc's Junk?
- Look at Iron Doc's Junk?
- Yes.
- (Iron Doc's Junk opens.)
- No.
- (Dialogue terminates.)
- Yes.
