This transcript involves dialogue with Orlando Smith, Charlie the Tramp, Katrine, Jonny the Beard, Ping, Pong, Moira, Baraek, Straven, Lowe, Molly, and Skeleton clerk.
Starting Out[]
- Orlando Smith: G'day mate, I was wondering if you'd be interested in an adventure I've been plotting. Ever heard of the Shield of Arrav?
- After Shield of Arrav
- Player: Heard of it? I won it back from the gangs.
- After Defender of Varrock
- Player: Heard of it? I defended Varrock with it!
- After Shield of Arrav
- Orlando Smith: I think you've been at the booze, mate! No-one's seen it for years. The Sheild of Arrav would've been a great help against Zemouregal. Back before Zemouregal won, the Shield of Arrav was the prize piece of the museum. I'm looking to get the shield back where it belongs. We'll have to keep it on the down-low, though, mate. Zemouregal has ears everywhere. I'll make it worth your while, if you're interested.
Quest Dialogue pops up
- Orlando Smith: Zemouregal's converted the west and east banks into private treasure vaults, and put half of the Shield of Arrav in each. The two halves used to be held by the Black Arm Gang and Phoenix Gang. You should see if the gangs want revenge by retrieving them.
- If you joined the Black Arm Gang in real Varrock
- Player: I know where the Black Arm gang is. They're in the south-west corner of the city.
- If you joined the Phoenix Gang in real Varrock
- Player: I know where the Phoenix Gang is. They're in the VTAM Corporation building at the south city wall.
- Orlando Smith: Ya better hop to it, mate! See what help you can get from them, then. Any other questions?
- Tell me about the Shield of Arrav.
- Orlando Smith: Cheers for asking mate! I've been trained for this very question! Ahem! The shield once belonged to Arrac the Weak. once he was dispatched by Great Zemouregal, the Shield of Arrav passed to the museum. In Year 143, the Phoenix Gang broke into the museum and stole the shield in a raid. King Roald put a 1,200 gold bounty on the return of the shield. This was before Zemouregal's reign, when the economy was invigorated by switching to zemomarks. Nobody came forward or claimed the shield, until Masterful Zemouregal occupied Varrock. He took control and searched the city for the shield. Brilliant Zemouregal discovered one hald of the shield had been stolen by the Black Arm Gang, and the other was with the Phoenix Gang. Our Incomparable Overlord executed both gang leaders, raised them anew as zombies, and took both halves of the shield like a total bad-a (can't put real word in wiki, aparently). Apologies, mate - we have to say it that way, or Zemouregal puts us in the ground.
- Why did Zemouregal want the Shield of Arrav?
- Orlando Smith: Keep it on the down-low, but nobody knows for sure, mate. It's rumoured it weakens Zemouregal. Others say that it could weaken his kind, which is why Zemouregal wants it. He's got Reldo the librarian looking for an answer, poring over old tomes in the palace library. For whatever reason, it doesn't seem to work for Zemouregal - lucky for the rest of us. Keep it quiet, though. Shhhh.
- Farewell.
- Orlando Smith: Take it easy, mate.
Black Arm Gang[]
Charlie the Tramp[]
- Charlie the Tramp: Spare a zemomark, guv?
- Can you remind me where the Black Arm Gang hideout is?
- Charlie the Tramp: The Black Arm Gang have their headquarters at the end of this alleyway. Can't miss it. You'll find a lady there called Katrine. She's the leader. Speak to her. They call her Killer Katrine. It's because she likes killing. Imaginative bunch, they are.
- Sorry, I haven't got any.
- Charlie the Tramp: You break my little zombie-tramp heart.
- Get a job!
- Charlie the Tramp: I hope your nose falls off! Then I'd have something to nibble on.
Black Arm Gang HQ[]
Talking to Katrine
- I've heard you're the Black Arm Gang.
- Katrine: Who told you that? I'll kill 'em.
- I'd rather not reveal my sources.
- Katrine: Good. Grasses tend to get cut. So, what do you want with us?
- continues below
- It was Charlie, the tramp outside.
- Katrine: I'll send Slasher Siegfried out to see him. He's got a collection of tongues that could do with a few more exhibits. So, now that we know you're a rat, what do you want?
- continues below
- Everyone knows - it's no great secret.
- Katrine: That ain't good. Guess we're going to have to move on again. Where next for the Black Arm? The Burthorpe trolls are less than friendly, and most of Draynor are vampyres now. *sigh* Still, thanks for the information. What can we offer in return?
- continues below
- What is this place?
- Katrine: It's a private business.
- What sort of business?
- Katrine: We're undertakers. Ask any more questions and I guarantee that your loved ones will be in the ground with a minimum of fuss.
- returns to previous dialogue.
- I'm looking for riches and fame.
- Katrine: Ask any more questions and you'll get stitches and maimed.
- Farewell.
- dialogue ends.
- What happened to your arm?
- Katrine: It ran off and joined the circus. Stop bothering me with ridiculous questions.
- Farewell.
- Katrine: It's been a pleasure. Try not to get stabbed on the way out.
- I need to pull off a bank job.
- continues below
- I want to join your gang.
- Katrine: You think it's that easy? Stabby Stacey had to kill a whole gnomeball team before I let her into the Black Arm. Why'd you want to join the Black Arm, anyway?
- Player: I need to pull off a bank job.
- continues below
- I want some hints to become a thief.
- Katrine: Being a thief ain't that difficult. You don't need to train in Ardougne market, or get those gloves o' silence. A quick stab to the kidneys is the key to nabbing anyone's wallet.
- returns to previous dialogue
- I'm looking for the door out of here.
- Katrine groans.
- Katrine: It's where you came from. Watch your back when you leave.
- returns to previous dialogue
- Katrine: A bank job? Both of the vaults have been converted into Zemouregal's private vaults. They're not open to the public. But if you're looking to rob the Big Z, then you're seven kinds of crazy. What were you thinking of stealing?
- Player: The Shield of Arrav.
- Katrine: That old thing? You know that he's got party hats, an' all the prismatic lamps you can hold, right? Heh. I like yer style. You don't care what anyone thinks. Let me think. you could forge a document of requisition! I even have a forger in the gang. But you'll need to join the Black Arm Gang first. Got to make sure you're not undercover.
- Player: What'll it take to join your gang? A pair of phoenix crossbows, perhaps?
- Katrine: What's a phoenix crossbow? Nah, I want you to get my left arm back. Don't say you didn't notice. It was stolen from me, and the Phoenix Gang have been making inappropriate comments ever since. They keep singing songs at me. 'If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands'. That sort of thing. A Phoenix Gang member has it. Name's Jonny the Beard. He used to be one-armed, but now he's got two, the scumbag. Jonny the Beard hangs out in the Blue Moon Inn. Knock out Jonny, bring back my arm, and we'll talk. Now get outta here.
Blue Moon Inn[]
Talking to Jonny
- Jonny the Beard: I'd give my left arm to join your band.
- Ping: Pong, he's back again.
- Pong: Tell him we don't want groupies.
- Jonny the Beard: I just want to be Jonny the Bard! I play a mean flute!
- Player: Katrine sent me for the arm.
- Jonny the Beard: Not the arm! You'll have to take it from my dead...undead...er, inanimate body.
- Player: Looks like I'll have to fight him for it.
Talking to Jonny again
- Player: I'm going to have to kill you for your arm.
- Jonny the Beard: I won't let you take either of them!
Jonny says various things while fighting you
- Jonny the Beard: You'd attack an unarmed man?
- Jonny the Beard: My arm's big adventure!
- Jonny the Beard: No one wants to be 'armless.
- Jonny the Beard: Jonny be bad!
- Jonny the Beard: No one beats the Beard.
- Jonny the Beard: Here's Jonny!
After the fight
- Player: Had enough?
- Jonny the Beard: Alright, alright, take my arm. Can I keep the good arm, though?
- Jonny reluctantly hands over his severed arm.
Back at Black Arm Gang HQ[]
- I've got your arm.
- You show Katrine the arm.
- Katrine: Ah, the sweet smell of rotting flesh! Hand it over...
- Katrine takes the arm from you
- Katrine stuffs the black arm into her shoulder socket with a sickening squelch.
- Katrine: It's covered in beer. Just how I like it! You can join the Black Arm Gang!
- What is this place?
- same as before.
- What happened to your arm?
- Katrine: My arm came off when I died, if you must know. It was Zemouregal. When the Big Z invaded, he came to us first. Wanted half of some shield that we had in our coffers. I stood my ground. Wasn't going to let him take anything from us.
- Player: I guess that didn't go down too well?
- Katrine: You think? He ripped off my arm and beat me to death with it. But I died fighting, not quivering in a basement like that yellow-belly Straven.
- Farewell.
- same as before
Talking to Katrine again
- I want to join the Black Arm Gang.
- Katrine: We expect total loyalty from our members. If you manange to join the Phoenix Gang, we'll know. We'll chuck you in the River Lum with some fancy concrete socks.
- Join Gang interface pops up.
- Katrine: 'Gratulations! You wanted access to our forger, an' you'll get it. Just talk to Moira in the backroom and say the pass-phrase 'Murderers don't even know that murder happens.'.
- If you have already have a lockpick from a previous play-through
- Katrine: You also get a lockpick, but I see you already have one. Weird. Anyway, it'll let you open locked containers.
- If you don't have a lockpick
- Katrine gives you a lockpick.
- Katrine: Almost forgot. You get a lockpick! Made from Ozan's index-finger bone, it is. It'll let you open locked containers.
- continues below
- Where do I find your forger?
- Katrine: Fair's fair - you wanted a forged document. Speak to Moira, our forger. same as above.
- What is this place?
- same as before.
- Stay back, She's armed!
- Katrine: You think that laughing at a missing arm is funny?
- Player: I'm only having a bit of 'armless fun.
- Katrine: We'll see if you're a stand up comedian when you have no legs.
- continues with "What hapened to your arm?" dialogue
- Farewell.
- same as before.
Knocking at back door
- Moira: What's the pass-phrase?
- Player: 'Murderers don't even know that murder happens.'
Player enters the room.
Back Room[]
Trying to go up the stairs
- Katrine: You in a hurry, eh? We'll let you up there when you finish your probation. For now, you're restricted to ground level.
Talking to Moira
- Player: I need forged documents to claim the two halves of the Shield of Arrav from the Zemouregal's treasure vaults. Can you help?
- She writes something in her own blood on a couple of sheets of paper, and then hands them to you.
- Moira: There you go. Two documents. One for each half of the Shield of Arrav. Take these to the two banks of New Varrock.
Talking to Moira again
- Moira: Get away from me before I give you a nibble. I ain't eaten in weeks.
Phoenix Gang[]
Baraek[]
- Can you remind me where I can find the Phoenix Gang?
- Baraek: Head to the south gate, then take the first turning east. Look out for a gold sign on the wall for the VTAM Corporation. That's the Phoenix Gang hideout. The Phoenix Gang used to live down in the basement below the building, but nobody dares any more. There's something down there.
- Player: Red spiders? Moss giants?
- Baraek: No, no! Worse! Something ancient. Something EVIL, in all capital letters. They say there's a rift down there. Growing, it is. Anyone who sees it goes mad. Anyone who talks to the mad ones go mad. The gang deserves credit for living so close. Anyway, Straven should be somewhere on the ground floor of that VTAM building, close to the south city wall. He's the leader.
Phoenix Gang HQ[]
- I know who you are!
- Straven: Do you now? This should be fun. Who do you think we are?
- Player: This is the headquarters of the Phoenix Gang. You're their leader.
- Straven: Suppose we were this crime gang, and that I was - hypothetically - the leader. What would you want?
- Player: I need to pull off a bank job.
- Straven: A heist? A sting, a filch, a three-bob Jimmy? How interesting. You're aware that all the banks are now Zemouregal's private vaults.
- Player: Yep, I'm aware. I want to steal the Shield of Arrav from Zemouregal's vault.
- Continues below
- Player: I want to join your gang.
- Straven: The Phoenix Gang doesn't let people in willy-nilly. We're too careful for willy-nilly business, you understand? Someone has to prove their loyalty before they can join. Why do you want to join the Phoenix Gang?
- Player: I want to steal the Shield of Arrav from Zemouregal's vault.
- Straven: Well, that's a dangerous proposition. Zemouregal has already killed us once, and it was an unpleasant experience for all involved. But it would be a minor victory against him. No one would enjoy a minor victory more than me. Alright, if you can prove your loyalty to the Phoenix Gang, I'd be willing to forge a requisition document.
- Player: Let me guess. To join your gang, I have to kill Jonny the Beard and bring back a report.
- Straven: Jonny the Beard? No, he's on our side! He recently defected from the Black Arm Gang. He had to steal an arm from the Black Arm leader to prove his loyalty.
- Player: What am I going to have to do to prove my loyalty?
- Straven: As everyone knows, the Phoenix Gang have a mascot.
- Player: A phoenix?
- Straven: It wasn't going to be a honey badger, was it? Yes, a phoenix. It's been stolen. Now, the phoenix is due to expire any day now, but the thieves don't know that. We might even get lucky - it could expire explosively. But the phoenix will have laid its eggs by now. Bring back a phoenix eggling, and you can join the Phoenix Gang.
- Player: Any leads?
- Straven: Lowe, the bow seller, was recently recruited by the Black Arm Gang. No doubt he needed to do something stupid as an initiation. I'd start with him.
- Player: What do I have to do to join the Phoenix gang?
- Straven: Bring back a phoenix eggling. We suspect Lowe, the bow seller east of New Varrock square, has stolen our phoenix.
- Player: Tell me about the Shield of Arrav.
- Straven: That's a blast from the past! We stole that from the museum years ago! Over thirty years ago, the Phoenix Gang were subject to infighting and the shield got broken in half. Shortly after the fight, some gang members decided they didn't want to be part of our gang any more. Katrine and her lackeys split of to form their own gang. The Black Arm Gang. On their way out, they looted what they could from us - which included one of the halves of the shield. We've been rivals with the Black Arm ever since. That was only the start of our troubles. When Zemouregal invaded Varrock, he came after both gangs. He wanted each half of the shield. After he killed Katrine and I, he brought us back as zombies.
- Player: What happened to the shield after that?
- Straven: I don't really know. Zemouregal stored the two halves in separate vaults. Maybe only Arrav can make it work?
- Player: What do I have to do to join the Phoenix gang?
- Player: I wanted to show off that I knew.
- Straven: Well la-di-dah. You've shown off, and now you can shove off.
- Player: I need to pull off a bank job.
- What is this place?
- Straven: This is a private business. As in, ask too many questions and you get kicked in the privates.
- Farewell.
- Straven: Yeah,it's been a highlight of the past few minutes.
Lowe's Archery Emporium[]
- Player: I'm here on Phoenix Gang buisness. Straven suspects you've stolen their phoenix mascot.
- Lowe: Look, just don't cut my head off, okay? It's a zombie's worst fear. Decapophobia, that is. I just needed the phoenix for Black Arm initiation. I don't want it no more. It's yours.
- Player: Alright, where is it?
- Lowe: I made a nest in my workshop. The little fella got hungry after midnight, so I tried feeding it some ashes. That's what phoenixes eat, right? When I came back the next day, the phoenix had...um...multiplied. The adult phoenix is a little...pecky. There should be an eggling up there that is a little less hazardous. Go upstairs and see for yourself. Don't kill me!
- At the workshop
- Player: That shaking egg must contain a phoenix. How to get there without stepping on any other eggs...
- If you step on an egg
- You stepped on an egg and enraged the phoenix.
- First death
- Image of Zemouregal: Wait. I just saw you die in my scrying pool! A pity. You would have made an amusing undead pet.
- Second death
- Image of Zemouregal: Again, you have dodged the touch of Death. You must be more powerful than I thought.
- Third death
- Image of Zemouregal: Dead again? Is it a hobby? Are you doing it for the attention? It has to be on purpose.
- First death
- You stepped on an egg and enraged the phoenix.
- Getting the shaking egg
- You snatch up the egg and escape the workshop.
- Player: One pheonix egg! Time to take it back to Straven, so I can join his gang.
- If you step on an egg
- Player: That shaking egg must contain a phoenix. How to get there without stepping on any other eggs...
Back at Phoenix Gang HQ[]
- Player: I've got your phoenix eggling.
- You show Straven the egg you took from Lowe's workshop.
- Straven: Um. I said eggling, not egg. An eggling isn't a tiny egg, you know.
- Player: That's easily fixed.
- Compliment the egg.
- Player: Who's a good egg?
- Player: Who's the bestest egg?
- Player: Yes, you are!
- The egg seems to stare at you blankly.
- Shout at the egg.
- Player: Hatch! Hatch, you pathetic little embyro!
- The egg seems angry.
- Clap at the egg.
- Straven: It's not as impressive as our old mascot, but it's cute as a button. Alright, you've proven yourself. You can join the Phoenix Gang.
- Kick the egg.
- Straven: Marvellous! Alright, you've proven yourself. You can join the Phoenix Gang!
- Compliment the egg.
- Player: I want to join the Phoenix Gang.
- Straven: We demand total loyalty from our members. If you join the Phoenix Gang, you'll never be allowed to join the Black Arm Gang, and vice versa.
- Join Gang interface pops up.
- Straven: Welcome to the Phoenix Gang! The pass-phrase to enter the back room is 'You can't regret the life you didn't lead.'.
- If you already have a lockpick from a previous play-through
- Straven: Normally I'd give you 'My First Lockpick', but I see you already have one. How odd. Anyway, it'll let you open locked containers.
- If you don't have a lockpick
- Straven gives you a lockpick.
- Straven: As is customary, you also receive something we call 'My First Lockpick'. It'll let you open locked containers.
- Player: Where do I find your forger?
- Straven: Ah, yes. You were wanting a certain forged document, weren't you? Speak to Molly. You should find her sitting next door in our administrative office. Head outside, go west, then go through the door in the south alley-way. Tell her the pass-phrase 'You can't regret the life you didn't lead.'.
Molly[]
- Molly: What's the pass-phrase?
- Player: 'You can't regret the life you didn't lead.'
- Molly lets you in
- Player: I need forged documents to claim the two halves of the Shield of Arrav from the Zemouregal's treasure vaults. Can you help?
- She writes something in her own blood on a couple of sheets of paper, and then hands them to you.
- Molly: There you go. Two documents. One for each half of the Shield of Arrav. Take these to the two banks of New Varrock.
- Talking to Molly again
- Molly: Go away from me before I give you a nibble. I ain't eaten in weeks.
Restoring the Shield[]
Getting the Shield from the banks[]
West New Varrock bank[]
- Skeleton clerk: These are the private vaults of His Fleshiness, Zemouregal. Go away.
- I'm here for the Shield of Arrav.
- Skeleton clerk: Do you have the requisite certificate authorising you to claim said item?
- Before getting the documents
- Player: What if I said no?
- Skeleton clerk: Then I would politely turn back to my work and ignore you.
- Player: Then no.
- The skeleton politely turns his back and ignores you.
- After getting the documents
- Player: Yes.
- You exchange the document for one half of the Shield of Arrav.
- Before getting the documents
- Skeleton clerk: Do you have the requisite certificate authorising you to claim said item?
- I want to access my bank.
- Skeleton clerk: The bank of New Varrock is now the personal treasury of our glorious leader, Zemouregal. We no longer provide a banking service to fleshy folk.
- Goodbye.
- I'm here for the Shield of Arrav.
East New Varrock bank[]
- Skeleton clerk: I have no idea why you are in the private vaults of Zemouregal. Begone.
- I'm here for the Shield of Arrav.
- Skeleton clerk: I'm assuming you've got permission from the Big Z himself, right?
- Before getting the documents
- Player: Um...no?
- Skeleton Clerk: That's fine - I'll give it to you anyway.
- Player: Really?
- Skeleton Clerk: No! Get out of here! I wasn't killed yesterday.
- After getting the documents
- Player: Yes.
- You exchange the document for one half of the Shield of Arrav.
- Before getting the documents
- Skeleton clerk: I'm assuming you've got permission from the Big Z himself, right?
- I want to access my bank.
- Skeleton clerk: This is the far-superior eastern vaults of Zemouregal. We have protected the treasure of Magnificent Zemouregal at least fifty times better than the western vaults.
- Goodbye.
- I'm here for the Shield of Arrav.
Delivering the Shield[]
- Orlando Smith: Did you get it? Do you have the Shield of Arrav?
- If you have not combined the two pieces.
- Player: I've got the two shield halves.
- Orlando Smith: Stick 'em together matey! Then job's a good'un.
- If you have assembled the shield
- You give Orlando the re-assembled Shield of Arrav.
- Orlando Smith: Strewth! You did it! I always said that it should be in a museum. I'd give you a hug if I could. I worry that I'd get carried away and nibble your neck, though, and neither of us want that.
Quest Complete!
A subquest of Dimension of Disaster | |
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Miscellaneous | Quick guide • Transcript |