Talking to Chuck

First time

  • Player: Hi Chuck. How's it going?
  • Chuck: Ah, Player. It's good to see you again.
  • Choose an option:
    • Back to the Freezer Quest
      • Player: Any news of the penguins, Chuck?
      • Chuck: Funny you should ask. I've just had word from two PBJ agents that are on an observation mission. They've reported that there's been some unusual activity on the iceberg. Perhaps you could go and speak to them, and find out what's happening?
      • Quest interface opens.
        • Not right now
          • Chuck: Oh. Well come back if you change your mind.
        • Accept quest
          • Chuck: Splendid! The agents are called Skot and Mundsen, and are located in Rellekka. You may have difficulty spotting them, with their exceptional disguises! Go and strike up a conversation with them, and report back to me when you have more information... Oh, I almost forgot, you'll need a passphrase...
          • Player: Ok, I'm ready.
          • Chuck: The weather [holiday destination] is [weather] and [food] are to die for.
    • Some Like It Cold Quest
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • Penguin Hide and Seek
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • I've lost the clockwork book, could I have another?
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • I lost the ransom letter the Walrus sent you, could I have another?
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)


  • Player: Hi Chuck. How's it going?
  • Chuck: Ah, Player. It's good to see you again.
  • Choose an option:
    • Back to the Freezer Quest
      • Player: Erm Chuck, could you remind me what the passphrase was?
      • Chuck: Please remember it this time...
      • Chuck: The weather [holiday destination] is [weather] and [food] are to die for.
      • Player: Thanks, I won't forget this time.
    • Some Like It Cold Quest
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • Penguin Hide and Seek
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • I've lost the clockwork book, could I have another?
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • I lost the ransom letter the Walrus sent you, could I have another?
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)


Talking to Mundsen or Skot

(Mundsen and Skot share some of the dialogue.)

  • Player: Hmm, Chuck said to strike up a conversation. I wonder... Excuse me. Could I borrow a tinderbox?
  • Mundsen/Skot: I use a firelighter.
  • Player: They do say they're better...
  • Mundsen/Skot: I'm thinking of taking a holiday...
  • Select options for passphrase. (Correct options vary by player.)
  • Player: The weather [holiday destination] is [weather] and [food] are to die for.
    • (If incorrect options were chosen:)
      • Mundsen/Skot: I don't like the sound of that holiday very much.
    • (If the correct options were chosen:)
      • Skot: That does sound like an excellent holiday destination. What can we do for you?
      • Player: Hello. Chuck sent me to find you. He said the penguins are up to something?
      • Mundsen: Indeed. There's been an abnormal amount of activity on the iceberg of late.
      • Player: In what way?
      • Skot: Penguins running around here and there. Lots of banging noises. It's all very suspicious.
      • Mundsen: We heard from an inside source that Pescaling Pax is plotting to permanently lower the temperature of Geilinor.
      • Player: Oh no!
      • Mundsen: Perhaps you should go over there and find out what's happening?
      • Player: Why don't you two go?
      • Skot: Oh we're much to import- er, busy. Yes busy.
      • Player: Fine. Hey can you feel that rumbling?!
      • Cutsene shows T.A.R.D.I.S. launching from the iceberg and crashing into the desert.


  • Player: What did I just see?!
  • Skot: It looked like some sort of a flying blue box... I think it might have gone all the way to Pollnivneach!
  • Mundsen: The penguins must have finished whatever they were doing. Maybe you should get to Pollnivneach and find out what's happening.
  • Player: Why don't you two go?
  • Skot: We uh, left our warm weather gear at home.
  • Player: ...

Returning to Chuck

  • Player: Hi Chuck. How's it going?
  • Chuck: Ah, Player. It's good to see you again.
  • Choose an option:
    • Back to the Freezer Quest
      • Player: I met the two PBJ agents, they said that Pescaling Pax is plotting to permanently lower the temperature of Gielinor! I was just about to head to the iceberg to check things out when we saw a blue box take off from there! It landed in the desert, Chuck!
      • Chuck: Well, what are you doing wasting time here? Get after them!
      • Player: Yes sir!
    • Some Like It Cold Quest
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • Penguin Hide and Seek
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • I've lost the clockwork book, could I have another?
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)
    • I lost the ransom letter the Walrus sent you, could I have another?
      • (Non-quest dialogue.)

The Desert

Talking to penguins

(All the penguins have same dialogue, including Elon, Emperor Wing, Gordon, Hugh, Lara, penguin henchman, and Rose.)

  • [Penguin]: SQWARK!

Investigating T.A.R.D.I.S.

  • Player: There's a small sign on it. It reads: Terraforming Arctic Refrigeration Dispersing Ice Spreader. Maybe this is how the penguins are planning to lower the temperature of Gielinor. Maybe I should see if anyone in the area saw what happened.

Talking to Dundee

  • Dundee: Hello there young adventurer!
  • Choose an option:
    • (Only before talking with Croc:)
      • Ask about the penguins.
        • Player: Did you see what happened here?
        • Dundee: I'm afraid I didn't. I was bus talking to this croc here, and when I turned around, there was a load of penguins and ice everywhere!
        • Player: You can talk to crocodiles?!
        • Dundee: Course! Got my trusty crocspeak amulet here!
        • (If the player doesn't have the crocspeak amulet yet:)
          • Player: Could I try it out?
          • Dundee: Sure, take my spare.
          • (Returns to the initial options.)
        • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • What are you doing here?
      • Dundee: I'm studying the crocodiles in the area of course!
      • Player: But why?
      • Dundee: They really are fascinating creatures! Some of them have razor sharp wit!
      • Player: But aren't they quite vicious? How come one hasn't eaten you yet?
      • Dundee: Don't be silly, crocs are incredibly misunderstood. They're very gentle when you get to know them!
      • Player: I see... Do you think maybe you've been out in the desert a bit too long. Could I get you some water?
      • Dundee: No, no adventurer, don't you worry about me!
      • Player: ... If the crocodiles don't get him, the jackals will...
      • Dundee: I'm sorry, did you say something?
      • Player: Er, nothing!
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • (Only if the crocspeak amulet has been lost:)
      • Crocspeak amulet.
        • Dundee: You'll be wanting this if you're planning on talking to crocs.
        • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Bye.
      • Dundee: Cheerio!

Talking to Croc

Without Crocspeak amulet

  • The crocodile gives you a piercing stare.

With Crocspeak amulet in inventory

  • Player: I should equip my Crocspeak maulet if I want to talk to him.

With Crocspeak amulet

First time
  • Player: Er...Hello?
  • Croc: Oh no... oh no...
  • Player: What's wrong, brown croc?
  • Croc: I don't like the cold. Please don't let them make it cold.
  • Player: There, there. Calm down. It'll probably just melt soon.
  • Croc: No, they have a machine, and it keeps spitting out ice...
  • Player: Yes, I saw...It seems to be some sort of terraforming machine.
  • Croc: If only someone could have prevented this from happening... If I could turn back time, I'd find a way to make sure it didn't happen again.
  • Player: Time travel? But if that was possible, plot points could be reverted... And any narrative dead-end could be resolved with a cheap flick of the time-travel reset switch... Or something like that... Anyway, perhaps I'd better report back to Chuck.
  • Croc: Oh, you know Chuck? I like Chuck, he's sure to know what to do.
  • Select an option
    • Talk about the penguins.
      • Croc: You didn't manage to stop the penguins machine yet? I'm so cold...
      • Player: Not yet Croc. But don't worry, I'm working on it! Just think warm thoughts for now!
      • Croc: Oh, I hope you can stop it.
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Talk about Chuck.
      • Player: So, you know Chuck eh?
      • Croc: Yes, back in the day when I was a resident at the zoo. Those were the days of our lives, the bad things in life were so few. Chuck was always talking about penguins and their crazy schemes. I didn't quite believe him, until now.
      • Player: What happened? How did you end up here?
      • Croc: I felt the call of the wild, you know? I needed to find... something... So when the keeper came to feed me one day, I gave him the gentlest of nips, and made a run for it. I've climbed the highest mountains, I've run through the fields...but I still haven't found what I'm looking for...
    • You look different to the other crocodiles.
      • Croc: Old age, a cold zoo and a hot desert. They play havoc on the skin!
    • Bye.
      • Croc: Farewell.
  • (Shows the options from the first time.)

Investigating T.A.R.D.I.S. again

  • Player: There's a small sign on it. It reads: Terraforming Arctic Refrigeration Dispersing Ice Spreader. Maybe this is how the penguins are planning to lower the temperature of Gielinor. I should tell Chuck about this.

The secret-secret agent

The Ardougne Zoo
  • Player: Chuck, I've got some more information about the penguin activities.
  • Chuck: Go on...
  • Player: They've built something called a Terraforming Arctic Refrigeration Dispersing Ice Spreader, or T.A.R.D.I.S. for short. It's landed in the desert and is now slowly changing the desert to an arctic tundra!
  • Chuck: That's very worrying indeed! Did you get a get a good look at this T.A.R.D.I.S. device?
  • Player: I couldn't look too closely, there were several penguins wandering nearby. But I did speak to an old friend of yours, called Croc?
  • Chuck: Ah Croc, he used to live here in the zoo. He escaped a long time ago, but it's good to know he's still out there.
  • Player: Croc was complaining that with all the ice that was coming out from the T.A.R.D.I.S. the desert was cold, and he wasn't very happy. Is there anything we can do?
  • Chuck: Well, we do have one option. A while ago a PBJ agent was tasked with infiltrating extreme penguin cells. This group of penguins in the desert sounds pretty extreme, so maybe the agent is with them. He may be able to provide us with more information.
  • Player: What's the agent's name?
  • Chuck: His identity is so secret that even I don't know.
  • Player: Oh...So how will I find him?
  • Chuck: You'll need to talk to the penguins in the desert and see if you can work out which is the undercover agent. The only thing I do know about him, is that his favourite food is sardines. Maybe that'll be some help. I suggest you take your penguin disguise with you, otherwise the penguins won't talk to you.
  • Player: But how will I be able to get into the disguise by myself?
  • Chuck: The agent should have a device with him that will allow you to shrink into your disguise when you're nearby.
  • Player: Ok Chuck, I'll see what I can do...
North-east of Pollnivneach

Lara and Rose (same dialogue):

          • Player: Hi!
          • Lara: Oh, hello!
          • Player: It's rather warm out here isn't it?
          • Lara: That's because it's the middle of the desert, silly! Doctor Hugh has tasked me with making sure everyone stays cool... Make sure you take regular breaks and stay out of the sun where possible!
          • Player: Right...

Penguin henchman:

            • Penguin henchman: Is there anything I can do for you?
            • Player: I'd love some ice cream...
            • Penguin henchman: Sorry, we're all out of ice cream. We've got plenty of ice cubes though?
            • Player: Aw. I'll pass, thanks.

Emperor Wing:

  • Emperor Wing: Ah! It's the pilot. We wondered where you'd got to.
  • Player: I er, banged my head. I went to lie down... I don't really remember what happened.
  • (Option 1: Remind me what happened.)
  • Emperor Wing: We brought the T.A.R.D.I.S. here to begin the process of lowering the temperature of Gielinor. However, something went wrong, and we crash landed here. Now the T.A.R.D.I.S. is malfunctioning. It was to be a glorious and epic mission. We had a party before we left, to send us on our way. We were each served our favourite fish. There was mackerel, sardines, shrimp and anchovies. We were supplied with emergency items, just in case, that would help us with our mission. There was black ice, vanilla ice, cyan ice, and yellow snow.
  • (Option 2: What happened to you at the party?)
  • Emperor Wing: I didn't pay much attention to anyone else, but I had Mackerel, it was delicious.


  • (Option 1: Remind me what happened. Same dialogue as Emperor Wing's Option 1.)
  • (Option 2: What happened to you at the party?)
  • Gordon: It was a great evening. Luckily I didn't have to eat any anchovies! We were all given some emergency items. I lost mine, but I can tell you that Hugh had Cyan Ice.


  • (Option 1: Remind me what happened. Same dialogue as Emperor Wing's Option 1.)
  • (Option 2: What happened to you at the party?)
  • Hugh: I'm not a fan of parties, I mostly just sat in a corner reading some medical books. I do remember noticing one of the guys doing some pretty bad dancing. He had yellow snow in one hand, and some shrimp in the other.


  • (Option 1: Remind me what happened. Same dialogue as Emperor Wing's Option 1.)
  • (Option 2: What happened to you at the party?)
  • Elon: Don't you remember how much we laughed at the navigator getting given Vanilla Ice? What help is that going to be?
Dialogue if penguin is not a spy

(Penguin 1:)

  • Player: Are you a spy?
  • Penguin 1: What did you say?
  • Player: Er...would you like a piece of pie?
  • Penguin 1: Oh...Maybe later.
  • Player: ... Phew, that was close. Finding the PBJ agent is a bit of a puzzle, I need to consider the clues more logically...

(Penguin 2:)

    • Player: Are you a spy?
    • Penguin 2: Pardon?
    • Player: Er...I said, I think I might cry.
    • Penguin 2: That'll be the sand getting in your eyes. There's some eyewash in the T.A.R.D.I.S. you can use.
    • Player: ... Phew, that was close. Finding the PBJ agent is a bit of a puzzle, I need to consider the clues more logically...

(Penguin 3:)

      • Player: Are you a spy?
      • Penguin 3: Excuse me!?
      • Player: Er...I said, it's very dry...
      • Penguin 3: Well, that's deserts for you.
      • Player: ... Phew, that was close. Finding the PBJ agent is a bit of a puzzle, I need to consider the clues more logically...
Penguin agent dialogue
  • Player: Are you a spy?
  • Penguin Agent: Shhh! Not so loud! Who are you? You look familiar...were you on the T.A.R.D.I.S.?
  • Player: I don't understand...
  • Penguin Agent: Never mind. What do you want? How do you know who I am?
  • Player: Chuck sent me to find you. What's happening here?
  • Penguin Agent: The penguins have been building a doomsday device in a secret bunker underneath their base. You can see it here, it's the Terraforming Arctic Refrigeration Dispersing Ice Spreader, or T.A.R.D.I.S. for short. Its purpose is to change the whole of Gielinor to be a permanently frozen arctic tundra! As you can see, things haven't gone quite to plan, and we landed in the desert. But the machine is still gradually turning the desert into a giant ice rink!
  • Player: Oh no! If only there was some way to stop them...
  • Penguin Agent: We can't sabotage the T.A.R.D.I.S. while the crew and these henchmen are around, but there may be another way... There's a device back at the iceberg I've been working on during my 'Twiblick All-day Passion Projects' time.
  • Player: What's that?
  • Penguin Agent: Oh, it's time we're allocated to work on our own things. The things we're really passionate about!
  • Player: Sounds what have you been working on?
  • Penguin Agent: It's called a De-lore-ing device.
  • Player: What does it do?
  • Penguin Agent: Well, put simply, it's a temporal displacement device.
  • Player: Huh?
  • Penguin Agent: It makes time travel possible...
  • Player: Wow!
  • Penguin Agent: You could go to the secret bunker on the iceberg, and use the device to travel back in time. My past self will be able to help you. Maybe together we can stop this from happening.
  • Player: Wait, why can't you go?
  • Penguin Agent: If I leave here, my cover will be blown. And besides, I can't risk bumping into my past self!
  • Player: Fine...I'll help.
  • Penguin Agent: Great! I've hidden the De-lore-ing device in my locker. There's also some other bits around the place that'll help you finish it.
  • Player: It's not even finished?
  • Penguin Agent: Don't be grumpy, it'll be fun! Here, take this device, you can use it to locate the bunker. You'll also need the CHIP and FIN entry code: ****
  • Player: Ok thanks!
    • Penguin Agent: Did you find the secret bunker yet?
    • Player: No, I got distracted...

Time Travelling

Talking to Ping and Pong in "Fin-inor"
  • Ping: Dude, are we glad to see you.
  • Pong: Yeah man, it's bodacious.
  • Player: What is this place, what am I doing here?
  • Ping: Check it out, he doesn't even perceive his location as Fin-inor!
  • Pong: Whoa, that's most non non non excellent.
  • Player: Fininor, you mean Gielinor? Wait, nevermind, what are you two up to?
  • Ping: Dude, we're famous rock stars!
  • Pong: Outstanding rock stars in the band Chilled Unicorns!
  • Player: No way?
  • Ping: Yes way! We had a most excellent journey becoming unrivalled musicians.
  • Pong: We've come a long way from the iceberg and practicing in an igloo!
  • Player: So what happened, why are you in a pillory instead of partying?
  • Ping: Well we were popularising our new album and performing on our most resplendent tour ever.
  • Pong: And I was getting totally famished.
  • Ping: And that's when we bit the head off a fish on stage!
  • Pong: I was ravenous bro, but they took offence because because it was on a national holiday called 'Darkness.'
  • Ping: Then security chaperoned us off stage forthwith.
  • Pong: And they thrust us in this enclosure to decompose.
  • Player: That seems very egregious dudes, I mean unfair.
  • Ping: Yeah, especially when we should be composing new material for our comeback!
  • Pong: They even threw our instruments over there to taunt us.
  • Player: I'll check it out and see what I can do. Hang in there.
  • Ping: Catch you later!
  • Pong: Party on for us dude!
Talking to Man (Rune Pickaxe) and Man (Dragon Pickaxe) in Mining Guild"

(Man with Rune Pickaxe:)

  • Man 1: Must mine ore.
  • Man 2: I hope I do not break my pick axe.
  • Man 3: Work work.
  • Man 4: I am not a robot.
  • Man 5: My mining level is: **

(Man with Dragon Pickaxe:)

  • Man: My Er Mining level is...Argh a talking penguin! I mean shhuuussshhhhh, keep you voice down...
  • Player: What's going on?
  • Man: I was sent here to investigate these 'people' if you can call them that.
  • Player: What's wrong with them?
  • Man: Well, they're all doing the same thing, and behaving very oddly. Almost like they've lost their minds and have become drones or robots or something.
  • Player: Can I help?
  • Man: Well, I've tried distracting them by throwing things but nothing happens. As my mum used to say, if it's not working, give it a kick! Perhaps you can try?

The past secret bunker

Talk to Noodle
  • Player: Noodle! Is that you?
  • Noodle: Hey, how di' u get in 'ere?

(Option 1: What's going on down here?)

    • Noodle: Dat's need to know bruva, but I got it easy tho... Only lot 'ere r all dem science boffs who come up wif plans 'n' mad strats 'n' stuff for takin' over th' wurld.
    • Player: Right...
    • Noodle: Lots of blue ice finkin goes on down 'ere. An I'm in charge of protektn da place. Simple wif' my uva set o'skillz.
    • Player: Wow, I guess you guys have been busy. Though, I guess humans have been blissfully ignoring us since changing to the 6th age and all.
    • Noodle: What new age? U gon made? Dis is da fif' age mate.
    • Player: Yeah, sorry I knew that. Do you know anything about a T.A.R.D.I.S?
    • Noodle: Yes mate, pays ter keep yer ears to da walls. It's the latest fling in global coolin' Nearly fini-ished 'n all.

(Option 2: What have you been up to?)

    • Noodle: Long story mate, but after gettin' outta the can, I needed another job, you know jus' fur sho'. Gets the fuzz off me back, and workin' 'ere 'as sum perks.
    • Player: Glad you landed on your flippers.
    • Noodle: Rite, back to bizness. Only jokin', I just mess around all day cuz I sorted out sum top notch security for dis place.
    • Player: Yeah, about that...
    • Noodle: Tis impregnable mate, unlike sum fins I no!

(Option 3: We should talk about your security...)

    • Noodle: Wot 'bout ma security!
    • Player: Well, apart from using a G.P.S. device to locate the hidden hatch access, I literally entered the most common 4 digit 'fin' number. Bam, first try!
    • Noodle: Lucky guess! Anyway, can't change it nah, took long nuff for pengwins to 'member dis one.
    • Player: Right...
    • Noodle: 'member mate, if I find aut dat u've been sharin' that code 'n' grassin', u'll be takin a long flap off a short pier.
    • Player: But penguins can swim...
    • Noodle: Di' I mention dat u'd be wearin' concrete boots 'n' all?
    • Player: Alright, alright! Calm down, let's not be too hasty now.

(Option 4: How's your erm brother and his business?)

    • Noodle: Bizness is good man, we'f been branchin' aut, security mainly, cos we got lots of experience!
    • Player: Well, I'm guessing that you don't need me to do any favours then?
    • Noodle: Oh, I'd not forgotten 'bout dat mate. I've got sum ideas when we get back to de Motherland. Gonna need you to bring me some supplies for my new bizness ventures.
    • Player: Dare I ask?
    • Noodle: Well, I'm gonna get into racketeerin' once I gets me some rackets. N' I've already dun some vote riggin' for som' bloke wif blon 'air...
    • Player: Is that it?
    • Noodle: Yeh, 'cept I was finkin' about loanin' sharks, but I ain't fand anyone who wan's one yet.

(Option 5: Are we not doing ID cards anymore?)

    • Noodle: ID Cards? Nah, dere yousless mate.
    • Player: Well, that's good, given certain penguins kept losing them, and forgery and fraud rates were quite high.
    • Noodle: Keep yer voice down, feds are still listnin' in, so don' mention words like dat, or u'll get us all in truble.
    • Player: You really think they're listening in? Have you considered a different shape or you know, not making it out of easily fabricated 'card'?
    • Noodle: Too much hassl'. So I wen' wif dis new Chip 'n' Fin tech, and my bro hit me up wif de gear. Got it fur a steal!
Talk to Penguins (Choose A Generic Conversation Starter...)

(Option 1: The office party)

  • Player: Hey, that was really good right?
  • Penguin: Yeah, the T.A.R.D.I.S. pre-launch party last night was pretty cool. Bit soon if you ask me, there's still loads to do!
  • Player: Back to work then.

(Option 2: The scaffolding)

  • Player: Hey, what's with all the scaffolding?
  • Penguin: How could you have missed it? It's all part of the bunker refurbishment. Ice white was last year, it's all about grey stone these days.
  • Player: Should be good then.

(Option 3: The food)

  • Player: What's with the food these days?
  • Penguin: I know right. I'm tired of fish everday, it'd be nice to have something else for a change.
  • Player: I could eat Macaroni Penguins and Cheese every day!
  • Penguin: That sounds good, wait, don't you mean Penguin Macaroni and Cheese?

(Option 4: Recent events)

  • Player: What's going on?
  • Penguin: Did you hear about Gordon's most recent experiment?
  • Player: No, what happened?
  • Penguin: I can't believe you didn't hear about it, we thought he'd died!
  • Player: Really?
  • Penguin: Yeah, Gordon's alive though, mainly down to Dr Hugh, Rose, and Lara's quick thinking!
  • Player: Phew! How did they save him?
  • Penguin: They used the de-fin-brilator of course.

(Option 5: The weather)

  • Player: Have you seen the weather outside?
  • Penguin: Yeah, it's too warm for my liking. Other than that, the conditions are perfect for launching the T.A.R.D.I.S., if its ever finished.
  • Player: Would it be affected by the heat of say the desert?
  • Penguin: Probably, the desert is far too hot for penguins like us. Mind you, once the T.A.R.D.I.S. is fully operational over Gielinor, we'll have it cold and frozen in no time!
Talk to Penguin (Submarine research area)
  • Player: Hey, how's it going?
  • Penguin: I can't believe it's been 1,667 days since our last accident. We're due a party on the fields of ice if we keep this safety record up!
Talk to Filip (War room)
  • Player: Hello?
  • Filip: Oh good, are you here for the presentation?
  • Player: Erm, no?
  • Filip: Ok then, when you change your mind I'll be here!
Talk to Emperor Wing (Main research facility)
  • Emperor Wing: There's no time for chit-chat lad/lassie! We've got work to do! Hop to it!
  • Player: Yes sir! Right away sir!
Talk to Lara (Chill-out room)
  • Player: Hello.
  • Lara: Hi there!
  • Player: So...nice weather down here...
  • Lara: Yep
  • Player: Well, I best be getting along.
Talk to Rose (Chill-out room)
  • Player: Hi there!
  • Rose: Hello!
  • Player: So...what do you do here?
  • Rose: I'm one of the doctor's assistants.
  • Player: That's nice... Well, I best be getting along.
Talk to Penguin (Chill-out room)
  • Player: Hey, how's it going?
  • Penguin: You look familiar, did I meet you before at the company jolly up the coast at Tenner Reef?
Talk to Gordon (Gordon's laboratory)
  • Gordon: Who are you and how did you get in here?!
  • Player: My name is **** and I'm from the 6th age, your De-lore-ing device worked and you sent me back here to change the future.
  • Gordon: Slow down, slow down...tell me what happened.
  • Player: Whatever it is you were - I mean- are - working on here succeeds, but it crash landed in the desert and has started churning out ice to send Gielinor back to the freezer! I met you in the 6th age, and fixed your De-lore-ing device to allow me to come back here and stop it from happening.
  • Gordon: 6th age you say? But this is the 5th age. What happens? NO! WAIT! DON'T TELL ME!
  • Player: Guthix - no wait - I shouldn't tell you anymore than you need to know. We need to stop the device from leaving this base by destroying it somehow!
  • Gordon: You do realize that if we destroy it, we wouldn't have met and you couldn't have come back to stop it.
  • Player: But we must stop it from freezing the world!
  • Gordon: No, we must ensure the device is finished so we don't cause a time loop or paradox.
  • Player: You're right, how far along is the device and what can we do?
  • Gordon: Well we've had some supply problems and issues finding parts. You'll need to speak to Elon to find out more and see if you can help him. Meanwhile, I'll think of something to try and break out of this loop and stop it happening over and over.
  • Player: Ok, I'll go and find Elon.
Talk to Elon (Main Research Facility)
  • Player: Hi, Gordon sent me, do you need some help?
  • Elon: So much to do...but sure, if you can find some things for me that would be a great help.
  • Player: Sure what do you need?
  • Elon: I've got a list, have a read and see what you can get hold of. You may need to go on a dangerous mission amongst humans to find some of the parts.
  • Player: Ok, I'll take a look, and see what I can source.
  • Elon: Remember, Humans are dangerous.
Talk to Buzz (Prison)
  • Buzz: Buuuuzzz!
    • (Buzz senses that you're not like the other penguins...)
  • Buzz: Buuzz buuuuzzzzz buzzz buuzzzzz buzz buuuuzzzzzz, buzzzz.
  • Player: You've been here for ages and the most interesting conversation you had was with a Polar Bear?
  • Buzz: Buzzz buuuzzz buzz buuuuuzz buzzzzz buuzzz buuuuuuzzzzzzzz!
  • Player: What's that Buzz, they've been trying to extract energy from you?
  • Buzz: Buz buuuzz buuzz buzzzzzz buuzzzzzzzz.
  • Player: A gift for me?
    • (Buzz hands *** 21 Killerwatt Energy)
  • Buzz: Buz buuuzz buuzz buzzzzz buuzzzzzzzz.
  • Player: I can get more energy from your friends, but they won't be so willing to hand it over?
  • Buzz: Buuzz buuzzz buuuzzzz buzz.
  • Player: Can I get you out of here? I'll see what I can do. Stay positive.

Return to the present

Talk to Elon (Main Research Facility)
  • Elon: So much to do...Oh it's you, how's the search for the things on the list going?
  • Player: I've brought you the 121 Killerwatt Energy. I've brought you the 'Fishvention' Rod. I've brought you 1985 lemon sole runes. I've brought you a Cool-ant. I think I've got everything...
  • Elon: Excellent! It shouldn't take too long to get these installed. While I do that, would you mind calibrating the energy supply at the battery controlled panel? You'll need to supply it with some sort of energy first...
  • Player: What kind?
  • Elon: Hmm. Well, there's the tricky part. All energy sources we've tried so far have failed to give sufficient power to the T.A.R.D.I.S. We need something stronger, more concentrated... Something with flickering, bright, sparkling, gleaming qualities... As if it was the life-force of a God! But I don't know where we'd find such a thing!
  • Player: I have an idea... maybe some different types of divine energy would do the job?
  • Elon: What's divine energy?
  • Player: Er...nevermind, pretend you didn't hear anything! How much energy do you need?
  • Elon: It's hard to say for sure, but I think a total of 200 units, split equally amongst different types of energy, should suffice.
  • Player: Ok, I'll be back soon.
    • Player: I finished calibrating the machine.
    • Elon: Good work young penguin! I've finished installing everything, the T.A.R.D.I.S. is ready to go! Please, inform Gordon and Hugh, and then report to Emperor Wing so that we can leave!
Talk to Gordon (Gordon's Laboratory)
  • Player: The T.A.R.D.I.S. is complete, we should prepare to leave!
  • Gordon: I'll be right there, I just need to put my prototype De-lore-ing device in a safe place!
  • Player: Ok...But make sure it's somewhere I can find it in the future!
    • Gordon: Keep your flippers on, I'm coming.
Talk to Hugh (Chill-out room)
  • Player: The T.A.R.D.I.S. is complete doc, we should prepare to leave!
  • Hugh: I'll be right there, I'll just get my two assistants!
Talk to Emperor Wing (Main research facility)
  • Player: Sir! The T.A.R.D.I.S. is complete, and the crew is ready!
  • Emperor Wing: Good. Good. Excellent! Er...****? I've not quite finished my pilot training... Can you fly this T.A.R.D.I.S., and land it?
  • Player: Surely yoiu can't be serious?
  • Emperor Wing: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.
  • Player: Er...sure. What's the worst that could happen?
  • Emperor Wing: Great!
The Ardougne Zoo
  • Player: I travelled back in time, and...
  • Chuck: Let me stop you right there, Gordon's sent a report over to me, I know all about it.
  • Player: Oh... But I don't understand... Gordon sabotaged the T.A.R.D.I.S. in the past, but it still landed in the desert and is making the area cold... Nothing changed!
  • Chuck: Don't you see? The T.A.R.D.I.S. was already harmless when it landed, because it had already been sabotaged!
  • Player: But what about all the ice? What about Gielinor?
  • Chuck: Gielinor will be fine. The T.A.R.D.I.S. isn't working to full capacity, so the heat from the desert will keep the ice level under control.
  • Player: What about Croc, he'll still be cold?
  • Chuck: I'm sure he'll adapt. Besides, there's a whole wide desert he can explore.
  • Player: Oh...
  • Chuck: Don't be sad, have some rewards for your trouble.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.