Transcript of Monkey Madness

This page contains dialogue related to Monkey Madness.

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This transcript involves dialogue with Awowogei, Bunkdo, Carado, Daero, Foreman, Garkor, G.L.O. Caranock, Glough, Karam, Kruk, King Narnode Shareen, Lumdo, Lumo, Monkey Child, Monkey Minder, Muruwoi, Shipyard worker, Uwogo, Waydar, and Zooknock.

Missing Squad[]

King Narnode Shareen: Adventurer! It is good to see you again.
Player: And you too, King. How fares the tree?
King Narnode Shareen: The tree? It is fine, as it has always been since we foiled Glough's plans.
Player: Good. What ever did happen to Glough?
King Narnode Shareen: Oh, I forced him to resign. I have now appointed a new Head Tree Guardian, Daero. He is learning quickly and serves me well.
Player: King, you look worried. Is anything the matter?
King Narnode Shareen: Nothing in particular... Well actually, yes – there is.
Player: What is it?
King Narnode Shareen: Well, do you remember Glough's ship building facilities in Karamja?
Player: Yes, they were on the eastern coast. What of them?
King Narnode Shareen: After you defeated Glough's demon I sent an envoy of my Royal Guard, the 10th squad, to oversee the decommission of the shipyard. They were ordered to use force if necessary.
Player: I see... Were they successful?
King Narnode Shareen: I... I don't know. I have heard nothing from them. I do not even know if they reached the shipyard!
Player: It is a long way.
King Narnode Shareen: But I need to know what happened. These are elite soldiers – their disappearance cannot simply be ignored. I cannot wait any longer. And so I ask you: would you visit Glough's old shipyard in Karamja and find out if the 10th squad ever reached it?
Start Monkey Madness?:
- Option 1: Yes
  - Player: Ok, I'll do it.
  - Narnode hands you a copy of the Royal Seal.
  - King Narnode Shareen: Thank you very much. You may need this Royal Seal to identify yourself as my envoy. Please report to me as soon as you have any information.
- Option 2: No

Monkey Madness: Chapter 1[]

In which our hero finds himself drawn back into Glough's web of deception and deceit.

The Shipyard[]

Entrance[]

Shipyard worker: Hey you! What are you up to?
Player: I'm trying to open the gate!
Shipyard worker: I can see that! Why?
Player: I'm on a special mission for King Narnode of the Gnomes.
Shipyard worker: Narnode? I don't believe you. He wouldn't send a human!
Player: Well, he did...
Shipyard worker: Tough.
Player: Look, I have the Gnome Royal Seal.

You show the shipyard worker the Royal Seal.

Shipyard worker: Wow. I haven't seen one of these since...
Player: Since when?
Shipyard worker: ...since Glough used to visit. Anyway. Please step inside, Sir.

Gnome Liaison Officer[]

Player: Hello!
G.L.O. Caranock: Who are you? Did Glough send you?
Player: Glough? No. He has been forced to resign by the King.
G.L.O. Caranock: Forced to resign??
Player: He was plotting to start a war between the Gnomes and humankind. Anyway, I am here on a separate mission. I am investigating the disappearance of the 10th squad of King Narnode's Royal Guard. They were to carry out some work in the area.
G.L.O. Caranock: Royal Guard? I know nothing about them. Absolutely nothing.
Player: You have no idea why they mysteriously disappeared?
G.L.O. Caranock: None whatsoever. What were they here to do?
Player: They were to oversee the decommission of the shipyard.
G.L.O. Caranock: Decommission the shipyard... I see. Well, we have had some seriously strong southerly winds of late. They may have been blown off course during flight. I shall see personally to the decommission. You should report to the King immediately.

A New Mission[]

Reporting Back[]

King Narnode Shareen: Welcome back, adventurer.
Player: Hello. I investigated the shipyard.
King Narnode Shareen: Thank you for doing this. What did you find?
Player: I met a Gnome who goes by the name of Caranock. Do you recognise it?
King Narnode Shareen: The name sounds a little familiar, but it is nobody I know personally.
Player: He calls himself a Gnome Liaison Officer. He seemed a little... odd.
King Narnode Shareen: Never mind that – did you find anything out about my 10th squad?
Player: Caranock suggested they were blown off course by extreme southerly winds.
King Narnode Shareen: Do you believe him?
Player: I don't have any other information right now.
King Narnode Shareen: Very well. I will now prepare some orders. You must convey them to my new High Tree Guardian, Daero.

Narnode begins to write strange glyphs on a scroll of paper. Narnode hands you some written notes.

Player: Where will I find Daero?
King Narnode Shareen: You will find him attending to business somewhere on the Grand Tree.

Daero[]

Player: Are you Daero?
Daero: Indeed I am – and you are?
Player: I am an adventurer. I am currently in the service of your King.
Daero: I see. You must be the individual who helped defeat my predecessor Glough. I hope you'll find me a more honest replacement.
Player: I have been asked to give you orders from King Narnode.
Daero: Well hand them over here then.

You hand King Narnode's orders to Daero.

Daero: It is written in an old military code. Bear with me whilst I decode this.

Daero starts decoding the orders.

Daero: I hope you feel like a quest adventurer.
Player: Why is that?
Daero: because you're going to get one.
Player: Tell me what the orders say!
Daero: Given your recent performance of uncovering and neutralising a threat at the very extremes of Gnome hierarchy, the King has decreed that you are to undertake a reconnaissance mission.
Player: Where to?
Daero: You are to be taken far to the south of Karamja, further than any Gnome has purposely travelled before. You are to investigate Caranock's claim that Garkor's squad were blown off course. You must really have impressed the King in the past.
- Option 1: Talk about the journey...
  - Player: What lies to the south of Karamja?
    - Daero: We do not know. Initial reports spoke of a large atoll populated by monkeys.
    - Player: Monkeys? Like on Karamja?
    - Daero: From what I have heard, not quite like those monkeys...
  - Player: How will I travel?
    - Daero: It is my responsibility to make arrangements for your mission. We will shortly visit a colleague of mine who will be accompanying you.
  - Player: Are you coming with me?
    - Daero: I am afraid not. I must remain here to safeguard the Grand Tree. I will assign a Gnome agent to travel with you.
- Option 2: Talk about the 10th squad...
  - Player: Why did the King send a squad of the Royal Guard?
    - Daero: The Royal Guard is composed of particularly elite soldiers who have proven themselves in battle. They are duty bound to protect the Grand Tree, its King and his interests. In the face of danger, they can more than take care of themselves.
    - Player: So the King worries we have come across an equally formidable foe?
    - Daero: He worries about this, yes.
  - Player: Who is Garkor?
    - Daero: Sergeant Garkor holds the command of the 10th squad. As a soldier, he is extremely able. IF his men are in trouble, he will be tirelessly working to save them. You should aim to make contact with him.
  - Player: Why are the 10th squad so famous?
    - Daero: They are, as you humans might say, the best of the best. As well as Sergeant Garkor, they have in their company a High Mage, two sappers and battle hardened foot soldiers.
    - Player: What is a sapper?
    - Daero: You might consider the role as that of an engineer. Or perhaps of a munitions expert.
- Option 3: Talk about Caranock...
  - Player: Who is Caranock?
    - Daero: I have never heard of him. According to the report you made to the King he is the Gnome Liaison Officer at the eastern Karamja shipyard.
  - Player: What is a Gnome Liaison Officer?
    - Daero: It was a position Glough introduced. Gnome Liaison Officers are in general responsible for coordinating activities between Gnomes and other beings in our remote operations.
  - Player: I'm not so sure about Caranock...
    - Daero: In what way?
    - Player: I do not know. He just seemed a little suspicious. He was very keen to see me leave.
    - Daero: I do not know him; he is from before my time. Glough would presumably have hand picked him.
- Option 4: Leave
  - Player: Let us go then.
  - Daero: I must first introduce you to a colleague of mine who will be accompanying you on your mission.
    - Player: Who is it?
      - Daero: His name is Flight Commander Waydar. We must go now and meet Waydar. For security reasons I must ask you to wear a blindfold.
      - You wear the blindfold Daero hands you.
    - Player: I work better on my own...

The Hanger[]

Waydar[]

Daero: Welcome, adventurer, to the Underground Military Glider Hangar.
Player: Wow! Why would Gnomes need such a place?
Daero: We do not, if the truth be told. This hangar was part of Glough's contingency planning. Had the attacks by land and sea failed, he would have turned to air. It is fortunate that you managed to expose him. The military gliders in this hangar are a prototype for a much refined version of the standard variety we currently use. Let me introduce you to Flight Commander Waydar. Flight Commander Waydar, I would like you to meet [Player].
Waydar: Greetings High Tree Guardian. And greetings to you too, visitor.
Daero: Not just any old visitor Waydar; this is the person who exposed Glough and defeated his demon.
Waydar: I see. Well, there are no more demons left here.
Daero: Quite. He is now on a secret mission for the King. As you know, the 10th squad went missing during their mission to decommission the eastern shipyard of Karamja. We still do not know what happened, but evidence suggests they were blown far off course to the south.
Waydar: Their standard gliders must have fallen prey to the tropical weather.
Daero: When reinitialisation has been completed, you are to fly to the south of Karamja with [Player] and accompany him on the mission.
Waydar: We are no closer to reinitialising sir – the code is too hard. It is likely the only person who could do it is Glough.
Daero: That Gnome is never stepping in this hangar again. He always was and still is a menace. Do you understand me?
Waydar: Yes sir.
Daero: Very well. Notify me when you have managed to reinitialise. [Player], you will have to wait till reinitialisation is complete.

Speak to Daero

Player: Where is the hangar?
- Daero: We try to ensure the location of the hangar remains a secret. If you must know something, then know that it lies directly beneath the Gnomeball pitch. However, I cannot reveal the location of its entrance.
Player: How do I leave?
- Daero: There is a teleporter round the corner. You must use this.
Player: How do I return here later?
- Daero: Come and find me on the Grand Tree. I will probably be at the bar.
Player: What is reinitialisation?
- Daero: Glough left a code on the facility, which periodically needs to be entered if we wish to maintain the supply of power. Without going through the process of reinitialisation, we cannot power the mechanism which deploys the military gliders.

Solving the Puzzle[]

(If paying Glough for the puzzle)

Player: Hello?
Glough: You look frustrated, human.
Player: I've been told to wait for the reinitialisation of the hangar. They mentioned your name.
Glough: Of course they would. I'm the only one who knows how to do it.
Player: This is really embarrassing, but...
Glough: Let me guess, you need my help...
- Player: Yes, I suppose I do.
  - Glough: I am able to remotely reinitialise...
  - Player: But...?
  - Glough: It will cost you...
  - Player: How much?
  - Glough: Oh... just a measly 200,000 gold pieces. Yes, I think that will do me nicely.
    - Player: Ok then. You win again, Glough.
      - Glough: Very well, then listen carefully. The glider hangar is the pride of the stronghold. It is well guarded... and alarmed. Were I to completely reinitialise the gliders from here it would trigger the hangar alarms. I'd rather my people didn't know I was assisting a human.
      - Player: So you can't reinitialise the gliders after all?
      - Glough: Hear me out! I can set the hangar control panel so that you need only move one final piece to complete the reinitialisation.
      - Player: Got it, so when I get back to the control panel I need move the last piece to complete the reinitialisation. That way no alarms will be set off.
      - Glough: Finally, you're catching on. Now, I believe there is the small matter of payment...
        Player: Okay Glough, here's your 200,000 gold pieces.
        You give Glough 200,000 coins.
        
        Glough: It's been a pleasure doing business with you.
        
        Player: I wish I could say the same for you.
        
        Player: I'm not paying you anything.
    - Player: That's outrageous!
- Player: No, I'd rather skin a monkey than take your help!

Reinitialisation[]

As you slide the final piece into place you begin to hear a low rumbling sound...

Speak to Daero

Daero: Well done, adventurer. You have managed to break Glough's code. Now the process of reinitialisation is complete, you can truly begin your journey into the unknown.
Player: I've had some practice in the past.
Daero: You are clearly a [man/woman] of many talents. Flight Commander Waydar, now that reinitialisation is complete, I order you to fly to the south of Karamja with [Player].
Waydar: Yes sir.
Daero: You are to safeguard him on this potentially dangerous mission.
Waydar: Understood.
Daero: [Player], speak to Waydar when you are ready to leave. And... good luck.

Speak to Waydar

Waydar: You should stock up well on food before our journey. I can carry only enough provisions for myself. Do you wish to fly right now?
- Player: Yes, let's go.
  - Waydar: As you wish.
- Player: No

Crash Island[]

Lumdo[]

Lumdo: Who are you two?
Player: We are on a mission for King Narnode Shareen. I am [Adventurer] and this is Flight Commander Waydar.
Lumdo: What business do you have here?
Player: We are to investigate the disappearance of the 10th squad of the Royal Guard. Am I right in suspecting that you, Lumdo, are a member of the 10th squad?
Lumdo: I might be. Do you have any way to prove that you are who you say you are?
Player: I have the Gnome Royal Seal.

You show Lumdo the Royal Seal.

Lumdo: I see. Sorry for my distrust.
Player: So are you Lumdo of the 10th squad?
Lumdo: I am indeed –
Player: Where are the rest of your squad? Where is your Sergeant?
Lumdo: Let me begin at the beginning, human. We were on our way to decommission Glough's old ship building facilities in eastern Karamja, as you probably know. However, we obviously chose the wrong season to fly. We were one gnome to a glider, so each was extremely light. Like leaves in a wind, we were blown south before we even landed on that island.
Player: Did you crash straight here?
Lumdo: Yes. The winds drove us into the treetops, which destroyed the canvas of our gliders. We dragged what remained of the gliders out onto this beach.
Player: What did you do then?
Lumdo: While we were falling, Sergeant Garkor noticed a large populated atoll to our west. You cannot see it from here, but it is within sailing distance. We spent time gathering enough wood to fashion two boats. The Sergeant took the rest of the 10th squad in the larger of the boats to explore the island and to search for potential glider launch sites.
Player: Presumably you are to guard the gliders until they return?
Lumdo: Affirmative.
Player: You must take us to the island. I have orders from the High Tree Guardian to make contact with your Sergeant.
Lumdo: And I have orders from the Sergeant to stay here.
Player: You will not take me?
Lumdo: I will not take orders from you.

Speak to Waydar

Player: Where are we?
Waydar: I am not sure. We appear to have landed where the 10th squad crashed. The number of gnome gliders is correct. Unfortunately, it appears that none of their gliders survived the collision.
Player: Did our glider survive?
Waydar: Of course.

Speak to Lumdo

Player: Will you take me to the atoll?
Lumdo: I am under direct orders to remain here.

Pulling Rank[]

Player: What shall we do now?
Player: Do you recognise the gnome on the beach?
Player: Can you take me back to your kingdom?
Player: I cannot convince Lumdo to take us to the island...
- Waydar: What is the problem?
- Player: He claims to be under direct orders from Garkor to guard their gliders until the rest return.
- Waydar: His zeal in the matter is to be expected. The Royal Guard – in particular the 10th squad – are renowned for their fierce loyalty.
- Player: Can you do anything?
- Waydar: I would rather not get involved. My mission is to protect you.
- Player: You must do something!
- Waydar: You are becoming tiresome, human. As you wish. Foot soldier Lumdo of the 10th squad.
- Lumdo: Yes?
- Waydar: I am Flight Commander Waydar. I believe you are under direct orders from your Sergeant to guard these gliders?
- Lumdo: That is correct, Commander.
- Waydar: I need not remind you that I outrank Garkor. As of this instant, your orders are to convey the human to the atoll and remain there until he needs to return.
- Lumdo: Garkor will not be pleased!
- Waydar: Then he can take up his issues with me personally.
- Player: Waydar! Will you not accompany me to the island?
- Waydar: No. After all, somebody has to look after the gliders.
- Player: But it is your mission to protect me!
- Waydar: Enough. Return here when you are done.

Interlude[]

Meanwhile in Karamja...

Foreman: The workers are getting restless, Caranock.
G.L.O. Caranock: I know...
Foreman: All this talk of Glough being replaced doesn't bode well for ... how shall I put this ... their morale.
G.L.O. Caranock: Look, I know.
Foreman: Those are all men with children to feed. Famished families. Worried wives. All of us rely on this shipyard. If something isn't done soon, there'll be revolt. And I won't be able to stop it.
G.L.O. Caranock: Stop worrying. I'm working on something.
Foreman: What something? You're always working on something. All we ever hear is bad news. First Glough disappears. Then news of a missing squad of the Royal Guard in our area. And what about that human sent by the King?
G.L.O. Caranock: The human means nothing. If it becomes too much trouble, I will simply have it ... removed. In the meantime, let it continue to search for that blasted 10th squad.
Foreman: I am still worried. What am I meant to tell the men?
G.L.O. Caranock: Stop worrying. I'm working on something – Glough left a few of his agents in the Gnome airforce. For now, tell your men to continue work on the battleships. Give me some time.
Foreman: I hope you're right, Caranock, for your sake. My sake. For all of our sakes...

Monkey Madness: Chapter 2[]

In which our hero finds [himself/herself] engaging in severe quantities of monkey business.

Meeting the Squad[]

Jailbird[]

Lumo: Look – a newcomer. I'd say let me be the first to welcome you to Ape Atoll, but I see you're already met the welcoming party...

Speak to Lumo

Player: Hello?
Lumo: Hello – Who are you?
Player: I am in the service of King Narnode Shareen. I have been sent here to locate the missing 10th squad of the Royal Guard.
Lumo: Well we're certainly missing home, I'll give you that.
Player: How long have you been here?
Lumo: Oh, not for too long ... The jaul guards keep us entertained every now and then too. Isn't that right Bunkdo?
Bunkdo: That's right Lumo. Remember the time when they got all confused when changing shifts?
Lumo: Oh yeah. Trefaji and Aberab – they're as dense as bricks. They do give mighty punches though.
Bunkdo: Indeed. My backside is still a little sore...
Lumo: Your backside??
Bunkdo: I turned around at the wrong time...
Carado: Serves you bloody right too.
Lumo: Now, now lads, watch your language. You'll have to excuse them, human, they're only soldiers!
Carado: Excuse me –
Player: Oh, that's quite alight...
Lumo: So human, what can we do for you?
Player: Well I suppose I ought to help you escape.
Bunkdo: No it's alright [laddy/lass?], we quite like it in here.
Lumo: Do your best to ignore him... To be fair human, you're not much help stuck in there...
Player: Well how do I get out?
Lumo: Well, you can try picking the lock on your door. Watch out for the guards though. We've been trying to pick ours but we haven't been able to do so yet.

Gnome of Shadows[]

Player: Hello? Is anybody there?
Karam: That depends on who is asking...
Player: I am in the service of King Narnode Shareen. I have been sent here to locate the missing 10th squad of the Royal Guard.
Karam: I see. As you can see, this is a dangerous place to be.
Player: It certainly is... who are you?
Karam: Karam, 10th squad, Royal Guard. High Assassin at your service.
- Player: What are you doing here?
  - Karam: I am thinking of a way to free my friends. In the meantime, I am helping those who further my cause.
- Player: How do you remain unseen?
  - Karam: I have been gifted by Zooknock, our squad mage. I have saved his life on a number of occasions.
  - Player: Is there any way I could be like that?
  - Karam: Your best chance is to hide in this grass, human.
- Player: How can you be everywhere?
  - Karam: I move quickly.
- Player: I'll be back later

Spying Sergeant[]

Player: Hello?
Garkor: A fine day you have chosen to visit this hellish island, human.
Player: Good day to you Sergeant. I've been sent by your King Narnode to –
Garkor: Investigate the circumstances surrounding the mysterious disappearance of my squad. Yes, I know.
Player: How did you know that?
Garkor: The king and I are still in communication, albeit sporadic. I decided I need a human of your calibre to assist me. It is pleasing to see you are still alive.
Player: Why do you need a human?
Garkor: There is more going on than meets your eye, human. Did you not find it strange that an entire squad be sent to decommission a shipyard?
Player: Well –
Garkor: Indeed. But there are more pressing matters at hand. Three of my squad have been captured and placed in the jail. They are watched over by somewhat overpowering guards. Before we can resume our original mission we must rescue them.
Player: I know about the guards – I had to sneak out between the change of shifts.
Garkor: Trust me; we too have considered this, but whilst it is possible for one, it is near impossible for three. We have considered many things. I have my squad mage and sappers working below us right now. My assassin Karam is operating in the village itself. I remain here so that I may overhear Awowogei's plans.
Player: Awowogei?
Garkor: The self-proclaimed ruler of the island. I have been listening to him for some time now. I believe we will incur a minimum of casualties if we have an insider – a monkey working for us.
Player: Have you seen these monkeys? You could never convince them to work for you!
Garkor: I wasn't suggesting convincing them, human, but you.
Player: Don't be ridiculous! I'm a human – not a monkey!
Garkor: Do not be so sceptical... you humans are considered to be quite closely related to monkeys.
Player: Yes, but –
Garkor: Go and see my squad mage, Zooknock. Tell him I have asked you to be 'disguised' as a monkey so that you may infiltrate the village. As you will see, he is something of an expert on the subject.
Player: I can't even communicate with the monkeys!
Garkor: Just go and find my squad mage, human.

Monkey Business[]

Zooknock's Tunnel[]

Player: Hello?
Zooknock: A human... here? What business have you on Ape Atoll?
Player: I am on a mission for King Narnode Shareen of the Gnomes.
Player: I have been sent to investigate the whereabouts of the 10th squad of his Royal Guard, which went missing during a recent mission to Karamja.
Zooknock: Well you've found us – what's left of us, that is. I am Zooknock, the 10th squad mage. These are Bunkwicket and Waymottin, two of our finest sappers. I assume you will want to know how we got here?
Player: Of course.
Zooknock: Your story first, human. What possessed you to travel to this forsaken island?
Player: I am currently in the service of your King. I was the human who exposed Glough's warfaring plans and defeated his demon. As far as I understood, the 10th squad were went to oversee the decommission of Glough's shipyard in east Karamja. Rumour has it you were blown off course. The King worried as to your fate, and sent me to investigate.
Zooknock: You were sent alone?
Player: No, I have been accompanied by Flight Commander Waydar. We flew south on a special type of glider and landed on a small island to our east.
Zooknock: The so called Crash Island. We left there one of our number, Lumdo, to guard our gliders until our return.
Player: Yes, we have met. He ferried me across to the atoll.
Zooknock: He did!? He was explicitly ordered to guard the gliders! How did this happen? Who is guarding the gliders now?
Player: Waydar ordered him to leave his post. He is guarding the gliders himself.
Zooknock: Flight Commander Waydar you said? For some reason that name is familiar...
Player: So why are you here?
Zooknock: The rumours are correct. We were indeed blown off course. Fortunately, we managed to find a small island to steer our gliders towards, else we surely would have drowned.
Player: Then you gathered enough wood to fashion two boats. Your Sergeant and the rest of the 10th squad took the larger boat to this island, leaving Lumdo to guard the gliders and the other boat...
Zooknock: Correct. I assume Lumdo told you this?
Player: Yes. What happened when you landed here?
Zooknock: We split up into several smaller groups to search the island for potential gnome glider launch sites. Whilst we knew the island to be inhabited, we did not expect its occupants to be quite so... militant.
Player: ...
Zooknock: Monkeys. Lots of monkeys. They are unlike any other type of monkey we've come across. A far cry from the usual wild variety, these were armed with high quality weaponry and uncanny tactical ability. We were overwhelmed in numbers. Some of us managed to escape but the rest were taken captive.
Player: Who survived?
Zooknock: Myself, the Sergeant, Bunkwicket and Waymottin here. Karam, our assassin, probably managed to escape – he usually does.
Player: And of the rest?
Zooknock: Lumo, Bunkdo and Carado were captured, as I said. We believe they are being held in the jail. We are working on a way to release them. I have sensed there lies a cavern to the north. We are attempting to tunnel to this northern cavern and then move upwards from there.
Player: Why don't you just go overground?
Zooknock: We have considered this, but every entrance seems to be excessively guarded.
Player: I see. I have spoken to your Sergeant. He believes that the best way to rescue the rest of your squad with the minimum casualties is to have an insider – a monkey working for us.
Zooknock: Aha. He wants me to turn you into a monkey.
Player: Actually, it was more along the lines of a disguise...
Zooknock: I think you misunderstood, human. Do you know why you were sent here?
Player: King Narnode Shareen asked me to...
Zooknock: Indeed. However, King Narnode Shareen is still in contact with Garkor! You were sent here because Garkor specifically asked Narnode for you!
Player: Why wasn't I told?
Zooknock: Before you arrived on this island, that information would have endangered both yourself and the mission.
Player: But why a human? Why me?
Zooknock: Garkor had long decided that we need a monkey insider. I have the necessary magic to perform the shapeshifting spell, but we needed a human to transform.
Player: Why don't you just transform a gnome?
Zooknock: It has been tried in the past, but the results were far from... satisfactory. Although we, like you, are related to the monkeys, the link is too weak for a successful transformation. That is why we need you.
Player: Right. What do I have to do?
Zooknock: There will be two aspects to your transformation. We must first arrange it so that you are able to understand and communicate with the monkeys. We must also transform your body so that you may pass amongst them unnoticed. So that the effects of my spells are not permanent, I will invest their power into magical items which you must find. You can then use them at your will.
Player: What kind of items?
Zooknock: For the spells to take full effect , they will have to be in some way related to the monkeys. I suggest that I invest the ability to communicate with the monkeys in an authentic monkey amulet. Similarly, the transformation spell should be stored in a monkey talisman of some kind.
- Player: What do we need for the monkey amulet?
  - Zooknock: We need a gold bar, a monkey amulet mould and something to do monkey speech.
    - Player: Where do I find a gold bar?
    - Player: Where do I find a monkey amulet mould?
    - Player: Where do I find something to do with monkey speech?
    - Player: I'll be back later.
- Player: What do we need for the monkey talisman?
  - Zooknock: We need some kind of monkey remains as well as an authentic magical monkey talisman.
    - Player: Where do I find monkey remains?
    - Player: Where do I find a magical monkey talisman?
    - Player: I'll be back later

Amulet of Monkeyspeak[]

Zooknock: Well done, human. Now listen closely, human. I will cast a spell to enchant this gold bar with the power contained in these monkey dentures. You must then smith the gold bar using the monkey amulet mould. However, unless you do this in a place of religious significance to the monkeys, the spirits contained within will likely depart.
Player: Where do I find a place of religious significance to monkeys?
Zooknock: Somewhere in the village. It ought to be obvious. Now give me a moment.

Zooknock hands you back the gold bar and the monkey amulet mould.

A Monkey's Uncle[]

Player: Hello there little monkey.
Monkey Child: Hello big-big. Aunty told me not to talk to strangers.
Player: Oh I'm not a stranger...
Monkey Child: You look strange to me!

Speak to the Monkey Child again

Player: Hello again little monkey.
Monkey Child: You're strange! Go away!
Player: I'm not a stranger...!
Monkey Child: Then who are you?
- Player: I'm a monkey's brother!
- Player: I knew your sister's mother!
- Player: I'm just a monkey lover!
- Player: Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!
  - Monkey Child: Uh ah! You do look like my uncle!

Speak to him again

Monkey Child: You look a lot bigger than last time, Uncle!
Player: I've been... eating more bananas...just like you should be!
Monkey Child: I'm bored.
Player: Why are you bored?
Monkey Child: Aunty told me to pick loads of bananas. She said if, I got bananas, she'd give me a new toy!
- Player: What kind of toy did Aunty say she'd give you?
- Player: How many bananas did Aunty want?
  - Monkey Child: Twenty! But I can't count! It's very mean of her, isn't it Uncle?
  - Player: Yes, very mean... do you want me to get the bananas for you?
  - Monkey Child: Ok! Ook Ook!
  - Player: But only if you promise to let me borrow your toy...
  - Monkey Child: Ok Uncle!

Talk to him with bananas

Monkey Child: Did you get any bananas, Uncle?
Player: Yes, I have some here.
Monkey Child: Wow that's a lot of bananas! Are there twenty?
Player: Yes, of course there are.
You give the monkey child your bananas.
Monkey Child: Aunty will be so happy!

Talk to him before he gets the toy

Player: Has Aunty given you the toy yet?
Monkey Child: No, not yet... she said she's too busy dealing with something called humans.

Talk to the Monkey Child after he received the toy

Player: Has Aunty given you the toy yet?
Monkey Child: Yeah – it's really neat!
Player: Can I borrow it now then?
Monkey Child: But I only just got it!
Player: Please?
Monkey Child: Ok then...

The monkey child gives you some kind of talisman.

Monkey Gree-gree[]

Zooknock: Bear with me human: I must now cast an extremely powerful spell. It is not often we are successful in investing shapeshifting powers within objects.

Zooknock hands you back the talisman. It seems to glow slightly.

Zooknock: I am afraid I have not been able to fully invest my powers in that talisman. You may use it, but it will continue to draw its energy directly from me. The range at which I will be able to sustain it is limited. I cannot ensure it will be effective off the atoll. Furthermore, you will not be able to attack whilst using this, so be careful. Perhaps when I refine my spells I could look into making this possible.

The Villains Unmasked[]

Meanwhile, somewhere far below the Ape Atoll...

G.L.O. Caranock: It is good of you to meet me, Waydar.
Waydar: It is good to see you again, Caranock. It is a strange island these monkeys inhabit.
G.L.O. Caranock: Well observed. How have you been keeping yourself occupied?
Waydar: I am now a Flight Commander. My duties include testing Glough's prototype military glider.
G.L.O. Caranock: My my. How things have changed somewhat since Glough's time... Now, what of the human?
Waydar: The human? Just somebody Narnode appears to have taken a fancy to. It is hard to tell why. I suspect the human was involved with Glough's fall from grace.
G.L.O. Caranock: You may be right. Never mind – there are greater matters afoot. With Glough gone, it falls to us to continue with his plans. Also, the shipyard workers are becoming restless.
Waydar: I see. What do you have in mind?
G.L.O. Caranock: Money for me, Waydar, and promotion for you. As you know, the 10th squad of the Royal Guard are slightly worse for wear on this island.
Waydar: This I know. But I don't see how it leads to money or promotion.
G.L.O. Caranock: What if they were to die? An entire squad of the Royal Guard goes missing in the jungle of Karamja... We could blame it on the humans.
Waydar: Narnode would be furious!
G.L.O. Caranock: Precisely. He might even order an invasion. At the very least he'll step up on the defence. More orders for me, promotion for you.
Waydar: Very clever. It might also serve us well to remind Narnode of Bolren's situation.
G.L.O. Caranock: Ah yes – all that trouble with the Khazard. Last I heard, Bolren had retrieved the orbs of protection. Apparently some human lent their assistance.
Waydar: Really? Typical meddling human behaviour. Nevertheless, it will stoke fires of worry. After all, the battle still continues.
G.L.O. Caranock: I agree. Anyhow, we don't want your human wondering as to your whereabouts. When the time is right, don't hesitate to... dispose of it.
Waydar: Understood. Military gliders are after all an untested form of transport...

Monkey Madness: Chapter 3[]

In which our [hero/heroine] finds [himself/herself] contending with life as a monkey.

Monkey Diplomacy[]

Garkor's Plan[]

Garkor: My my, Zooknock has outdone himself this time. You do look very much like a monkey you know.
Player: I know.
Garkor: And by happy coincidence you appear to be just the right sort of monkey. I need you now to seek audience with Awowogei. Claim you are an envoy form the monkeys of Karamja and are seeking an alliance. You must win his trust if we are to succeed.

Access Denied[]

Elder Guard: Grrr... What do you want?
Player: I'd like to speak with Awowogei, please.
Elder Guard: Only the Captain of the Monkey Guard or those he authorises may enter this building. You will need his permission to enter.
Player: Who is the Captain of the Monkey Guard?
Elder Guard: He goes by the name of Kruk.

Captain Kruk[]

Player: Hello?
Kruk: What brings you up here, monkey?
Player: I have come to seek audience with Awowogei. I am told I need your permission to do so.
Kruk: That's right – you do. What business have you on our island?
Player: I am envoy from the monkeys of Karamja. I have come to propose an alliance.
Kruk: I see. Very well, you look genuine enough. Follow me.

Karamjan Envoy[]

Player: Greetings, Awowogei.
Awowogei: Greetings, visitor. What brings you to my island?
Player: I am an envoy from the monkeys of Karamja. We wish to propose an alliance.
Awowogei: I see. Ours is a strong and mighty lineage of monkey, visitor. We clearly do not need your offer of an alliance.
Player: Awowogei, please consider my offer carefully. We offer strength in numbers and our island would serve as a northern platform for defence. All that we ask for in return is peace.
Uwogo: I don't believe him, Awowogei. Never trust a northern monkey.
Awowogei: What is your opinion, Murowoi?
Muruwoi: I think he seems trustworthy, sir.
Awowogei: I must admit, I have always regarded your kind as our inferior cousins, visitor. However, I am well aware that you may have a few things to offer.
Uwogo: Don't listen to him Awowogei!
Awowogei: Be silent, Uwogo. I have heard your kind are exceptionally resourceful. I wish to put this reputation to the test. You must be well aware your kind are hunted and trapped almost everywhere. I particular you may have heard of such activities in a city known to the humans as Ardougne. There are several of your kind kept captive there. I challenge you to free one and return it to me.
Player: How am I meant to free one of them?
Awowogei: That is for you to decide, visitor.
Player: Very well. I will be back later, with one of the captives.

Captured Chimp[]

Player: Ook! Ook!
Monkey minder: Why do you monkeys keep trying to escape? Good thing I've caught you before you got away, you little scoundrel.
Player: Ook!
Monkey minder: Let's put you back in your cage where you belong...
Player: Ok!
Monkey minder: What??
Player: Er... Ook?
Monkey minder: I must be imagining things... monkeys can't talk.

Speak to the Monkey

Player: Hello there, little monkey.
Monkey: Hello there!
Player: How would you like to get out of here?
Monkey: Escape!? It's all I ever think about!
Player: That's convenient. When would you like to leave?
Monkey: Where will you be taking me?
Player: Erm... to the happy, sunny jungle of Karamja...
Monkey: Wowee! I was born there you know!
Player: That's nice. Are you ready to go?
Monkey: Yes. Actually, can I bring some of my friends?
Player: No, I only have space for one.
Monkey: Pleeeeease?
Player: No!
Monkey: Pretty pleeeeease?
Player: No!!
Monkey: Pretty please with a banana on top?
Player: Look, I already said no. If you want to come then jump into my backpack.
Monkey: Ook!

Speak to the Monkey minder again

Monkey minder: My word – what are you doing in there?
Player: I... er... I don't know! One minute I was asleep, and the next minute I was here surrounded by monkeys!
Monkey minder: Well, don't worry. We'll have you out of there shortly.
Player: Thank you.
Monkey minder: No problem.

A Monkey King's Trust[]

Awowogei: Have you brought with you a captive?
Player: Yes, I have.
Awowogei: Well done! You have shown yourself to be very resourceful. You have managed to complete an extremely long journey remarkably quickly.
Player: Thank you.
Awowogei: You are clearly well acquainted with the ways of this world. We will talk more on this later. In the meantime, feel free to remain as long as you like on my island.
Player: What about the proposed alliance, Awowogei?
Awowogei: I must think upon it some more and discuss the matter with my advisors. We will contact you when we are ready.

The Conspirators Overheard[]

Garkor: Well done on winning Awowogei's trust. I overheard everything from here. However, your efforts may be in vain...
Player: What do you mean?
Garkor: Progress in the caves has been slow. Whilst you were in Ardougne, Bunkwicket and Waymottin overheard a slightly disturbing conversation.
Player: Who was speaking? What was said?
Garkor: Listen closely whilst I narrate the details...

Somewhere far below the Ape Atoll...

G.L.O. Caranock: Good evening, Awowogei.
Awowogei: It is always dark here, Gnome. Why have you asked to see me in private?
Waydar: Caranock and I have a suggestion to make.
Awowogei: Then be quick about it.
Waydar: The foot soldiers of the Royal Guard in your jail...
G.L.O. Caranock: Would it not be easier if they were somehow just to... die?
Awowogei: Why would I want to do that? Your king would declare war on my island.
G.L.O. Caranock: I can assure you he will not. We will lay the blame at the humans' feet. Narnode will indeed declare war: not against you, but against humankind.
Waydar: You are of course welcome to your share of the profits.
Awowogei: Intriguing. I have recently secured an alliance with the northern monkeys, which may prove useful. What would you have me do?
G.L.O. Caranock: Kill the foot soldiers and the rest of the 10th squad. My superior has sent you a few tricks which may prove useful.
Awowogei: Such as?
G.L.O. Caranock: High magic: the ability to summon the entire 10th squad to a single location. And –
Awowogei: Even those who escaped?
G.L.O. Caranock: Yes. And of course, you will also receive access to one of his 'pets'. You must be careful with these, as you have only one use of each. Ensure you set your trap well – none must survive lest they spread the truth.
Waydar: What of my human?
Awowogei: What human??
G.L.O. Caranock: Ignore him. My colleague's official mission was to look after a human in the area, but don't worry: it is probably dead already.
Awowogei: I should hope so, for both of your sakes. Very well. I shall let you know when I have dealt with the Royal Guard.
G.L.O. Caranock: Good luck, Awowogei.
Awowogei: With access to one of Glough's 'pets', I don't think I'll need it...

Monkey Madness: Chapter 4[]

The Final Battle

Joining the Team[]

Player: What shall we do now?
Garkor: Zooknock and I have come up with a plan.
Player: What kind of a plan?
Garkor: I hope you were listening closely. The teleportation spell that was provided will teleport ALL of the 10th squad, no matter where we may be. In effect, the spell will break Lumo, Bunkdo and Carado out of the jail for us.
Player: But you will be teleported straight into whatever trap they have prepared!
Garkor: Indeed. This is where you come in. Do not forget that we are the 10th squad of the Royal Guard, and that we are more than capable of holding our own. With your assistance, we should be able to defeat whatever is thrown at us.
Player: But how will I join you?
Garkor: Simple. We fool the teleportation spell that you are in fact a member of our squad.
Player: What?
Garkor: Zooknock knows Glough's grasp of magic well. He believes the spell is linked to the sigils that all of our squad carry. It is these sigils that identify us as a member of the squad.

Garkor hands you some kind of medallion.

Garkor: Welcome to the 10th squad, [Player].
Player: What is it?
Garkor: It is a replica Waymottin has made of our squad sigils. If you wear that when the spell is cast, you will be summoned along with the rest of us. You should prepare. Collect your thoughts and belongings and then wear the sigil. Hurry, human, we do not wish to enter this fight without you.
Player: All I have to do is wear this sigil?
Garkor: Yes – but do not do so until you are ready.

Dance with a Demon[]

Garkor: Ready yourself, human: the final battle begins!

Defeat the Jungle Demon

Garkor: Well done, human! That was a most impressive display of skill.
Player: Thank you.
Garkor: You should report to King Narnode immediately. Tell him that the 10th squad still survives and has suffered no casualties.
Player: Rest assured, I will do so. How do I leave this place?
Garkor: Speak to Zooknock. He will arrange for you to leave.

Speak to Zooknock

Zooknock: Well done, human. Bear with me now.

Speaking to Bonzara

Bonzara: It looks like you're trying to escape. Would you like some help?
Player: I ... uh ... yes.
- Bonzara: Right you are.
Player: No thank you. Who are you by the way?
- Bonzara: Never mind that child. You should worry more about who you are and the nature of the forces that have driven you here.
- Player: I'll ... keep that in mind, thanks.
- Bonzara: We WILL meet again, Player.
- Player: Okay...

Finishing Up[]

Player: King Narnode!
King Narnode Shareen: Yes? How is the mission going...it has been quite some time since I sent you on your way.
Player: It's over – it's finally over.
King Narnode Shareen: What do you mean 'over'?
Player: I mean 'finished'.
King Narnode Shareen: Yes, alright. Report on what happened.
Player: With all due respect sir, if I told you, you would not believe me. I expect Sergeant Garkor will be sending you a full report soon enough.
King Narnode Shareen: And what of my 10th squad?
Player: They all live – we suffered no casualties.
King Narnode Shareen: 'We', [Player]?
Player: I, uh, I'm part of the 10th squad now, I even have the sigil.
King Narnode Shareen: Well, now. It appears I cannot argue with that. Garkor obviously thinks highly of you, as do I. No service such as what you have done for me goes unrewarded in my kingdom. I personally made a visit to the Royal Treasury to withdraw your reward.

King Narnode hands you a huge stack of gold coins and several diamonds!

QUEST COMPLETE

Post-Quest Dialogue[]

Glough[]

Player: Hello?
Glough: This isn't the last you'll see of me, human. Mark my words – the monkeys are listening.
[Monkeyface chathead]: Whatever could he mean?