Transcript of Animal Magnetism

This page contains dialogue related to Animal Magnetism. The content below is copied verbatim from RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

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This transcript involves dialogue with Ava, Alice, Alice's husband, Cow1337killr, Turael, Spria, Old Crone, Helda, and Sneaky undead fowl.

Starting Out

• Ava: Hello there and welcome to my humble abode. Its sadly more humble than I'd like, to be honest, although perhaps you can help with that?
• Player: I would be happy to make your home a better place.
  • Ava: Yay, I didn't even have to talk about a reward; you're more gullible than most adventurers, that's for sure. Don't worry, though, I just need you to help fix this vile old bed for me. Then, I'll find a suitable reward for you.
  • Player: Great, will I be able to take a nap in it?
  • Ava: Don't be silly; everyone knows that true warriors don't ever sleep, or perform many other bodily functions, for that matter. I'll come up with something, though.
  • Player: I'm not convinced by just a vague something, can you be a slight bit more inspiring in your offer?
  • Ava: What I need is simple: a couple of undead chickens. You should be able to pick some up at the farm near Port Phasmatys. I'll use one for my bed, then see what I can make from the other in the way of a reward. I have some ideas involving infinite feathers.
  • Player: Very well then, I shall await my mystery prize with bated breath.
• Player: I'm not much into interior design, to tell the truth.
  • missing
• Player: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
  • Ava: I'm not a nice girl. I'm a respectable scientist researching the interactions between ghosts and the force of pure science. I took over the position of assistant the the Professor upstairs, although, to be honest, his methods are somewhat eccentric. Did you head about the Ernest scandal?
  • Player: Ah, yes. I helped sort that out; he did seem a bit odd.
  • Ava: You don't know the half of it - can you believe that he thinks he has proven Goldbach's First Conjecture using an optimised segmented sieve?
  • Player: Er, quite, Yes.

Talking to Ava again

• Ava: Do you need a reminder what you are supposed to do? I know you must have shiny beads distracting you, but it is an important job you are doing for me.
• Yes, please
  • Ava: ...And people say we scientists are absent minded... You need to fetch 2 undead chickens for me to use in my redecoration. It's not rocket science.
  • Player: Rocket?
  • Ava: If they existed, they would be like arrows but much, much bigger. Considering the mess you rangers make with small bits of stick, we scientists have decided they don't exist. Now get chicken hunting.
• Player: No, thank you, I just came to gossip with you.
  • Ava: Well, the Witch next door has been cooking some rather nice gingerbread, but I don't think that counts as gossip. Can you head off and do adventurous stuff, please? I hear the Wilderness is fun this time of year.

The alive undead chickens

Talking to Alice

• Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
• What are you selling?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Can you give me any Farming advice?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm okay, thank you.
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Player: I'm here about a quest.
  • Player: I am after one of your, er, unhealthier poultry. Could you help me?
    • Alice: You need those useless, undead chickens? How odd you adventurers are. You need to talk to my husband, though - not that I can these days.
    • Player: Whyever would this be?
    • Alice: Can't you see, he is dead. I can't talk to the dead.
    • dialogue ends

Talking to Alice's husband

• Player: Your animals don't look too healthy.
• If wearing Ghostspeak amulet
  • Alice's husband: It's that fountain thingy in the temple to the east. It's turned them all into zombies.
  • Player: What use are zombie animals?
  • Alice's husband: None at all, mate, except those worshippers that at that temple keep comin' and killin' 'em for all their bones. Don't ask me why.
  • Player: But you're a ghost - surely you know something about it.
  • Alice's husband: I don't know nuthin'. Oim a simple ghost with simple needs. All I know is, years ago, that temple started glowing green and, a few months later, I woke up dead. That's all there is to it. I do miss the wife though; tell 'er I still loves her.
  • Player: Would I be able to buy some of your chickens?
  • Alice's husband: Talk to my wife and I'll think about it.
  • dialogue ends
• If not wearing Ghostspeak amulet
  • missing

Talking to Alice's husband again

• Alice's husband: 'Ave you talked to the wife for me?
• Player: Not yet, I've been distracted by the thought of undead cow milk.

Talking to Alice again

• Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
• What are you selling?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Can you give me any Farming advice?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm okay, thank you.
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm here about a quest.
  • Player: I'm here about that quest. I have a message from your husband. He wants you to know that he still loves you, despite his ghostly state.
  • Alice: The curse of undeath was so cruel, all the men out here succumbed, but Lyra and I were left alive. Ever since that day, I've not been able to speak to him. Tell him I love him but I can't find our savings. I know he had our collection of gold and 'prize cow' rosettes just before the curse struck.
  • Player: I'll have a word with thim, then, magic has its uses I suppose.

Talking to Alice again

• Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
• What are you selling?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Can you give me any Farming advice?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm okay, thank you.
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Player: I'm here about that quest.
  • Alice: Have you spoken to my husband yet?
  • Player: I'm working on it.

Talking to Alice's husband again

• Player: Your wife says she needs the family cash and wants to know what you did with it.
• Alice's husband: Tell 'er I spent it on cheap spirits, har har.
• Player: Your sense of humor died too, it seems.
• Alice's husband: Hah, just trying to lift your spirits.
• Player: I rest my case.
• Alice's husband: Suit yerself, stick-in-the-mud. Anyway, Oim not one o' them yokels. Tell 'er I putted the cash in the bank like she always told me to. A warning to ya, too: annoy her and I'll haunt ya till yer hair turns white.

Talking to Alice's husband again

• Alice's husband: Any luck wiv me wife?
• Player: Nothing new, no.

Talking to Alice again

• Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
• What are you selling?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Can you give me any Farming advice?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm okay, thank you.
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm here about a quest.
  • Player: I'm here about that quest. Your husband says he put the bash in the bank.
  • Alice: I'll need his bank pass, in that case.
  • Player: Can't you just take a ghostspeak amulet? Then you could talk to him directly.
  • Alice: I tried that once, but all those other ghosts - and even the undead chickens and cows - scared me so much, I wouldn't try it again for all the cash in Varrock bank.

Talking to her again

• Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
• What are you selling?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Can you give me any Farming advice?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm okay, thank you.
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm here about a quest.
  • Player: I'm here about that quest.
  • Alice: Have you asked him about the bank pass?
  • Player: Not yet.

Talking to Alice's husband again

• Player: You may not believe me, but she wants me to find your bank pass now.
• Alice's husband: Maybe she said that, maybe she didn't. I think you're just after me savings. Tell 'er that no one but a fool gives away their pass numbers. Go tell 'er now, if you're not a double-dealin' scammer, that is.

Talking to him again

• Alice's husband: 'Ave you talked to 'er?
• Player: Not since we last spoke.

Talking to Alice again

• Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
• What are you selling?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Can you give me any Farming advice?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm okay, thank you.
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm here about a quest.
  • Player: I'm here about that quest. He says he won't trust me with the bank pass. What if I gave some sort of altered ghostspeak amulet to him - surely that would work?
  • Alice: You're so clever; I've overheard passing adventurers say that there's some witch near here who changes ghostspeak amulets. I think she lives a bit west of that mad Professor Fenksomething, past the farming patch.
  • Player: I'll see if I can find her. Big nose and monstrous hat, I assume? I wonder where the beautiful young witches hide...
  • Alice: Mysterious indeed, but in this case she actually looks pretty normal.

Talking to her again

• Alice: Hello. How can I help you?
• What are you selling?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• Can you give me any Farming advice?
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm okay, thank you.
  • Non-quest dialogue
• I'm here about a quest.
  • Player: I'm here about that quest.
  • Alice: Have you found a way for me to talk to my husband yet?
  • Player: I've not progressed at all, I'm afraid.