Headless arrow 5
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Reason: Missing any changes resulting from Spria replacing Turael after WGS, misc dialogue options
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This transcript involves dialogue with Ava, Alice, Alice's husband, Cow1337killr, Turael, Spria, Old Crone, Helda, and Sneaky undead fowl.

Starting Out

  • Ava: Hello there and welcome to my humble abode. Its sadly more humble than I'd like, to be honest, although perhaps you can help with that?
  • Player: I would be happy to make your home a better place.
    • Ava: Yay, I didn't even have to talk about a reward; you're more gullible than most adventurers, that's for sure. Don't worry, though, I just need you to help fix this vile old bed for me. Then, I'll find a suitable reward for you.
    • Player: Great, will I be able to take a nap in it?
    • Ava: Don't be silly; everyone knows that true warriors don't ever sleep, or perform many other bodily functions, for that matter. I'll come up with something, though.
    • Player: I'm not convinced by just a vague something, can you be a slight bit more inspiring in your offer?
    • Ava: What I need is simple: a couple of undead chickens. You should be able to pick some up at the farm near Port Phasmatys. I'll use one for my bed, then see what I can make from the other in the way of a reward. I have some ideas involving infinite feathers.
    • Player: Very well then, I shall await my mystery prize with bated breath.
  • Player: I'm not much into interior design, to tell the truth.
    • Ava: Very well, I suppose I'll just have to resort to the Professor's patented sleeping aid in order to get some rest. It does so bruise my head, though.
  • Player: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
    • Ava: I'm not a nice girl. I'm a respectable scientist researching the interactions between ghosts and the force of pure science. I took over the position of assistant the the Professor upstairs, although, to be honest, his methods are somewhat eccentric. Did you head about the Ernest scandal?
    • Player: Ah, yes. I helped sort that out; he did seem a bit odd.
    • Ava: You don't know the half of it - can you believe that he thinks he has proven Goldbach's First Conjecture using an optimised segmented sieve?
    • Player: Er, quite, Yes.

Talking to Ava again

  • Ava: Do you need a reminder what you are supposed to do? I know you must have shiny beads distracting you, but it is an important job you are doing for me.
  • Yes, please
    • Ava: ...And people say we scientists are absent minded... You need to fetch 2 undead chickens for me to use in my redecoration. It's not rocket science.
    • Player: Rocket?
    • Ava: If they existed, they would be like arrows but much, much bigger. Considering the mess you rangers make with small bits of stick, we scientists have decided they don't exist. Now get chicken hunting.
  • Player: No, thank you, I just came to gossip with you.
    • Ava: Well, the Witch next door has been cooking some rather nice gingerbread, but I don't think that counts as gossip. Can you head off and do adventurous stuff, please? I hear the Wilderness is fun this time of year.

The alive undead chickens

The Problem

Talking to Alice

  • Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
  • What are you selling?
    • Non-quest dialogue
  • Can you give me any Farming advice?
    • Non-quest dialogue
  • I'm okay, thank you.
    • Non-quest dialogue
  • Player: I'm here about a quest.
    • Player: I am after one of your, er, unhealthier poultry. Could you help me?
      • Alice: You need those useless, undead chickens? How odd you adventurers are. You need to talk to my husband, though - not that I can these days.
      • Player: Whyever would this be?
      • Alice: Can't you see, he is dead. I can't talk to the dead.
      • dialogue ends

Talking to Alice's husband

  • Player: Your animals don't look too healthy.
  • If wearing Ghostspeak amulet
    • Alice's husband: It's that fountain thingy in the temple to the east. It's turned them all into zombies.
    • Player: What use are zombie animals?
    • Alice's husband: None at all, mate, except those worshippers that at that temple keep comin' and killin' 'em for all their bones. Don't ask me why.
    • Player: But you're a ghost - surely you know something about it.
    • Alice's husband: I don't know nuthin'. Oim a simple ghost with simple needs. All I know is, years ago, that temple started glowing green and, a few months later, I woke up dead. That's all there is to it. I do miss the wife though; tell 'er I still loves her.
    • Player: Would I be able to buy some of your chickens?
    • Alice's husband: Talk to my wife and I'll think about it.
    • dialogue ends
  • If not wearing Ghostspeak amulet
    • missing

Talking to Alice's husband again

  • Alice's husband: 'Ave you talked to the wife for me?
  • Player: Not yet, I've been distracted by the thought of undead cow milk.

Talking to Alice again

Talking to her about the quest

  • Player: I'm here about that quest. I have a message from your husband. He wants you to know that he still loves you, despite his ghostly state.
  • Alice: The curse of undeath was so cruel, all the men out here succumbed, but Lyra and I were left alive. Ever since that day, I've not been able to speak to him. Tell him I love him but I can't find our savings. I know he had our collection of gold and 'prize cow' rosettes just before the curse struck.
  • Player: I'll have a word with thim, then, magic has its uses I suppose.

Talking to Alice again about the quest

  • Player: I'm here about that quest.
  • Alice: Have you spoken to my husband yet?
  • Player: I'm working on it.

Talking to Alice's husband again

  • Player: Your wife says she needs the family cash and wants to know what you did with it.
  • Alice's husband: Tell 'er I spent it on cheap spirits, har har.
  • Player: Your sense of humor died too, it seems.
  • Alice's husband: Hah, just trying to lift your spirits.
  • Player: I rest my case.
  • Alice's husband: Suit yerself, stick-in-the-mud. Anyway, Oim not one o' them yokels. Tell 'er I putted the cash in the bank like she always told me to. A warning to ya, too: annoy her and I'll haunt ya till yer hair turns white.

Talking to Alice's husband again

  • Alice's husband: Any luck wiv me wife?
  • Player: Nothing new, no.

Talking to Alice again

Talking to her about the quest

  • Player: I'm here about that quest. Your husband says he put the bash in the bank.
  • Alice: I'll need his bank pass, in that case.
  • Player: Can't you just take a ghostspeak amulet? Then you could talk to him directly.
  • Alice: I tried that once, but all those other ghosts - and even the undead chickens and cows - scared me so much, I wouldn't try it again for all the cash in Varrock bank.

Talking to her again about the quest

  • Player: I'm here about that quest.
  • Alice: Have you asked him about the bank pass?
  • Player: Not yet.

Talking to Alice's husband again

  • Player: You may not believe me, but she wants me to find your bank pass now.
  • Alice's husband: Maybe she said that, maybe she didn't. I think you're just after me savings. Tell 'er that no one but a fool gives away their pass numbers. Go tell 'er now, if you're not a double-dealin' scammer, that is.

Talking to him again

  • Alice's husband: 'Ave you talked to 'er?
  • Player: Not since we last spoke.

Talking to Alice again

Talking to her about the quest

  • Player: I'm here about that quest. He says he won't trust me with the bank pass. What if I gave some sort of altered ghostspeak amulet to him - surely that would work?
  • Alice: You're so clever; I've overheard passing adventurers say that there's some witch near here who changes ghostspeak amulets. I think she lives a bit west of that mad Professor Fenksomething, past the farming patch.
  • Player: I'll see if I can find her. Big nose and monstrous hat, I assume? I wonder where the beautiful young witches hide...
  • Alice: Mysterious indeed, but in this case she actually looks pretty normal.

Talking to her again about the quest

  • Player: I'm here about that quest.
  • Alice: Have you found a way for me to talk to my husband yet?
  • Player: I've not progressed at all, I'm afraid.

Talking to Alice's husband again

  • Player: I talked to your wife and thought that if you had a special amulet, you could speak to her and sort out the bank situation without me being involved.
  • Alice's husband: Arr, that makes far more sense than I was expecting from a muscle-head like you. My wife's a clever one.
  • Player: Well...oh, never mind. I'm working on getting the amulet anyway.

Obtaining the amulet

  • Player: I'm here about Necrovarus
    • Irrelevant to quest
  • Player: I'm here about the farmers east of here.
    • Player: Alice and her husband are having trouble talking to one another and aid you might be able to help.
    • Old Crone: Ah, I know them, shame about those cows. Why would they think that I could help?
    • Player: Alice seems to think you could alter a ghostspeak amulet in order to allow them to communicate. In addition, when I was attempting to thwart Necrovarus, you created a new type of amulet for me. I thought that perhaps you might also do so on this occasion.
    • Old Crone: Well, the poor young lady has such family problems, I quite feel her pain. I'd be happy to help. You seem to have one of her golden hairs on your shoulder, so I can use that...
    • If you don't have a ghostspeak amulet
      • Old Crone: Talk to me again with a ghostspeak amulet and some space in your backpack and I'll be ready to work on this little good deed. The way I plan is quite simple, really. I can mirror part of the unused mystical essence of the ghostspeak amulet, bind it with Alice's hair and thus create a second amulet. The second amulet will be useful for the purpose you desire, though it won't work for any other ghost or human other than the farmer and his wife.
      • dialogue ends
    • If you have a ghostspeak amulet
      • missing

Talking to Old Crone about farmers with ghostspeak amulet and space in backpack

  • Player: I'm here to see if you are ready to do your mystical stuff with my ghostspeak amulet.
  • Old Crone: I most certainly am; there you go.
  • Player: Wow, that was quick and painless.
  • Old Crone: Just being a good neighbor

Talking to Old Crone again about farmers

  • Old Crone: Yes?
  • Player: Well, to tell the truth, I just came back to chat with you. Any news?
  • Old Crone: Discraceful! Deliver that amulet, a young lady's happiness depends upon it.

Delivering the Amulet

Talking to Alice

Talking to Alice about the quest

  • Alice: Have you handed him an enhanced amulet?
  • Player: I have obtained the amulet, I just haven't handed it over yet. So, it's looking good!

Talking to Alice's husband

  • Player: I talked to your wife and thought that if you had a special amulet, you could speak to her and sort out the bank situation without me being involved.
  • Alice's husband: Arr, that makes far more sense than I was expecting from a muscle-head like you. My wife's a clever one.
  • Player: Well... oh, never mind. I'm desperate enough for those chickens to let that pass.
  • Alice's husband: Give me that amulet, then, and we'll be seeing about your unnatural desire for chickens.
  • Player: Okay, you need it more than I do, I suppose.
    • Alice's husband: Ta, mate.
    • Player: Lucky we had such a brilliant idea,
  • Player: I don't think I'm ready to hand it over yet.
    • dialogue ends

Talking to Alice's husband again

  • Alice's husband: Ahhh, many thanks. Now what was it you were wanting again?
  • Player: I need a couple of your chickens.
  • Alice's husband: Chickens is tricksy, 'specially dead 'uns. I'll have to catch 'em for ye.
  • Player: They look pretty pathetic; how hard can it be?
  • Alice's husband: Stand back while I catches 'em, ya city slicker.
  • Cutscene
  • Alice's husband: Here, chicky chicky!
  • Alice's husband: Git 'ere, yer pesky bird!
  • Alice's husband: Where'd she go?
  • Alice's husband: Git orf my laaand!
  • Alice: You heard my husband: leave now!
  • Cow1337killr: Always the same; I can never get these animals to myself.
  • Alice: You killed Bessie!
  • Cow1337killr: Buying cowhides and feathers - ahh, that chicken is next; feathers for me!
  • Sneaky undead fowl: Woo woo!
  • Sneaky undead fowl: Woo woo woo!
  • Player: Well, that's one way to catch a chicken, I suppose.
  • Cutscene ends

Talking to Alice's husband again

  • Alice's husband: Hello, how can I help you? I'm sellin' if you have ecto-tokens.
  • Player: Could I buy those chickens now, then?
    • Alice's husband: I can hand over a chicken if you give me 10 of them ecto-token thingies per bird.
    • Player: Could I buy 1 chicken now?
      • Alice's husband: Ta, some day soon I'll be having a nice undead bed to kip in.
    • Player: Could I buy 2 chickens?
      • If you don't have enough ecto-tokens
        • Alice's husband: I'm not a charity here, ya know. Bad enough all you cow-killing folks are a'slaughterin' me beasts. Come back when ya have enough tokens.
      • If you have enough tokens
        • Alice's husband: Great! I'm laying away me tokens for some killer cows. That'll learn them bone rustlers.
    • Player: Your animals don't look too healthy; I'll buy elsewhere.
      • Alice's husband: har har, how many ghost chicky farmers d'you know, den?
  • Player: Your animals don't look too healthy.
    • Alice's husband: It's that fountain thingy in the temple to the east. it's turned them all into zombies.
    • Player: What use are zombie animals?
    • Alice's husband: None at all, mate, except that those worshippers at that temple keep comin' and killin' 'em all for their bones. Don't ask me why.
    • Player: But you're a ghost - surely you know something about it.
    • Alice's husband: I don't know nuthin' about nuthin'. Oim a simple ghost with simple needs. All I know is, years ago, that temple started glowing green and, a few months later, I woke up dead. That's all there is to it.
  • Player: I'm ok, thank you.
  • Player: Where can I get these ecto-tokens?
    • Alice's husband: The ghosts I talk to say that the tokens have something to do with the tower just east of here. If you need to collect some I'd try there.


The Next Task

  • Ava: My spiritometric devices show that you have been in close contact with ghostly animals. Are we closer to success?
  • Player: Here they are.
  • Ava: Amazing! Success! I can look forward to some good nights' sleep after all.
  • Player: Can I ask exactly how an undead chicken will help you sleep?
  • Ava: Well, I need the feathers to make my bed more comfortable. A comfortable bed will help me sleep. Obvious, really.
  • Player: Obvious, yes, but why on RuneScape would you need an undead chicken when there are perfectly good live chickens just down the road?
  • Ava: Well, for a start, undead feathers are much cleaner than living ones; no dust mites or anything. Secondly, I always think of Ernest when I see a chicken, so my nerves can't take killing them.
  • Player: Then why do I need a chicken for my reward; we already established that I don't use a bed?
  • Ava: Seeing as how you ranger types use so many feathers in your arrows, I was thinking I could harness an undead chicken to make an unending supply of arrow flights for you.
  • Player: Beats chicken slaying or hanging around fishing shops, I suppose. So, what next?
  • Ava: We'll need a magnet next, one with purely natural fields and made from a carefully selected iron bar. A firm impact when the iron is parallel to RuneScape's field will stabilise this field in the rod.
  • Ava: Go and talk to the Witch next door.

Speaking to Ava again

  • Ava: Go and talk to the Witch next door. She'd talk the hind legs off a donkey but she can select the iron with which it is suitable for the chicken to interact.
  • Ava: Despite my extensive studies, her years of experience make her better at instinctive magico-mystical interaction. Oh well, at least I'm cleverer, prettier and will have a better bed.
  • Player: Okay, okay, you're great. Yes, I'll go and talk to her when you've finished praising yourself.

Helpful Helda

  • Helda: Hello, hello, my poppet. What brings you to my little room?
  • Player: Ava told me to ask you about making magnets. Something about natural fields and other stuff. Sounded like she needed a farmer, to be honest.
  • Helda: Don't worry, deary, I can tell you just what to do and you won't have to worry your pretty head about the complicated bits.
  • Player: No need to patronise me quite so much, you know.
  • Helda: I went to anger management classes, my lambkin; that's why I was treating you so kindly. It's either this way of talking or I'll go back to shoving children into ovens.
  • Helda: Just bring me 5 iron bars, though, and you’re well on the way to never having to talk to me again.
  • Player: I’ll be back.

Speaking to Helda again

  • Player: I am back.
  • Helda: Oh, but sugarpie, I need 5 iron bars, you don’t have any. Come back to me quickly with all 5 of them.

Speaking to Helda with the bars

  • Helda: Great, you’ll go far! I made some nice painted metal toys for you, snookums.
  • Player: Toys? Snookums? What are you on about, you deranged old bat?
  • Helda: Oh, forget it, then. If you won’t react to kindness, I’m back to luring infants into my oven. You’ll have it on your own conscience.
  • Helda: Go to the iron mine just north-east of Rimmington and hit the bar with a plain old smithing hammer while facing north. Then take your new magnet to Ava. Poor girl, having to deal with whippersnappers like you.

Speaking to Helda again

  • Helda: You were sent to try my patience, weren’t you? Go away and make that magnet, then hand it to Ava.

I earned this bar

Hammering the bar in the mine

  • You hammer the iron bar and create a magnet.

Speaking to Helda after creating the magnet

  • Helda: Hoorah for you, you have the magnet. Just hand it over to Ava. I’m working on my new recipe for spit-roast adventurer, so disturbing me isn’t wise.

The bark has bite

Handing the magnet to Ava

  • Player: I’ve manufactured the magnet; here it is.
  • Ava: Great stuff! With the Witch’s influence within the magnet, the undead chicken can use this, I’m sure.
  • Ava: The plan is that the chicken will operate the magnet to attract bits of iron and steel, maybe even your own recently fired arrows. There are plenty of totally lost arrowheads lying about in the fields of RuneScape, I bet.
  • Ava: In addition, arrows which you fire should be able to be attracted back to your quiver by the cunning avian.
  • Player: I begin to understand your plan. We’ve covered feathers and arrowheads now; what next?
  • Ava: We need a source of wood, but one which is spiritually active and can regenerate itself. That will save you some hatchetwork in the future.
  • Ava: Try using a hatchet on the pesky trees in the garden here, the ones that attack rather than the really dead ones. They are probably just the sort of thing we could use.
  • Player: They will try to kill me, though, and I can’t fight back!
  • Ava: Now you know how those poor guards feel when you hide behind mushrooms and fences and attack them from afar! Anyway, I reckon you’ll need to try a mithril or better hatchet on the trees. At least the trees are pretty close.
  • Your work with the magnet increases your Crafting experience slightly.

Hacking at the tree

  • The hatchet bounces off the undead wood. I should report this to Ava.

Returning to Ava

  • Player: Well, I tried to hack the trees with my hatchet, but it just bounced off the trunk! It did all seem all-too-convenient to work on the first try.
  • Ava: Fortunately for you, I’ve done some research and it seems to suggest that there are two choices open to you.
  • Player: Tell me the worst.
  • Ava: The first is more interesting. We cut off your arms, have them reanimated as undead, reattach them and then you should be able to cut the trees normally.
  • Ava: Of course, you won’t be able to pick your nose anymore, so I suppose you’ll want to try the second option.
  • Player: I’m not exactly addicted to picking my nose, but I do think I’ll pass on that method.
  • Ava: Well, in that case, I think it may have something to do with Slayer abilities. After all, I did see Turael and his daughter poking around the trees while I was moving in.
  • Ava: As he’s not known for his random touristic activities, you should try chatting with this Turael or his daughter, Spria. He’s the Slayer Master near Burthorpe and she was last seen heading off on some army mission.
  • Ava: Maybe one day I’ll head out too – to test my experimental weapons on fearsome foes.
  • Player: Oh dear, I hope he doesn’t want me to buy one of his ridiculous fashion accessories. Those earmuffs he sells make heroic adventurers into a laughing stock.

A slayer's perspective

Speaking to Turael about a quest.

  • Player: I’m here about a quest. Ava said she saw you hanging around the moving trees near Draynor Manor.
  • Turael: Ahh, you came to the right place; odd things, those trees. What is it you are needing exactly?
  • Player: I think I need some of the wood from them, but my hatchet just bounced off the trunk.
  • Turael: Sounds like you need a blessed hatchet. No one really makes them, though, these days.
  • Turael: Blessed hatchets are too soft to cut normal wood since the hatchet’s edge must be replaced by holy silver. I can do you a favour, though.
  • Turael: If you can give me a mithril hatchet and a holy symbol of Saradomin I can let you have my hatchet. I’ll make myself a new one when no one is pestering me for Slayer tasks.
  • Player: Okay, so I’ll see whether I can spare a hatchet and a symbol. Thanks.

Returning to Turael with the hatchet and symbol

  • Player: Hello, I’m here about those trees again.
  • Turael: I can make a hatchet for you now, if you wish. Remember, it will be no use for normal woodcutting after I have added the silver edge.
  • Player: I’d love one, thanks.
    • Turael: Here's a new hatchet; may it serve you well.
  • Player: Not right now.
    • Missing

Chopping the tree with the blessed hatchet

  • Chopping an undead tree
  • You cut some undead twigs.

Research and development

Delivering the twigs

  • Player: I have that undead wood at last. Well, twigs anyway.
  • Ava: You certainly took your time.
  • Player: I’d say they didn’t grow on trees, but I guess you’d just be sarcastic about my sense of humour.
  • Ava: Quite. Now that we have all the ingredients for infinite arrows, we just need a container in which we can keep the components in the correct mutual alignment.
  • Ava: I’ve gathered together some research notes from various sources but I can’t quite make out what they mean. If you want to have a go at making them out, just ask me for a copy.

Speaking to Ava again

  • Player: I’d like to look at those research notes now, unless you have translated them without me?
  • Ava: They are still stumping me. Here are the notes; I really hope your head doesn’t explode from reading them.
  • Player: I’d find it slightly inconvenient, I’m sure.
  • Ava: It wouldn’t be all bad as your body would be useful for research after death. What I’d be upset about was if bits of you landed in my nice new bed.
  • Player: Your concern is touching.

Translating the notes

Attempting to translate the notes

  • You fiddle with the notes

Asking Ava for a hint

  • Player: I have the notes but haven’t translated them yet. Any hints?
  • Ava: I know you have the notes; I gave them to you, in case you forgot! Furthermore, if I had hints, I’d have translated those notes myself.
  • Ava: So, take the hint and go off and translate them. If it’s too hard, you can always go and shoot demons in cages.

Translating the notes

  • It suddenly all makes sense

The final component

Handing in the notes

  • Player: I’ve translated those notes. See? I’m not just a thuggish moron like you seem to think.
  • Ava: For all I know, it was pure luck, so don’t jump to any conclusions about your mighty intellect.
  • Player: I can see why you don’t have any assistants; you’re not exactly easy to work with,
  • Ava: Let’s get back to the work we’re doing, then. Remember, this is all a favour to you; I could have just decided to fob you off with a feather duster.
  • Ava: I’ve given you a pattern for the container; you’ll need to combine them with some polished buttons and hard leather. Then we’re almost done. Good news, eh?
  • Ava: If you are having trouble finding buttons, I’ve heard rumours that the H.A.M. society carry this sort of stuff more than most.
  • Player: Really? How would you know this strange detail?
  • Ava: I hear they lose their clothes a lot to thieves so they have to make do with shoddy goods. Whatever the reason, they seem to carry buttons about in their pockets.

Speaking to Ava again

  • Player: So what do I do with this pattern again?
  • Ava: Your short-term memory worries me. Combine the pattern with hard leather and some polished buttons, then hand the resulting container to me.

Delivering the container

  • Ava: Wow, great, now the arrow manufacturer is ready for use…there you are! Talk to me if you need more information later.
  • Congratulations! Quest complete!
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